h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Heh.

*a judge appears and teleports Anole into jail* ... ?

*bribes judge and entire court system to erase arrest record and place EC in jail for false inprisionment*

*casts Allmighty Antilaw* Nuh-uh. Can't touch me. *plays Family Guy song*

*bribes change to go around anti-laws*
*EC teleports to prison for acts of terrorizom by way of Patriot Act (act not law)*

*summons Bahamut to be my lawyer* Yeah. You didn't know that the Final Fantasy king of dragons knew law did you?

*bribes dragon king with wealthy retirement, funded by yours truely*

*Bahamut uses Giga Flare on Anole* ... I forgot to mention... he hates bribery...

I like fire
*enjoys fire*

Giga Flare isn't fire based. Its pure magic energy. And nobody is proof against that. Nobody.

I like energy.
*enjoys fire like pure energy and casts unsummon*

*in actualilty the spell deeply hurts the dragon* Plus dragons can't learn Unsummon. You'd have to pay two blue mana but wait! You're a red dragon! Ha ha!

*leaves bored to look into spell books and rules*

You, philosophically speaking, are playing with a red-only deck. You can't use blue spells such as unsummon and counter. So nah.

We playing Poker or something?
*Leaves to look into magic books, philosophy, and rules (conviently all in one book at the DragonHouse library)*

Foolish red dragon! We are speaking of the gathering of magic! AKA magic: the gathering!

*ignores EC to study*

Ironically, i could tell you more than that book could.

*ignores EC to study*

*burns the book*