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Someone else's tragedy
Ivan the Terribly Average Started conversation Feb 8, 2008
This isn't my story, and it isn't really mine to tell, but I have to put it somewhere. It's about a friend of mine, who I'll call Sally for the sake of discretion.
I used to w*rk with Sally. She's one of those people who are always undervalued by employers - you know, the sort whose efforts are only noticed in a negative way, when something goes wrong and they haven't been able to get everything done on time. If a bad office environment wasn't enough, in the time I've known her Sally has also had to fight her way out of a bad marriage. Her husband constantly denigrated her and treated her like dirt, then flaunted his mistress in front of her. So Sally finally broke free, with a significant strain on her health.
Then Sally met a chap who I'll call Steve. He's a true gentleman, from the generation before mine and Sally's. Steve has also been married before. He's a widower; his wife and son were killed in a car crash some years ago. He's also had to deal with any number of other horrors; it's a wonder he's as resilient as he is. Somehow, he's managed to rise above it all and just keep going. He is so good for Sally; I'm glad they met. They understand each other on some deep level, and suit each other down to the ground.
So there you go - there's proof that there's someone for everyone, and that there's no telling where or when you'll find the right one.
But just to prove that the Universe serves only to toy with us all - Steve's now been told that he has lung cancer, and that the cancer is spreading throug his lymphatic system. It's inoperable, and therefore terminal. He might not make it to Christmas.
I was out with Sally and Steve last night. They're cramming as much into life as they can, while Steve's still up to it. When things change, Sally is likely to leave her job and nurse Steve for as long as possible. And after that... who knows. I'm just one of many people who'll be standing by when Sally needs support.
It's all so horribly unfair.
Someone else's tragedy
Moonhogg - Captain Coffee Break Posted Feb 8, 2008
Well, I hope they get a whole life's happiness out of the time they have together!
I suppose it puts our own problems into perspective though, and makes us appreciate what we have...
Someone else's tragedy
Big Bad Johnny P Posted Feb 8, 2008
I suppose nobody said life was supposed to be fair, but sometimes it does seem terribly UNfair.
Someone else's tragedy
psychocandy-moderation team leader Posted Feb 8, 2008
Words fail me. I'm sorry.
I'm glad, though, that these two people were able to find each other and bring some genuine goodness into their lives, albeit for such a short time.
Someone else's tragedy
aka Bel - A87832164 Posted Feb 8, 2008
I'm sorry.
It makes me wonder whether Fizzy is right when she tells me I should live life to the full cause we only got this one life.
Someone else's tragedy
BMT Posted Feb 8, 2008
I don't really know what to say Ivan, having been there, done that, got the flamin T shirt. Life can be a real bitch at times. I've just had part 2 of my diary published in the post, guess it's the same scenario,
A31637757
Let's hope they enjoy the time they have together.
Someone else's tragedy
Ivan the Terribly Average Posted Feb 8, 2008
Thanks everyone.
It's all just so absurd - if this storyline were written into a soap opera plot, people would think it far-fetched.
ST, that is indeed a similar scenario...
Someone else's tragedy
frenchbean Posted Feb 9, 2008
Is it really a tragedy though? I've been there too - and don't have a single regret. IMHO the real tragedy is for the people who *don't* meet the person they're supposed to be with and never experience the extraordinary happiness of belonging.
I hope that Sally and Steve manage to live everyday to the full and in the knowledge that their love won't die so long as one of them is alive.
And I hope that their friends and loved ones can also live each day with them enjoying life.
Someone else's tragedy
Ivan the Terribly Average Posted Feb 9, 2008
I feel it's a tragedy, but in an ancient sense. A Greek tragedy. It's that knowledge that there's fatality at the end, regardless what we do.
Someone else's tragedy
Ivan the Terribly Average Posted Feb 9, 2008
What I'm experiencing at the moment is a ghastly feeling of everything slipping away. It's not nice. I can feel myself lapsing back into depression and I don't want to go there. I spent yesterday with D, the love of my life, and even then I couldn't reach that level of contentment I usually achieve when he's around.
Is 37 too young for a mid-life crisis?
Someone else's tragedy
Moonhogg - Captain Coffee Break Posted Feb 9, 2008
That all depends on how long you intend to live. Having a mid-life crisis now means you'll only reach 74. Leave it a few years, Ivan!
If it's any consolation, not every day spent with a LOYL person is a perfect day. Everyone has average days, or bad days with them. Look upon a bad day as a reference point so you appreciate a good day even more!
Someone else's tragedy
Ivan the Terribly Average Posted Feb 9, 2008
Yes, that's sound advice. Thanks.
What really annoys me about having a not-good day with D is that we rarely see each other as we live 300km apart. So there's an opportunity lost.
Someone else's tragedy
Moonhogg - Captain Coffee Break Posted Feb 9, 2008
Ahh, I didn't realise that. Yes, that would be disappointing then. Hopefully next time will be better...
I have to be going shortly - I'm quite tired, it's been a long day. I had a late night last night, and an early start today - I met up with Prof, ST, and Lil + Hubby today, which was great - and then carried on to my parents' house. I've got a week off, and me, The Missus, and the Sprogs are staying here for a break - so my usual weekday service will be somewhat erratic.
I do hope you're okay, Ivan. Keep in touch with us over here as best you can, we *do* care, and hate to think of anyone being down. Check my PS for a poem...
Take care, mate.
Someone else's tragedy
Ivan the Terribly Average Posted Feb 9, 2008
Have a nice break.
I'll be seeing D again in a couple of weeks' time, in Sydney. I have every intention of being in a better mental space by then.
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Someone else's tragedy
- 1: Ivan the Terribly Average (Feb 8, 2008)
- 2: lil ~ Auntie Giggles with added login ~ returned (Feb 8, 2008)
- 3: Hati (Feb 8, 2008)
- 4: Moonhogg - Captain Coffee Break (Feb 8, 2008)
- 5: Big Bad Johnny P (Feb 8, 2008)
- 6: Snailrind (Feb 8, 2008)
- 7: psychocandy-moderation team leader (Feb 8, 2008)
- 8: aka Bel - A87832164 (Feb 8, 2008)
- 9: Moonhogg - Captain Coffee Break (Feb 8, 2008)
- 10: BMT (Feb 8, 2008)
- 11: Ivan the Terribly Average (Feb 8, 2008)
- 12: frenchbean (Feb 9, 2008)
- 13: Ivan the Terribly Average (Feb 9, 2008)
- 14: Ivan the Terribly Average (Feb 9, 2008)
- 15: Moonhogg - Captain Coffee Break (Feb 9, 2008)
- 16: Ivan the Terribly Average (Feb 9, 2008)
- 17: Moonhogg - Captain Coffee Break (Feb 9, 2008)
- 18: Ivan the Terribly Average (Feb 9, 2008)
- 19: lil ~ Auntie Giggles with added login ~ returned (Feb 9, 2008)
- 20: Ivan the Terribly Average (Feb 9, 2008)
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