h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

She's in Return of the King. Great book... I should know, I've read it like twenty times. Did you start with the Hobbit or skip it?

I started with the Hobbit.

Good for you.

Now I'm in the chapter of LOTR* called "Treebeard" and Fangorn is about to call an Entmoot.

[*LOTR = Lord Of The Rings, abbreviated on the same principle as ROTJ = Return Of The Jedi]

Oh, the Ents... they're the best... but I do wish I had some of that Ent beer to help me grow a little. I want another growth spurt... oh well, it's way too late for me.
-io-

[wonders if asking this is a good idea] You know basically what I look like on the H2G2, from my "web bit." What do /you/ look like?

First of all, your web bit has a stick figure. Well not quite but you know. Oh well. Wait, let me guess: A fourteen year old boy who sits around playing really bad games based on really bad anime?

Second... I will tell you but I really don't think it matters. I'm a little shorter than average, I've got brown hair, blue eys... I feel like I'm writing a personal ad. How bout some better ones (Did a quick survey):

"Messy"
"Like you need a shower"
"Like a sixteen yearold girl, for God's sake!"
Well that about wraps it up for God. I'm also not sixteen, whichmkes it funnier. But you get the jist of it.
-io-

How old /are/ you? No, never mind, I don't really want to know.

You're lying... If you didn't want to know you wouldn't have posted the message. And since I'm a good person (well, sort of) I will tell you - I'm almost sixteen. Happy? Now stop asking questions.

OKAY! Okay! I won't ask you why the blazes Aerol Nex asked you to come to the Quest to tackle me just in time for those Feron Warriors to come by!

[wishes he hadn't said that]

Erm, don't answer that.

[wishes he hadn't said that either]

Oh...

[wishes he hadn't even read "The Long Dark Tea Time of the Soul" in the first place and gotten the idea of this thoroughly ridiculous forum post]

Though I have read Tea-Time, I think I missed that one.

Care to explain your joke?

It's in the scene where Toe Rag glues Thor to the floor. Thor says, "Did you ..." tries to think a way to say "glue me to the floor" that won't sound like "glue me to the floor," fails, says "glue me to the floor," wishes he hadn't said that, says, "Don't answer that!" and wishes he hadn't said it.

Ah yes. Thanks for the refresher.
How is LOTR coming along?

I've gotten to the bit where Pippin pledges allegience to Minas Tirith and learns the Lesser Pass-Words.

Aha. That pre-war bit in Minas Tirith is one of my favorites. And soon enough you will meet Ioreth.

And now I'm at the part where Eowyn croaks the King of the Nazgul.

Nice... "no mortal woman am I!' That was quite good of Tolkien, although in the end he ruins her character. Oh well.

No, she said, "No mortal MAN am I" and now Aragorn's revived her, Faramir, and Merry.

However Nanette is a real life thing and Ioreth is not. No one calls me Ioreth. Nor am I called Ralph Nader. For that matter, I'm not called Donald. But that makes sense. AHHH!!! *too much caffeine*

Whoopsee, posted that in the wrong forum.

What I meant was, oops, good call. And you have of course now met Ioreth... get it?