h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What's the nickname? Is it w*rksafe or even hootoosafe?

Amy Foetus You have to know my proper second name really
I've got five now - Stephen, Perfec, Feet, Frodo Baggins and Foetus

What a weird and cruel nickname, you need to come up with some equally evil/eviler names for your work colleagues.

"Stephen" is the strangest one, when someone says that name now, I think they're talking to me

I'm rubbish at thinking up nicknames, but I still take the piss

I'm so cold at the moment I feel like going round to Boots and buying a hot water bottle.

You ever heard that phrase "smuggling peanuts"? Well, that's me.

Did the Stephen one start around December by any chance?

Christmas -> Good King Wenceslas -> Feast of Stephen -> Feet of Stephen

I'd not even thought of that one!

It's from Stephen Hawking

So you're really good at physics?

I've just booked two tickets for Come Again - The World of Peter Cook and Dudley Moore at the Fringe

Not really, I can just sometimes remember odd bits of information

I just got kicked off of hootoo.

"You ing "

ing gives me the 'orn...

"What a !"

The hamster's are dying of heat exhaustion!

Or hamsters even

Hamsters give me the 'orn...

But they don't have a horn. They sold it to pay for a server upgrade. The only thing they've got is a little treadmill, a little water bottle and a server full of shredded paper.

Oh hang on that's what the problem is. The shredded paper's clogging up the heat sink no doubt

SHredded paper, cor, I've got the 'orn...

My mum came into my room and

This bloke came up to me.

Somebody just got a bollocking for flooding the "What Music Are You Listening To At This Precise Moment?" thread.