Journal Entries
tuesday 5th september 2006
Posted Sep 5, 2006
no alarm went off in my bedroom this morning.... this is alarming from several points of view.... not least from the perspective of the client who was left sitting for 30 minutes in the foyer of an overcomplicated office eyeballing a less than well slept receptionist who was more interested in the early news on sky....
this led me to ponder on causality.... well, i am a frustrated philosopher after all.... a notion to which i don't think i subscribe... it's not random enough.... hints too much at metanarrative too strongly.... has too much potential for profoundly disappointing the soul...some concept of causality is probably at the root of every major religion in the world... and thus, agruably i know, at the root of about 80% of all wars....and thus of a sizeable chunk of the world's premature death toll....
it is better to live in a world in free fall... moments flying on individual trajectories like pellets from a scatter gun....none with any impact on another... that way there is no-one to blame.... no-one to have a franchise on truth (another highly dubious notion)... no one to BE RIGHT ....
but then.... i did forget to turn the damn thing on last night....
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Monday 4th September 2006
Posted Sep 4, 2006
"everything you write is always part of the Guide" .... it seems i have encountered metaphysics at its deepest level.
i have no idea if this will be my only journal entry.... being, as i am, a past master at beginnigs...but i am not planning anything.
most probably no-one much will read it anyway.... and so my inability to maintain a simple dicsipline will in all probability remain unknown....
i remember 1978..... 1978 was the year that i promised myself that i would rise early every morning before 6o'clock and meditate.....i would record my thoughts in a diary...thus the year would form a focal point in my life.... a touchstone .... somewhere to revisit when the ice of circumstance had frozen the pulses of my heart....of course i have long since lost the diary....
but i do remember that often i rose... not at 6o'clock ot even at 7.... but later, much later.....rushing to work and meditating not a moment .... and yet, for some reason that may well highlight my innermost and most compelling weakness.... i would stop to write the morning's excuse in the diary .... "hard night, baby cried, slept in, sore head, no meditating today" ..... excuses to my soul ..... for no one else could give a damn....
indeed ..... everything you write is always part of the Guide
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Latest reply: Sep 4, 2006
ianhimself
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