h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

quack!oof!eek!

How to take the shine right off...

I have a j*b, not the usual shape of the universe but we cope as best we can, with the Department of Waiting & Praying. It's alright. I quite like it.
Well, I did...
Until about 3am this morning, it was fine. I was cheerfully adjusted to my role as civil servant but a sudden realisation hit me with the wet slappiness of a sock full of spaghetti.

I'm a pen-pushing, regulation-enforcing, form-filling Vogon!

I also answer phone calls.

burp!tweak!squirt!

*puts in earplugs before the poetry starts*

In my capacity as Defender of the Public Purse & Pusher of the Public Pen, I have to listen to some bloke ranting because he has fewer leaflets than he would ideally like?
Apparently so...

Why would anybody want more leaflets?

Who reads them??

I dunno, some bloke called Norman...*
He was getting quite het up about it too.








*Name changed to protect the dumb, in accordance with the D*ckhead Protection Act

The Ricardus Cranium Act only protects the thick


The idiots are at the other end

Liftliker mate, your soul is lost. Odd: I used to like your poetry, which is probably why I became a Vogon!