h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I am.

Well you should drop by the tearoom then. It's closing today.

I can't, I've got to go in a minute.

Why is it closing?

Well it's nearly at post 15,000 and people are complaining about loading times, so I'm making a new one once we reach post 15,000.

Just drop by for one post.

OK then... just for you.

Remember where you were on this day. Your children will want to know some day.

I'm not having children.

Then you're contributing to the growing pension crisis. Thanks a lot!

Get over it. I'm saving the planet.

No, you'd be saing the planet by not having children in a poor country. In fact, rich countries need MORE children.

I'm saving the planet by not adding to an overabundant unappreciative parasitic species who bleed the Earth for all it's got and then turn round to each other and say we need to do something about global warming.

Yes, and if the good people, like you, don't have children then you wont be able to teach them these things. Then the bad people who do have children will teach them the wrong things and the world will be screwed over for another generation.

Maybe I'll adopt.

Nah, adopted children tend to kill their parents more than non-adopted children. It has to do with genetics.

What?

Well people don't tend to kill members of their own family because of the genetic similarities. It has to do with some sort of survival instinct.

Then why does suicide exist?

Because some people are weak.

Ah.

BTW, I tried to send you a text but it didn't work. Did you type the right number?

Yes, that's my number alright. Did you try it with the Irish area code (353)?