h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

especially the procrastination part - what sacrifices can appease your displeasure (which i must surely have invoked of late)?

Have you? Sorry, I'm not omniscient. In fact, I'm bugger-all-scient. Could you sacrifice a head gasket for a Nissan Exa? I want to sell this car but the thought of changing the head gasket AGAIN thrills me like emphysema.

Or perhaps set fire to some lint whilst cahnting, "Mumbo Jumbo, mumbo jumbo".

Apparently, I've just become the god of typos. 'Chanting'.

And talking to myself.

And your an Australian!
http://www.h2g2.com/A193303

gosh, i'm terribly sorry - obviously by failing to reply i have incurred your wrath further, if today was anything to go by - perhaps a nice tyre burning will appease you?

Burn the tyres on the tight b*****d housemate's car who cut me off the ISP

okey dokey i'll see what i can do

all the tyres or just two?

Actually, better not. Then he'd have to borrow my car.

just find out what he's allergic too, rub the steering wheel with it, and viola!

Oooohhh, NASTY grrl

hey i'm nothing if not vindictive

i specialise in thinking up apt revenges (but rarely carry them out myself )

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I'm just plain malicious. And I specialise in getting other people to carry out my revenges.

You two should NEVER team up and create an evil empire...

Actually, I think they should! I would bless that empire!

And I was just thinking, "Hey, I know someone ELSE who's into destruction". Are you going to be the one to carry out the revenges Suze?

if so i could have a job for you...

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So Span, are you keen on this evil empire?
Who wants to join?

And what should this evil empire do?

Can I be the guy with the innocent face that 'accidentally' makes a very tiny mistake and stuffs everything completely, then walks around the corner sniggering uncontrollably?