Welcome to the court of Prince Doug

Here you will find entertainers of every description: jugglers, fire-eaters, strongmen, acrobats, lion-tamers, showgirls (woohoo), dancers, trapeze-artists, martial artists, conventional artists, zoologists (?), clowns, animatronics (cool), monsters, aliens, pop stars (at a hefty price, I can tell you), firemen (to keep the fire-eaters under control), jedis, smugglers, annoying aliens whose heads you just want to blow off with a shotgun, ancient greek gods, ancient roman gods, sado-masochists, singers, orchestras, bands, hair stylists, politicians, fast-food restaurant staff and monkeys. The things you will see here are unparallelled on eight continents, billions of solar systems and tens-of-thousands of galaxies. No wonder of the world is as awe-inspiring, no feat more majestic, no feet more smelly (a small price to pay I think you'll agree), no magic show more... magical, you will be amazed. Oh damn, hold on, this is the wrong speech, here is my one: I am the most lonely and pathetic individual on the face of this Earth and for that you should pity me, as a show of your great remorse and pity at being a far better person than I, I request that you do one of two things: A) Peruse my page, feign interest in it for my appeasement, write to me, reply nicely to my imbecilic suggestions, do not upset me or I may kill you and then myself. B) Send me all the money you have. Doing one of these will make my life worth living and that of my lover, Rudi the hamster (when I'm happy, he's happy), so be kind and generous. Other than being given the chance to secretly laugh at how pathetic I am, the only thing my page has to offer you is similar idiocy at other participating pages and the chance to read other people's scathing comments about me.

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[no subject] Sep 1, 1999 Jun 16, 2000
Sake Martini is for wimps Sep 1, 1999 No Replies
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Doug

Researcher U37012

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