h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, take the hole out and we'll start again.
*takes hole out of bucket and throws it down on the deck*

You don't want to leave that hole lying there - somebody might fall in.

Don't be stupaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
*thump*

*dam...I was gonna do that!*

*faintly, from somewhere below deck* Feel free, Sid!

I hate to be the one too mention this, but surely with a hole in the ship, nothing is keeping the water from getting in. I think we shoould abandon radio station, and get back into the other ship. Er, who moved the other ship?

Don't worry, the hole is only in the deck... we'll be fine as long as nobody does this:
*picks up hole and throws it at the side of the ship, below the water line*
So I don't want to see anyone doing that, okay?


*thinks for a second*

Where's all this water coming from?

I don't care where it's coming from - its where it's going to that i worry about.

We need another hole so that the water can get out as well as come in.

*peels the hole off the side of the ship, tears it in half and hands one half to Vestboy*
There you go, cap'n.

I think they need to be a little larger. Here, have my rolling pin. We'll soon get them the right size.

Now you're just being silly.

Anybody could tell you the the outlet hole has to be bigger than the inlet hole AND further down the hull.

Silly-billy!!!!

Damn! They're both the same size. Does that mean we've got two inlets or two outlets.

Bugger! I've got a hole in my hand now! Waht's all that red stuff?

Tomato sauce... can we try and keep the holes away from the food supplies?

That prooves the theory by that Galley Lao chap. When a tomato sauce bottle is filled too full it achieves critical mass and collapses to form a red hole. It also explaines the receny mysterious disappearances of ships cooks.

Galley Lao! Galley Lao! Galley Lao! Figaro!

Can you do the Fandanggo!!

Er, no, I can't.

Hmm, I wonder where these holes go. Let's see...

*JTWL proceeds to roll up his sleeves, realises he has no sleeves and thinks he probably looks a little stupid. He plunges his hand into one of the holes, and it comes out of the other one.*

Yep, just as I thought. You can't use these holes to get rid of the water. It would just go in one hole and out the other. The only thing this would be useful for would be on a politicians headware.

Yes, but unfortunately politicians come with them installed as standard.

There might just be a use for them though - If I put one here..... and one over here......I can....

*Jim Lad reaches into the hole in front of him and scratches himself on the back*

.....Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah - that's good.