h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Things are going well at the moment. I've been shunted about at work a fair bit, getting pulled off one task to go work on another that has a higher priority. Keeps me on my toes, let me tell you.

The coffee table is doing well and I'm still very happy with it. I'm now saving up for a new bed to replace the waterbed I have now. I swear, that waterbed is the bane of my existence. When I move, I have to drain it and then fill it again (which takes a whole day). When my apartment flooded (from a burst pipe two floors above) I had to drain it and then fill it again. Now the heating pad has broken. I could replace the pad, but it's UNDER the mattress which means (you guessed it) that I have to drain and fill it again.

Sod it. I'm going to get a proper bed. However, until I save up the money, I have to sleep on my couch. Never get a waterbed, Frizz. They'll only cause you pain and sorrow. And weevils get a bit edgy around them, especially the ones that can't swim very well.

Got three new Dreamcast games. A golf game (which is a lot of fun), Resident Evil: Code Veronica (which is by far the best Resident Evil in the series) and some crazy japanese "role playing game" called Timestalkers. For a Dreamcast game, it makes a pretty Sega Saturn game. Lame graphics, lame models, lame animations. The only nice touch I've noticed so far is the shadows cast by the characters. They map onto walls when you get close to them, and they look correct. Other than that, it looks pretty lame (but I haven't played it much yet so maybe it will get better).

The Canucks played their final game of the regular season against San Jose on sunday and won, 5-2. Didn't matter, though, since they lost to Edmonton on friday and were consequently eliminated from the playoffs. This is the fourth year in a row that the Canucks failed to make the playoffs. If they play as well next year as they did for the last three months, we'll definitely make the playoffs next time, though (but I say stuff like that every year).

Et tu, Frizzus?

As well as ever (i.e. generally of sound mind, but with enough niggling little things to whinge about to make me reassuringly British).

A waterbed - boy, that's something I associate with sleazy Lothario types - this is a side to you that I had previously not imagined. A many-faceted chap (although I'm sure you are a non-sleazy lothario).

I was just settling down to start writing an essay and thought I'd browse around in the ether for a bit, and lo, here you were just in the right place to distract me from the onorous task of studying. For that you receive a Blue Peter badge and a CrackerJack pen

I assure you, if you saw the waterbed, you'd think nothing of it. It's not round or heart-shaped, and there are no disco balls or mirror-tiles on the ceiling. I'm most definitely no sleazy pipe-in-mouth lothario in a red crushed-velvet smoking jacket.

It's just a waterbed.

Thank you for the badge and pen. I'm always willing to help divert friends from doing something practical. However, I'm just going out for lunch and won't be back for about 45 minutes, so that should be enough time to write a few constructive paragraphs for your essay.

How considerate of you.

The image of you as a sleazy pipe-in-mouth lothario in a red crushed-velvet smoking jacket is too precious to dismiss out-of-hand. Heart-shaped waterbeds and mirror-balls as well! This certainly fits with the lounge-lizard alter-ego I'm sure you are trying to repress

Don't forget the rows of identical images of silhouetted naked women painted on the wall next to the bed.

Anyway, note the negating words in my message. Such darling fragments like, "definitely not" and the apparently forgettable gem, "not".

Don't you start now. I would be a pathetic lothario, indeed, worthy only of others' sympathy.

You're thinking of the kind of bedroom that someone like this likely has:

http://www.geocities.com/lonely451_2000/me.html

You always spoil my fun. Now I have to revert to the image of a scrawny geek with popeye-legs (albeit with nice calves) sitting at his space invaders table talking to a bunch of weevils - not quite sure which is the more bizarre

Or I could dig out the old favourite Shakespearean of retort of methink you doth protest too much - or whatever it is. I did mention it being repressed

I'm sure there is a repressed lounge lizard Lothario in all of us (I know mine is fairly close to the surface).

I don't mean to spoil your fun, Frizz. By all means, picture me however you like. However, is there a need to paint a poor, pathetic computer geek as an even more pathetic lothario decked out in his tackiest nines?

By the way, it's Space Firebird, not Space Invaders. Besides, I have a proper coffee table now, which I'm still rather excited about, as far as one can get excited about a coffee table.

Please forgive my Spoace Firebird / Space Invaders mistake. I guess there is enough of a difference between the two to make my comment verging on an insult?

No offense or insult taken. Note the smilie.

Yes, but I know how sensitive boys can get about their toys . It's that crucial difference between Action Man and Eagle-Eye Action Man

Nope. In fact, had I been aware of your outrageous notion regarding "boys and their toys" [sic], I would never have mentioned it.

Instead, I would have mentioned my desire to upgrade my DVD player from the Toshiba 4109X to the 9100 series with progressive scan support.

Blimey - that's interesting. I'm glad you didn't mention it earlier, as I miay not have been able to handle the excitement

So what's wrong with the Toshiba 4109X, apart from not supporting progressive scanning?

Nothing. Why?

Shouldn't have asked really

What is progressive scanning and why is it worth it?
Can you not be content with what you have?

I am perfectly content with what I have now, until I manage to come up with enough money to get better equipment. Progressive scan technology results in a picture that looks less like a TV image and more like the flicker-free display on a computer monitor.

Standard TV's have an interlaced display. The electron guns draw only every even scan line and then make another pass to draw the odd lines. This results in a shimmering effect which is best seen on still images with regions of high contrast (like the black sleeve of a tuxedo passed in front of a bright light - you can see the "crawl" running up the edges of the sleeve).

Progressive scan eliminates this, and I want it. As you may know, all DVD's are progressive scan-encoded, but your standard DVD player has to convert that into an interlaced signal so a standard TV can display it. This is why you kind of have to upgrade the DVD player and the TV at the same time (although most progressive scan DVD players can still output an interlaced signal).

Clear as mud. As always, the detailed thorough answer I expect from you. I get the distinct feeling you may have a touch of perfectionist about you? An admirable trait, if you have wither the patience or the money. I am very much a second-best "oh that'll do" sort of person. Not quite reached the obsessive stage in any of my interests (although when slightly younger (nowt but a teenager), I did get a bit obsessive about The Smiths - had to have all the different versions of the records, collected everything I could get my hands on - had a great compilation video tape of all the stuff I could catch off TV - it rocked! - taped over it accidentally - absolutely devastated).

And, yes, if given the opportunity, I would swap my televisual setup for yours any day - no question.

I don't remember asking you about swapping.

Sorry, I guess I'm a bit weak at explaining. Suffice to say that it's significantly better than what I have now and incredibly expensive, so although I want to upgrade, I will wait until I either have lots and lots of money, or the price comes down quite a ways.

The latter is more likely to happen first.

Ah, but by that time, something newer and sexier and more expensive will have been released

Precisely, and then it all starts over again. You see? It's a perfectly natural, cyclical phenomenon, just like the seasons and the Vancouver Canucks failing to make the playoffs each year.