h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Have you tried the IPA in the Holyrood tavern? It's not the best but there's never anything wrong with it, something hard to find these days. The Hermitage at the bottom of Morningside road does the same, though maybe it just seems that way as it's the only non-posh-arse pub for a mile round there. The Junction used to have good John Smith before it was taken over by blueness and yah-bar chic. The Theakstons in the Maltings is usually pretty good - it tastes like beer tastes outside of cities. Go and get a pint of Best then take it outside where you can concentrate on the smell.

Well, hey, sounds like I'm talking to a local. Or maybe you just visit Edinburgh a lot. I know the Holyrood tavern - a few years ago I played some gigs in there - but being the kind of wuss who can't drink and play a 12-bar blues at the same time, I never got beyond the one IPA, so can't vouch for the consistency. Maltings is out of my catchment area, so haven't tried there, but maybe I will now. You'll probably know about Clark's Bar at the bottom of Dundas Street, and another favourite of mine is the Nothumberland Bar, funnily enough, in Northumberland Street. Go there after the office suits from the lawyers' firms have finished their G&T's. And if you ain't got anything on Thursday nights, come see my band in the Ship on the Shore down Leith (that's opposite the boat on the water!). Our guitarist always manages to get a lift so he can drink while he plays and seems to enjoy himself on their beer right fine.

You're not in Stevie Agnew's band, are you? If you are, you'll now that the beer in the Blind Poet is quite presentable even if the staff are a bit offish and the music too loud. I've got to go but shall continue this.

No mate, we are the ones they call the Chilli Dogs. Might know Stevie by sight, but not the name. I too will continue this.