h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Isn't odd how, now we have Five, the Backstreet Boys, 911 and all the other interchangeable boy bands, suddenly Boyzone don't seem quite as bad as they used to? Still insufferable, obviously, but not quite as bad.

Yes but they are splitting up next year anyway cos they reckon they are too old.

But by that argument Bros would be popular again.

Come on, you have to draw the line somewhere!

Amazing band, Bros - such a powerful sound despite only having a singer, a drummer, and a bass guitarist who left after the first album because he didn't look like the other two. (NB: I use the words "singer", "drummer" and "bass guitarist" in the loosest possible sense.) Most other bands would at least pretend to have a guitarist (see Wham!).

It's times like this, stumbling over a conversation featuring Five, Wham and Bros, that I really, really wish I'd taken the opportunity to really stare at the eclipse and fry my retinae (I can't accept that retinas is the correct plural). No hang on, it's my hearing I want to lose. Maybe this "listening to the eclipse" thing would have worked at full volume.......

Hey there is a lot to be said for slagging off certain areas of popular culture - you ask the Spanish Inquisition.

Blimey! I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition!

What a double act we make! I was going to put Hitler but less witty rejoinder potential with that one.

You're right - light-hearted quips about Hitler are hard to come by.

Oh, except... the first time John Lennon saw Sparks on TV, he allegedly said "Bloody hell, Yoko, look - they've got Hitler on the telly!"

Now you see that just underlines what a talent the man was. Lennon that is rather then Hitler.

Well, absolutely. He is also credited with inventing the word "Crimble", and starting the Russian Revolution (I may be wrong about the last one).

No you're right about the last one...Lenin was another typo in the history books.

It's a bit complicated because it involves the same old split timelines of any everyday temporal displacement event, but, to cut a long story short, "Back In The USSR" is a bit more literal than is usually acknowledged.

By the way, The Ben Folds Five don't have a guitarist, and there's only three of them. Now that's style!

True, but Ben Folds is also a pianist, whereas Matt Goss is a.... oh, work it out for yourself.

Hold on where did Ben Folds and his two companions spring from?

I think it was the bit about having only a singer, a drummer and a bass player.

Of course, Bros are often compared to BF5. For example, "Compared to Ben Folds Five, Bros are crap."

Oh I don't think that is fair at all - they were worse then crap. Every day I thank the lord that I wasn't caught up in the mania like all my friends were.

Agreed, they were astonishingly poor, but I didn't want to express the full extent of my feelings - this is a family website, after all. Still, Luke Goss - what a drummer, eh? Amazingly consistent, and a great sense of timing... he could almost have been a drum machine. Oops, I've said too much.

Compared to Ben Folds Five, Bros were the little bit of crap that even really stupid bacteria would prefer to ignore.

Okay, let me amend my previous example. Compared to crap, Bros were even worse.

While we're on the subject: Steps. What's all that about?

And S Club 7 - why?