Journal Entries
On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
Posted Dec 16, 2000
This is the limit. My 'girlfriend' put up eleven scotsmen to come round at seven this morning and start piping outside my house. Never mind the neighbours, I'm livid myself. The police came round to tell me that I'm on the brink of being evicted.
Contacted a lawyer.
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Latest reply: Dec 16, 2000
On the tenth day of Christmas my true love sent to me...
Posted Dec 15, 2000
...ten Lords a-leaping. Um.
I'm not quite sure how to take this one. Ten fully grown men from the House of Lords jumping about on my lawn like idiots. I'm getting seriously worried about their sanity, let alone my girlfriend's.
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Latest reply: Dec 15, 2000
On the ninth day of Christmas my true love sent to me...
Posted Dec 13, 2000
Now this is more like it! Nine dancing ladies today... could it be that my girlfriend is more open minded than I'd realised?
On the down side, I received a letter from the council saying they'll take legal action if I don't do something about the aviary noise.
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Latest reply: Dec 13, 2000
On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
Posted Dec 13, 2000
Eh? Now this is turning really wierd. Eight milk maids turned up at my door this morning, and claimed that I am now their boss. Apparently my girlfriend ('true love' is pushing it a bit now) has hired them for me. Don't ask me why.
When they finished milking their cows I set them to feeding and cleaning up after the birds. They're not entirely useless...
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Latest reply: Dec 13, 2000
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me...
Posted Dec 11, 2000
Swans this time! I can't believe it! There are seven swans swimming in my pond and making a right racket! What on earth am I meant to do with all these birds? The Neighbourhood Watch sent round a delegation to complain, and I managed to persuade them that the birds aren't staying long, and the geese and swans will increase neighbourhood security enormously. However I did ring up my girlfriend and told her rather forcibly that if she sends me any more birds then we're over, and I'll take legal proceedings.
There. My problems are over.
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Latest reply: Dec 11, 2000
Peregrin
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