h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I did that ages ago. Didn't you notice?

Hmm flowers, that is the only thing remotely related to an island around here. Hmm, I have a feeling I should be doing something at the moment.

Right Garibaldi, There is something you should be doing. I want you to pull out the daffodil with all of your might when I count to 47. On each number I will take a pace so by the time I say 47 I should be in that bunker over there.

1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10...

Ick...you mean Garabaldi is going to go off? I didn't need to know that...

Not Garibaldi. But I think that the Duke will be slightly unpleased byt he action and may take offense. The bunker is a safety precaustoin only and everyone else should be quite safe with minimal body armour and a towel held in front fo their faces.

Right. I'll be in the bunker.

Um.... does this really have to happen? *gulp* Er... I'm feeling a whole lot better guys. Honestly!

You know this is for your own good.Nobody can go around stark naked with a daffodil... there. Now just lie down and think of England, It's best not to think of anywhere you like while this procedure is in progress.

Right, grit your teeth, elbows and eyelids and let the fun begin!

11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20

Um... why 47? Can't we just get this over and done with?

OK 47, I'm in the bunker on my own. What? Where did you lot come from?
Alright, alright!

REMOVE THE TULIP!

Everyone get your heads down. What do you mean you've only got one?

I could give a very rude answer to that but I won't .

Now that my tulip has been sugically removed, what happens now?

We send it to someone we don't like. Any suggestions?

Oi - stop looking at me like that.

Um. We are still trapped on this island, aren't we? I lost the thread of this discussion a long time ago.

And Vestlad, I can look at you any way I want as you seem to be holing a rather soiled looking daffodil.

The thread?! Oh the THREAD! Er... yes we all didn't get abducted by aliens in the other thread so we came here to be marooned on an island and turn it into a theme park with a twist and then we seem to have lost it. And its all my fault.
*loud noise of tears running down Vestboy's cheeks*

Vestboy can be our main attraction--the only superhero who's a human fountain.

*noise of tears running down vestboys legs*

Pigeons start fluttering in from everywhere and landing on the Vestboy fountain. Old ladies start sitting around him throwing breadcrumbs to the pigeons. A group of playful youths tag him with fluro green spraypaint, laughing merrily as they do.

An ecosystem develops.

Tourists start coming from other islands to visit our theme park featuring Vestboy, the human fountain. Planes use the fountain as a navigational tool to land from. People fall in love, governments are formed, monuments are constructed and religions are formed all due to the sacrifice of one little demi-super hero (villian?).

All the original inhabitants of Abduction Island leave rich people. Very, very rich.

But what of Vestboy? The others only hear rumours now. Some say he's still there, now older than time itself. Some say that he left years ago, and passed his unique gift to a world to an apprentice. Some say it's no longer human, this thing that stands in the theme park: that it's either a mechanical replica or that Vestboy's beyond human now. He has taken his place among the gods. But no one knows for sure. These are now tales that grandparents tell to grandchildren in the late hours of the evening.

All that people know for sure is this: Abduction Island, once an inhospitible wilderness, is now a place thriving with beauty and peace. The other thing that all people know is that the original inhabitants, now rich beyond their wildest dreams, don't really care.

Is the Duke around I wanyt to ask him something

Oi mush. I'm a bloomin' superhero. I was always beyond human!

Ha snayone got a hairdryer to use on my y-fronts?