h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"Well done to Beeline, even if you are in the 'enemy' camp"

That's what someone said after that nasty argument here the other day. No, really.

I mean, if that doesn't illustrate exactly the problem, I don't know what does. Firstly, I'm in 'the enemy camp', and secondly, because of that, I'm expected to behave in a certain way.

Prejudice, folks. Pure and simple. Accept no imitations.

*struggles in with firewood, warm beer, coathangers, marshmallows, a few tents and a propane barbeque*

Look, if someone's camping, we might as well make the best of it. Hopefully, KM'll bring her tent, but for now, get this beer chilling! I've got a barbeque to get started.

Ahem...*totin' in her bag* I a'heared we were campin. I brought s'mores stuff.

*wears stupid "Enemy" basball cap and gathers some green branches* I someone gonna start the fire so I can put on the hot dogs and burgers?

They won't suit you.

*drags the already-pitched tent in on Jonny's carpet*

*leaves it in the middle of the floor*

Right. Now. How do we get Jonny's carpet back where it belongs?

Er carry it?

Er, okay—with what?

Erm....carpet bags?

*runs off before anyone can throw any burning embers*

*Runs in wearing a bear suit...eats food...rolls around*

*runs around screaming*

BEAR!! BEAR!! BEAR!!
BEAR!! BEAR!! BEAR!!
BEAR!! BEAR!! BEAR!!
BEAR!! BEAR!! BEAR!!
BEAR!! BEAR!! BEAR!!
BEAR!! BEAR!! BEAR!!
BEAR!! BEAR!! BEAR!!
BEAR!! BEAR!! BEAR!!

*suddenly remembers that Panda Bears are not indiginous to internet campsites*

Um....'Manda? Is that you? Did you eat all my oreos?

*Wanders in, wearing scouty gear: Ugly shorts, ugly shirt, a knife and a big backpack*

Hey... Is this the enemy camp? I can't believe it took so long for me to find this place. Well, hi there!

*get two sticks and rub them enthusiastically against each other*

-I know you can make fire with these, I saw it in this western once, you see...

Here, let me help you...

*gives sticks a blast from portable Acme Flamethrower Kit*

There you go. Simple innit?

*scoff scoff scoff*

SURE...do it the EASY way...

*scoff scoff scoff*

I have a nasty cold.

*hands Krissy a bottle of The Twisting, Sputtering, Snoggy-Head, Cheesy, So-You-Can-Scoff Medicine*

*suddenly remembers she's wearing a very silly bear suit*

*plops down, eats s'mores, "oooohs" and "aaaahhhhs" at all the fire play*

*snorts medicine*

*flops down next to Amanda and snuggles up 'cause she's fuzzier than usual*

*eat smores*

*points at Spartus*

How's the Bar-B-Que commin??

I'm in critical marinade stage now. Should be done soon.

Mmmmmm...steak.

Any room for a tofu dog on there?

If y'all are enemies then you're *my* enemies and I love you very much!!!

And yes I know that doesn't make any sense, that's just the way I like it

Oh, come on Kate! You KNOW it makes sense.

*psshhhhhhhttt*

Cold Bud, anyone?

Wuuuuuzzzaaaaaaaapppp!

Got any real beer?