h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Good lord, Dr Vibenstein, aren't you ever out of bed?

Not when I'm around!

No... I have great difficulty getting up in the morning.

I'm not even going to answer that one!

I think those last two posts are what's called premature jocularity.

That sounds painful!!

Mornin' all, Nurse Delphic back on duty.

Who left all these contraceptive pills lying in the corridor? What are they doing here? I can't conceive...

Have you seen a doctor?

Ouch.. sorry nurse, they must be mine.. are they a particulary attractive shade of pink?? Thats them! (why do pills have to be girly, that is the question..)

Sorry, did you want some big, hard, masculine looking pills?

Speaking of pills, the Nurse hasn't been on her morning round yet, asking us to take our pills from that box on her trolley.

My morning's not complete until I've had a rummage in Nurse's box...

That woman in the next ward had a terrible time trying to open her bottle of pills - it was one of those childproof bottle tops. In the end she had to come and ask me to help take her top off, because her arms are in plaster and she found it very difficult to screw properly.

Oh, the poor woman. I suppose you had to help her to take it as well, and make sure that she swallowed?

Well, she told me she had terrible trouble getting it down the back of her throat. But it slipped in eventually...

You people are disgusting... Tee Hee

Yes, she wanted to spit it out, but I convinced her to swallow it in the end.

Morning all Dr D here.

I find that if they wont swallow its best not to waste time arguing.I just close off their nose with my fingers and rub their throat with my other hand. Then give them a glass of water to get rid of the bad taste. If they are really good and swallow all I give them, I give them a lollipop.

Actually, the Nurses here love lollipops as well. You often catch them sneakily sucking on a big purple one...

Now be quiet, you, or else we shall get out the Nasty-Tasting medicine! My biggest bottle is right here - if I could only get my top off...

Yes I know but they dont like to suck them slowly and enjoy them, they always bite the end off and chew them.