Journal Entries
Bob is in his heaven, and all is right with the world...
Posted Oct 22, 2000
...and my work is probably calling me RIGHT now telling me to come in, even though they promised me a five day vacation. Do I care? No, no I don't. 
I got to see The Krissy! And The Chicago! But, most importantly, I got to share all of that with Mah MAN, and it was a very, very good vacation indeed. Now I've got the house to myself and I plan on doing nothing but me things, which really only involves catching up on the forums and e-mail, cleaning the house and taking a bath, but I'm okay with that. I plan on making every bit of this vacation count 'cause who knows when the next one will come around? 
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Latest reply: Oct 22, 2000
Lookin' out my window...
Posted Oct 15, 2000
There's a tree outside that's turned about a hundred different colors.
*gets all dreamy*
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Latest reply: Oct 15, 2000
Busy is good.
Posted Oct 12, 2000
I've got this All-Staff meeting to organize and throw together, not to mention making it FUN and... um... organized. Right. This is what I get for opening my big mouth and volunteering.
Do any of you have any ideas about how to captivate the intrests of/ involve/ mentally stimulate 150 child-care workers? If so, let me know.
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Latest reply: Oct 12, 2000
Bleepety-bleep bad mood.
Posted Oct 8, 2000
I'm trying really hard to decide if it's worth being angry or not. I mean, one minute I'm okay then the next I'm a big blistering ball of hate and spit and all the cruddy, yucky things you could imagine rolled up into one, with room left over for a couple of stinky socks worth of blech. And then some.
Alternating with a general ambivalence towards all things in general... especially the one thing that I'd never have guessed I couldn't care about. Just long enough for me to snap out of it and be mad again.
But then there's the sad thing. Sadness towards all things I can't change... the intrinsic ignorance built into our society, which excuses away the inexcusable and chalks it up to "the way things are". Things that we should have outgrown decades ago. Things that just keep rearing their ugly heads and try to make me feel ugly, pathetic and used. They make me hate who I am and who I will never be. A piece of meat for your amusement.
If I didn't care then it wouldn't hurt. But if I didn't care, that would make me just as bad as they are. Without doing a single thing... just not caring. Which, I suppose, is just as bad a thing as the thing itself because NOT caring is the root of the issue. Not caring about what the thing represents and not caring about its ramifications. Not being able to look around and realize that things are f****d up for a REASON, or realizing and not caring. Either way, just keeping the cycle going... a view that isn't likely to be changed, really, no matter what I say or think or however much it hurts me. It just continues. And it's really bloody likely to be passed on and on and on. And that's what really scares me.
Things don't seem to change, no matter what you do. It's depressing.
I could go on and on about being sick of being disappointed and high standards and the like. Really, I just needed to spew a lot of cryptic crap onto this page if for nothing else than to make a new journal entry. Maybe to get back on the computer again. I'm so disgusted with the internet and people and things and stuff, though, that it's hard to do. When I don't like things and stuff I tend to shy away from them, thinking that if I don't CONTRIBUTE to the crap and other people follow suit it'll die out on it's own. But, apparently, using things never goes out of style.
It'd be different if the shoe were on the other foot. A lot of things would. That, of course, goes without saying. If only people GOT it and realized that wrong is wrong, no matter how pretty it is, and rationalizing it only makes it worse. Excuses are excuses. Too bad only 52% of us figured that out.
But enough about me... how are you?
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Latest reply: Oct 8, 2000
I'm in love.
Posted Sep 26, 2000
Still. And love is goooooood.
Discuss this Journal entry [17]
Latest reply: Sep 26, 2000
Amanda
Researcher U39252
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