h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Have you any guide lines on mastering them bloody machines that insist on only letting you have such a short piece of towel before the brake clicks in and you are forced to use some one elses mucky bit to dry the digits?

AG

Well, there are those antiseptic screenwipers that'll do but the most efficient way of handling those things is just to give a good YANK...
Either the machine will comply or the sanitary department will decide that to many of the machines are damaged to justify new replacements.
If you can't beat them Think Harder ! I mean : what good is a towel if you can't take it with you ?

There is of course the approach of 'where's your own towel", I mean no self respecting researcher for the guide would be caught dead without his towel.
On the other hand a sharp blow to the temple of the machine should open it so that you cannot attack all the virgin towel thatis left.
Having said that in my experience, bathrooms are the last place to be looking for pieces of virgins.. Unless you count the girls changing room.

where have i gone??? i think i need to back out slowly now before anyone sees me as this seems to be a little odd.

Found me did you ? The later the hour the weirder they get...

I am not sure that it is the hour, more likely the amount of time spent on the beaches, by the Lake of Bliss

ahh! towelmaster and obscure, we meet yet again
i guess with the two of you as companions in this....what is this anyway?, it can't be all bad, or can it? owwhhcchh, my head is starting to hurt.

Aha, so we do, your guaranteed to be driven to drink, with the serious, yet strange absurdities that The TowelMaster, and Obscure can generate, ably assisted by Marv the Grate, and Loonytunes. The cosmos is our oyster, best served with an ice cold Stolichnya.

"burp", oh, excuse me, i feel that you are a bit late as i have already been driven to drink.
did i ever mention that i absolutly LOVE VODKA!!!!! wonderful, "burp", oh excuse me again , fantastic, stimulating stuff!!!!!!
now, you must excuse me for a moment as i seem to of misplaced my glass.

ah, you have not misplaced it, but unbenownst to you, your own subconscious has teleported your glass into the bar for a refill, and will miraculously reappear any moment now.
Talking of which my throat is really dry, and my telekinetic powers seem a little low, so I guess I will have to walk to the bar myself to remedy this sad situation. Ta Ta for now.

ahh, obscure, you were right, as usual, my glass has returned and is full to the brim of wonderful delightful VODKA!
if you would like me to i will send my spare glass to you filled with fresh VODKA.
.
.
.
.
did i ever tell you how much i just LOVE VODKA!!!!!

I changed my surname to Hotel to account for my towel collection.
And ashtrays, cutlery etc., etc.

AG

Gruntfuttock A T i see you have a fetish for towels
care for some vodka, maybe with a splash of orange juice?

pardon me, just stepping in for a moment on my rounds to let you all know that if you want to see zachsminds newest idea then click on this link, i think you will be impressed, i know i was
http://www.h2g2.com/P107407

Been there, seen it Monshari and he has a couple of valid points.
I must say however, that I don't consider H2G2 as a 'normal' chatroom. Whatever it is that the people in the organisation did they did start something new.

Still, anything to help out...

great towelmaster!! glad to hear that you and your towel will be onboard
i agree, they have started something completely different and i am anxious to see where it goes in the future.
you know, if our towels keep meeting like this people are going to start talking

Nice offer but a G & T or better still a glass of Pilsner has my mouth watering!

AG

As a single bloke I find that my towels tend to be a bit too stiff after a few weeks of use to be able to get about by themselves.

AG

well all you need to is ask and it will be done one G & T and one pilsner coming right up!.......catch!

If you REALLY want a drink you should try the Lake of Bliss, at Beer, airport checkins continued, where the twelmaster, marv the grate, loonytunes and myself could do with some help. Cheers