h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hey stranger - sorry for the prolonged absence. Work has been mentyal and I have been absolutely exhausted. Also got a copy of The Sims and have been finding it weirdly addictive. It should be thoroughly boring by nature but I can't tear myself away.

But I have the day off work today - so I have time to pop up here and say a quick hello. Then I've got a stack of college work to be catching up with, I'd like to visit the gym and oh, I don't know what else - standard domestic drudgery I guess (washing up, laundry - what a thrilling way to spend a day off work!)

How are you? How's Kensington, and that pesky computer of yours - everyone/thing behaving themselves I hope! I have been the epitome of moderation recently - since I've been going to the gym again, I don't have the energy to drink! Got a little tipsy on Friday night down the pub, but nothing outrageous. And I was so tired when I fell in through the door, I didn't quite make it here to gibber in my usual half-cut fashion.

Hey Frizz. You don't have to feel obligated to make this board a part of your life. I know how tough it is to find the time when my work starts getting mentyal.

I haven't played The Sims yet, but I've heard lots of very funny stories about people putting toilets in the living room and wallpapering the outside of their house (and putting furniture out in the street). Sounds like fun.

Things are going fairly swimmingly at the mo'. Kensington's lounging in front of the TV, watching COPS (I'm telling you, I'm certain he's a guy), and I'm just sitting here surfin', waiting for something interesting to happen. My computer's behaving itself now since the guys in ITech fixed it.

I just finished playing Might & Magic VIII, which I had started playing immediately after completing Might & Magic VII. I think I'll take a wee break from RPG's before I start playing Ultima IX.

By the way, in case you're interested (which I'm pretty sure you aren't ), the Canucks are playing Detroit tonight. The Canucks are totally rocking right now. I wonder if they'll make the playoffs.

P.S. There's a website (www.mybc.com) that is full of local news for British Columbia. Is there a site like that for your neck of the woods?

No real local interest website for me - it's a bit of a technical and cultural backwater here. There isn't enough going on to merit such a site

Glad to hear Kensington is getting in touch with his inner masculinity whatever his gender (ooh - subconscious use of 'his' there - call myself a feminist!)

It's not obligation that keeps me popping up hear to say hello - it's guilt - no, I miss this place and don't like it when I get sidetracked and don't make it here. At least my phone bill is now vaguely reasonable.

I'm going through a bit of a detox at the moment (not really intentionally at first) and have now done 2 days without caffeine and alcohol!! Back at work today though, so I guess the vodka for breakfast (with triple espresso chaser) will break my fast. Needs must!

Sorry to hear about your recent adventures in detoxification. I kind of miss those fascinating conversations when it was 3am in the UK and you'd had a few (hee hee, marzipan gin was thus born ). Those were the days, were they not?

Kensington was quite upset about the Canucks losing last night. He fears that their hopes of making the playoffs may now have been quashed, "like a tender digestive biscuit beneath the jackboots of someone who didn't notice it sitting there", as he so eloquently puts it. By the way, I didn't know you were a feminist. Do you call yourself a feminist?

I'm a bit surprised you didn't tell me to "shut up" when I made a reference to your accidental mispelling of "mental".

How's things at the museum these days?

I'm sure my intoxicating ramblings shall return pretty soon - these holier-than-thou kicks only last a few days before the cravings become too much. I also miss me being drunk.

Work is pretty good at the moment - nothing too hectic, but loads of catching up on all the stuff we ignored over the last year. Got to meet Prince Charles the other week, as he visited the boat gallery. How about that, eh? Hobnobbing with royalty I can just tell how jealous you are!

Sorry to hear about the Canucks - very eloquent, that weevil of yours.

And anyway, me tell you to shut up? I don't know what you're talking about - would I use such an abusive phrase - even if you were mercilessly persecuting me for the simple mistake of a young girl (**quickly proof-reads response to avoid humiliating put-downs from the evil Nick O'Teen**)

Well. Prince Charles. Aren't we all hoity-toity now. Next thing I know you'll be munching on crumpets and sipping tea with the Queen Mum, herself. Did he talk to you about arches?

Canucks play again tonight against Nashville. They should be able to clobber Nashville, and they'd better; the Canucks have only five games left before the playoffs, and if they want to BE in the playoffs, they now have to win all five of them. Gee, just like last year and the three years before that. Sadly, I fear that history shall repeat itself once again. Hope for the best, expect the worst.

I'M mercilessly persecuting you? You just called me evil, for god's sake.

I only called you evil after you ably demonstrated your evilness by mercilessly persecuting me etc. etc. Although I'm sure your friends think you are a top type of guy and a real groovy chap, I can only judge on the evidence before me in type - and you have a mean streak, Mr O'Teen. Your insistence on proper spelling and grammar verges on the fiendish. I mean, how am I suppose to be able to get everything 100 percent correct, when the chances are I have had perahps the odd drink or two - that is just demanding too much

(OK, granted, most of my recent error-ridden replies have been written bright and early in the morning after a frighteningly sober night - but how do you know that?) You can make a woman paranoid about things.

ANYWAY - winnning the next 5 games - that's a tricky spot to be in.. When's the kick-off? (or whatever - we don't really have a lot of ice hockey in Kent - we don't have much of anything really - fields, yes -field hockey, no) - bully-off (surely it can't be puck-off, that would be far too juvenile)

'perahps' - an odd drink

Actually, most of my friends think I'm a complete loony.

I don't see how you can interpret a friendly poke at an honest typo as "merciless persecution". To tell the truth, I guess perhaps I'm being a bit mischievous since I'm expecting you to overreact in an amusing way (like your last reply, which had me smiling all right ).

Actually, it's not a kick-off or a bully-off or even a puck-off. It's a face-off, and it starts at 5:00pm here (1:00am your time). I doubt BBC2 will be picking up that game, but maybe you can catch the highlights tomorrow on the web somewhere.

Or you could do something interesting instead.

So what was the score then? Did you get slaughtered?

Indeed I have an exciting day ahead of me - firstly i shall brave tyhe outdoors to buy a newspaper and then I shall do lots and lots and lots (etc.) of college work as I am now officially scarily behind with it. So it's 'Pull Your Socks Up, You Lazy Tart' Day chez Frizz. What joy and rapturous excitement!

Thankfully, today is also 'Go Get Some Caffeine in your System Girl' Day.

And how could your friends think you a loony? Surely you're perfectly sane and the deranged joker I converse with is just a net-based alter ego?

I am sorry to report that very little sock-pulling-up was done, and I never did get round to having that strong Italian I'd promised myself

Ok - so it's a bit slow but... 'mentyal' - a cross between mental and menial?

Oh, no. I'm much more loony with my friends than I am here. Aside from all the weevil business, I'm remarkably conservative on h2g2 (even the weevil stuff is pretty tame compared to the rediculously bizarre inside jokes and running gags I share with my close friends here.

This does not mean, of course, that I spend all day jumping about and gibbering like a madman.

Canucks lost that game 6-3 (dammit). However, they won the next game (on sunday) 3-2 against Chicago. Yay! They next face Los Angeles on wednesday. Only three games left and they pretty have to win all of them if they want to make the playoffs (dammit).

What's with the giving up of caffeine?

Despite my love of coffee, I find that too much coffee makes me cranky and frankly unpleasant - so every now and again I go for a few days without caffeine - which makes me downright evil, granted, - but is beneficial to body and mind in the long run. And it only involved 2 days of blistering headaches whilst the evil drug leaves the system.

As you probably have detected, I have been known to partake of potentially harmful quantities of booze - so to maintain some semblance of equilibrium, I try to abuse only one substance at a time. Currently fad is 'no caffeine' - and I'm doing very well. I lapsed a bit today howevcer - I was attending an assertiveness training course - and had two cups of tea - naughty.

Back on the water now.

And what's wrong with spending all day jumping about and gibbering like a madman?

After reading my last reply, I noticed I sound a bit puritanical. Poured myself a large gin and tonic to try and calm myself down. It does sound a bit stupid - giving up caffeine - but I'm not a health nut or anything - just a lardy old tart with a desire to shift a few pounds and look vaguely gorgeous (caffeine promotes cellulite).

If you manage to shift a few pounds, can I have them?

Actually, why not drink herbal tea? Sure, they taste like the bottom of a ditch, but there's no caffeine in them. Can't say what they put in it to make it smell so good, though.

It's all those herbs

Possibly. But then, it might be like potpourri, where they take a bunch of dried weeds and mulch and spray them with a chemical that's been scientifically engineered to smell like birch trees and cause cancer, or something. Ever notice that, no matter what the scent of the potpourri, it's always made up of the same dried weeds and mulch?

Perhaps herbal tea is like that as well. Maybe they take the same herbs, combine them with mud, and then spray them with a chemical cocktail engineered to give off the scent of strawberries when it comes in contact with hot liquids.

Kensington says he doesn't like potpourri. He says that the strange chemicals taste terrible.

Some herbal teas do contain heaps of flavouring that makes them smell so sweet (but not taste the same, strangely). But others are more 'pure' and are made purely from what they are supposed to be made of - these are the ones that taste really like cardboard.

Personally I find pot pourri a bit crunchy for my taste.


How's things with you these days? Work treating you well, I hope?