h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That's ok, just finished a packet of dried fruit and nuts

Trying to counteract all the badness of the first half of the day

with dried fruit and nuts?

Yeah, don't think my insides appreciate it at all

Can I test your physics knowledge? How does something which weighs so little land on the ground with such a heavy thud - ie. small

Ah, that's a question of biology, not physics

You see, felis cattus, the common house cat, produces what leading s (i.e. my mum) refer to as "evil mind rays" - this is why their foreheads have that funny grooved fur pattern.

These mind rays can be used to manipulate the world around them - and you. Why did you think you always give in when the cat wants something? For instance, my cat could make it snow, just by sitting under the rocking horse and staring outside.

One common application of these mind rays is to vary their own weight - it just needs to stay constant on *average* - this enables the cat to climb things easily while keeping its balance, and is also the reason why a cat sitting on your lap can be faaaar too heavy to lift off.

Logically, a small cat wanting to climb a lot of things will need to use all opportunities to get its heavyweight times in, such as when it's jumping down anyway - hence the loud thud

It's quite easy to test for these mind rays - cats' heads, unlike dogs', are faintly magnetic, and they don't like magnets near them, because it disrupts the rays!

Ah! I knew there was a logical explanation

She jumps the short distance from the sofa to the floor and sounds like a sack of flour landing, yet she can swing on the curtains like a trapeze artist

As for the evil mind rays, we *know* when she's being naughty even when she's in a different room so we have to go and find out what she doing of course. Therefore she gets the attention she was obviously looking for

Not very really

See? I'm sure you'll find a thousand other applications of evil mind rays when you start looking for them

Well, we all know they can outstare humans. They can sit there unblinking for hours while you

They just like playing with our minds - are you sure they're not ?

No, worse - they're the secret rulers of this planet, forget the

Actually, that's a scary thought! Must be off Mal, night

Don't have nightmares

Don't remember whether I had a nightmare... probably not

How's Mal? Are you basking in sunshine ? (obviously not right now) Over here we have a distinct lack of summery weather. Just kind of soggy and dismal looking most days

Every time I go into a forum site tonight I have to increase the text size again! *throws at laptop*

no, soggy here, too, and about 13° out But going to Romania end of the month, where it's 46°

* to check thermometer*.... well it's 24 deg indoors so almost tropical

My hair is drying nicely

Romania sounds interesting - is this for a medieval event?

well, 22° indoors, it's warm enough.

No, it's a Uni trip, we're going to Walachia and Transsylvania.

Oooh, that'll be great anyway

Will you be flying or going overland?

Just popping in and out for short visits at the moment.....

Flying, I'm afraid

And then I'm honoured that you come talk to me

Want to borrow my broomstick or jet propelled vacuum cleaner?

I can hear strains of from the local festival from the back garden tonight

thank you, no, we found cheap flights

Good thinking, I don't think there'd be much room for luggage

I'm not an fan but the music sounds ok from a distance

Mitzi had her first proper taste of the outdoors today. She's had her injections so we let her go for a wander attached to a coloured harness

probably not. And I'd get saddlesore

on a harness? Poor kitty! Ours spend all day climbing the plum tree and terrorising the neighbour's cows, now.