h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

LOL

Don't forget the world's finest simulated Gem stone!

*nonchalantly rearranges her hair to cover her ears*

WM - is that a confession?

Why, I don't know what you mean. Are you insinu- perhaps it's just tha- I mean, Oh!

*she finally cracks, sniffles softly*

It's true, it's true... I have a Q member number.

Actually, my RL sister-in-law is in employee. Some deals are just too good to pass up. But I swear, I don't have a single Jennifer Kirk or Joan Rivers item.

Somewhere out there, there must be a Neil Diamond impersonator calling himself Neil Diamonique.
And if not, there should be.

Never mind QVC, try what comes on after Eurosport. A load of fit b******s trying to plug their new 'miracle, better than anything' fitness machines (Chuck Norris is in one of these) and music videos. The single worst TV channel anywhere. Yes, worse than channel 5.

"The single worst TV channel anywhere" - that's quite a boast, have you seen TV Travel Shop?

(why don't I ever get to see any of these 'entertaining' chanels? )

Presumably because you choose to do useful things with your time.

like casting my emails out on the internet, where they may or may not return after many days...

Maybe, but it'll never be as big a mistake (or as disturbing) as that webpage. Those were adults, you realise.

Can I just say that after browsing through that home page (yes, the whole one) I'm not surprised that they would embark on such a cruise and dress up like fairies.
Home page owner's tips on repairing a car roof that leaks: Sand it down, and fill it with expanding, setting foam. A car that he's bought for $250, he's spent $2000 on in the last couple of years (probably not including the roof repairs).

I used to like watching infomercials, especially all the old ones on Quantum Shopping Channel, where they sold woks, juice machines, and of course all the infomercials "starring" Mike Levy on "Amazing Discoveries". I always wanted one of those kits to do stained windows "that looks like they're done by a professional, but for only 65 cents a window".

*sighs happily*

I do have a lttle confession to make.

My first job in TV was for the company that made Travel Shop. I worked on a programme called holidaymaker - and all I'm going to say is that I will watch this space with interest

There's a company that makes it? I thought the presenters operated the cameras themselves.

Some aspects make the company appear to be a graduate from the Mickey Mouse School of Broadcasting.

While away on shoot you would have to be researcher, Assistant Producer, Assistant Cameraman, runner, production assistant.

A complete nightmare but nice people and excellent training in all spects of TV

Oh I see so that program was a televised training exercise!

Don't mock the Mickey Mouse school of Television. It has produced Britney Spears, Christine Agruliera, and whot's his face from N'Synch.

Ok on second thoughts mock, lambast and ridicule the Mickey Mouse school of television.

Who's the leader of our gang,

er....

*scratches head furiously*

erm.........a friend for you and me?

*gives up*

M-I-C, K-E-Y, M-O-U-S-E!