h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Are you calling my homepage a dump?

Whoops, get your finger off that complaint button. It was just badly phrased your honour.

Actually, of all the homepages I've been at, mine's has been the worst I've seen, and I'm frightened to look at the biology ones as thy've got some Javascript in them.

*considers fixing his home page and opens another bottle of bubbly to help him think. The cork lands unnoticed amidst the garbage in his newly redesigned teenage bedroom*



Cheers!

My McGonagall poem was "[Copyright material removed by moderator]".

Apart from the fact that he's been dead for 99 years, who in their right mind would want to claim copyright on it?

Intriguingly, my old homepage had a conversation on it called 'Orcus is a big Wuss' This has also disappeared.

As they would say on points of view.

why oh why oh why oh why?!!!

OK here's a puzzler.

What's going to happen if I do an entry on swearwords and unpleasantries present on the BBC site?. A quick search reveals that there are 17 F**ks without the asterisks that we must use, a fishing boat called the Pearl Necklace, one C**t, and 76 B******ds (and that's without counting myself).

I suppose there's one way to find out

They think "Wuss" is one of the rudest words ever uttered by Mongolian sailors?

Were they on the Pearl Necklace?

Does that mean the new Greenpeace ship could be called the Rainbow Kiss

Yes, maybe the French won't blow her up then.

btw is there a bald man in that boat?

I have just read the page on 'moderation' and I'm feeling so sorry for Mark Moron. Hooda thunk it...
Xolin must be spinning in his grave, saying 'toldya so'

Yep, the paranoics are really going to be enjoying their first day back.

There seem to be ways of getting round most of these restrictions without breaking the rules, eg URLs You'll find the site "Mobile stools" by using Google and typing "eating raw worms". It's not posting a URL, and it's not advertising as Google is being used in it's context as a search engine.

Alternatively there is the links Guide Entry method proposed in the House Rules which may be a better way of undermining this rule as it means a moderator checking the Forum posting, the Guide entry, and the URL from the guide entry.

Anyone fancy having a linksfest day?

The human moderation at best can only be partially enforced once the site gets going, and I think H2G2'll end up being nearly as self-moderating as it was before.

PttPBO

Oh Wumbe what have they done to yer home page!

It's 1984 all over again!

What did Orwell call the 'moderators'?

should of seen my page before I spring cleaned it - the moderators are new to the job & they are erring on the side of caution, the one post that I had unintentionally removed was re-instated ater apeal to Petra.

You should have seen it before I got the mop out.

I don't know what Orwell called them, it's been well over 10 years, but it certainly couldn't have been worse than I called them.

Imagine desecrating Scotland's National Poet McGonagall by calling him copyright material. Power mad these folks, and also breaking their own rules when they removed the Jimmy McNulty link without a word of explanation.

On second thoughts, this is more or less what my page looked like when I got back to it.

Enjoy your in context read, moderator :-




Wumbeevil lives in Glasgow, Scotland, a city famed for . . . err, nothing much. In fact it could probably be wiped off the map and no outsider would notice. The residents would wake up in the morning hungover, look around at green fields, and say, "Awnaw, werrinhellimma, Cumbernauld?"

Wumbeevil was spawned in October 1957 as a result of the coupling of his parents several months earlier after a drunken Burns night party - "Wee, sleekit timorous beastie gonyerselweeman gerrinrerr". This great age entitles Wumbeevil to add the BOF (Boring Old Fart) appendage to his name, but he much prefers to use his BSc (Blootered Scot) appendage as this reminds him of four years of drunkenness he can't remember. He was doing Applied Kronenbourg and Pernod at Glasgow Caledonian University in the 80s. So if anyone had the misfortune to run into him, please contact him with details as to how he ended up married, and which b*$!**d(s) consummated it.

Wumbeevil has stayed married to the long-suffering Wummenbeevil ever since, but for the sake of humanity, has decided not to spawn a next generation of Weewumbees. If only his parents had done the same, the world would be a better place, with more cheeseburgers, pizzas, curries and alcohol for the truly needy.

 
This page looks best in Classic Goo or Alabaster with both eyes closed
 




The Bots Guards perform the Pooping of the Colour Ceremony to celebrate the birth of a Wumbeevil







  


After several years of intense training atMiss Amy's Finishing School for Young Larvae,the Wumbeevil emerges ready for David Attenborough.









 
 


See all the creatures that wrigglethin books and in display cases


 
 

The only Honest Scottish
Site on the Net

Jimmy
McNulty's Bonnie Scotland
"I thoroughly enjoyed the poetry" - Mother Theresa
"Even I'm not allowed to use the 'C' word" - Eric Cartman
"You cant" - The cast of Eastenders
"Baaa" - Brenda

 
 

 


Glasgow, The Sewage Works at The Rear End of The Universe






Give me your mad, your poor,

Your underclasses, yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the Buckie-drinking, sobriety-lost to
me,&#160

And we'll send them straight back, to rot in Glasgow.
Yes, even if they are White Caucasian refugees,
Uncle Sam ain't that friggin' desperate you know.

©Emma Lazarus - The First Drafts.








 
 




A Glasgow
Prayer




Our Buckie,
Which art in bottles,
And half-bottles of the same.
Thy wine be drunk,
In parks as it art on corners.
Give us this day our daily sore head,
And forgive us our incontinence,
As we forgive those who p**s in empties,
And lead us not into drinking them,
But deliver us from their contents.
For thine is the fine wine,
The Buckfast with Free Rubber Panties.
Forever hungover,
Amen.




Goldilocks comes to Glasgow





 
 




Ifitsabitta kultchir yurrefter
in Glesga . . .




Glasgow







"Right, which one of you stuckthat cone on my horse?"
The Duke of Wellington Verse 4







A One Cone General
George Square











Wumbeevil has also been known to disguise himself as a female, six foot chicken at weekends to increase his chances of pulleting. If any other fowl creatures want to contact him, he can be found sitting on an egg and breaking it at [email protected]

A simulpost at 6.15 am, now that's new.

They're not just erring on the side of caution, they're not following their own rules when removing stuff.

For what it's worth my homepage was intact, complete to the graphic I borrowed from the GDML files.
But they have two of my Entries 'pending moderation' -
the one where I complained about the treatment Looneytunes "The 27th Letter" article got in PR just because it wasn't 'true'...
and my stoned rant about Icons.

*I'm gonna shoot that little green faced yikes smiley soon*

I look forward to hearing what they do to you for clogging the drains with your last post there...

BTW it's not 6:15 am it's only quarter to three-
there's no one in the place except you and me
so set 'em up Joe...
(on second thought I'm as exhausted as I was the nite we got kicked out of Eden - so I'll trundle off)

*coughs*

*Hands HappyDude a bottle of cough mixture*

*glug*

Feeling better HD?