h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's me Morris.....I've had a hell of job getting this page loaded today. EV, I see you had the same problem I thought someone was trying to keep me out.

It's not all it's cracked up to be being in charge of the world you know, I've hardly stopped all day. Come back Drool is all I can say, I'll need a holiday myself after this week. Is there any tea going????

Ooh, hello - I've just put the kettle on. Yes, it was a titanic struggle trying to post anything this morning, but it seems to have settled down now. Cake?

Hi all...
I'm back from lunch, and the shits hit the fan here!!

Ive got my contractors letting me down left-right and centre at the moment!!!!

I'm extremly angry and I'm gonna start SHOUTING!!!!

Right, what barstard shall I phone first!!!!!

oh thank god - oestrogen!

Morris how are you love?

Huh, contractors... bolshy lot, are they? My advice is just to shoot the lot of them. It may seem harsh, but that's because it is.

Extremely fraught Lochy, I don't know whether I'm coming or going! Thanks for the tea EV just what I needed.

Sid what's the matter - have the contractors mutineed or are the revolting?

There not producing the f*cking goods on time, which means my other contractors now won't fit the f*cking goods cos they are now commited else where!!!

Oh.....I see. Well erm perhaps shouting will make you feel better. Tell them they are all bastards!!!!!!!

Have you tried Zen Archery?

Lochy - what's that?

Well the most interesting form I thnk is when the archer takes aim at the contractor ... sorry I mean the Zen person, who has his eyes closed. He aims for the heart. When he loses the arrow the Zen person catches the arrow before it hits him without opening his eyes.

I have found out that my job has been side-lined because my contractor has dropped a clanger, and is well behind ion a job for British Rail!!

I am not a happy bunny

Aaahh...now everything becomes clear. I rather like the sound of that but I'm not sure Sid will agree to letting the Zen person catch the arrows. Still I know a few people her I' gonna try it out on!!!!!

Aaaah Poor Sid!!!!!*gives Sid big hug* There, there it'll all seem better in the morning.

Would an SPB help to cheer you up?

Have a hug from me too *squeezes all the breath out Sid* Poor lamb!

I'm off now got to hit the high spots - well Tesco's actually. See you all tomorrow.

Sid I hope you feel better by then, night.

I still stand by the shooting option, SId. It's the only language they understand!

Ahaaa...I am making headway.....

Ohooo, thanks for the hugs.

I have gone to the top, and dumped on the works manager!!!

I have been promised a "favroble Outcome", by the MD of the manufacturing company!!!!

The power is mine.....all mine......hah hah hah *sid lets out a victorious laugh*

*ticks off "Favourable outcome" on his Buzzword Bingo card*

What is next Sid - World Domination?