h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

dumdedum!dumdedum!dumdedum!

I got a phone call earlier, from my best mate who's back in Margate, which was a relief & a source of great joy.
I ordered a left-handed 5-string acoustic bass a couple of weeks ago from a place in Germany, and it hadn't arrived before I headed over to the ancestral pile, which made me a little anxious. Today, it turned up! I'll be picking it up from her shop just as soon as I get back tomorrow.
It is my first acoustic bass, and my first 5-string. It can also be plugged into an amp for bizarre effects-laden obscenity (courtesy of my Zoom processor stompbox thingy).
It's like a second Christmas. I'm hardly going to be able to sleep tonight!
As far as I'm aware, Roymondo is still in the Thanetary System, so I'm hoping to rendezvous with him, abuse some Hobgoblins and get totally folked up!

oo!EE!oo!

Superb! "An acoustic bass is not just for Christmas; it's a f(r)iend for life!"

zdt

Folking hell! This is gonna be messy...

Is it safe in here now?

I just got back from LL's and his bass is bleedin' luvverly (though my little play on it was somewhat hampered by it being a southpaw bass and me not being a southpaw.)

Between the Dr Who & Life On Mars DVDs we even managed a little jam. Britney Spears's 'Hit Me Baby One More Time' to be specific.

Hey ho.

You put jam on the bass..

What else could we do with it? We had to put it on the bass before it started to make the milk curdle.

Jam and milk on bass.. who would have trout it

We even plugged the bass into a tuna at one point. I know we were probably skateing around the issue.

You put your Dabs all over it?

Yeah, but it was speaking in cod English so we couldn't understand a word, and the translator was having a kip. Her brother wouldn't stop carping on though.

Did you slap the little sprat and tell him to stop floundering?

We tried, but he started to lob stereos* at us.


*OK, I admit that one's a tad tenuous.

*prods you with a tad pole*

Are you taking the sole out of the plaice?

I don't remember any of this...

I think it all happened behind your back...

That would explain that snuffling sound, as of a hedgehog in hotpants, and the mysterious & unexplained scorchmarks on the skirting board.

Ah, the scorchmarks. I was meaning to talk to you about those...

Probably best if you don't...
Besides, as one ages, life loses its mystique. Don't spoil it.