h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Where've you gone? I need you to come back and stop me swearing. Otherwise I might get into trouble with the funning moderators.

*Slaps hand over mouth*

See? I'm going to be in big funning trouble with that bunch of grots if they catch me slinging around a pack of meching swearwords. Mints - the lot of them, absolute mints.

*Puts hands over Footie's ears*

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry ... I've become a pottymouth

It's the new rule It just makes me want to swear the whole yupping time!

I was just chatting to Big Nige on the Squire Group and he said it would be an excellent idea to go over to The Forum and post 'bumflaps' on every thread.

And I was on the way over there when I remembered what you said about being easily led, So I thought I'd better check with you first

So ... *is* that the right spelling?

I've been here all along, but I've not been able to post.

Each of my posts had a bit of swearing in it.

It is.

*watches Trin's conversation list*

Right then! Here I go!

Bumflaps, bumflaps, bumflaps ...

Er ... this is the right thing to do, isn't it liege? I mean, some of those Forum people can be awfully sarcastic if you say the wrong thing

Would I lead you down the wrong path?

I'm God, I couldn't possibly endorse bad behaviour.

Now off you toddle. God's right behind you with a fudging barsteward.

Right. Yes. Of course.

Which way is it again? I can't seem to work out which munchin' way to go. I'm such a wacksplot.

*Slaps hand over mouth again*

I think if you take a left at Marmite Hill, follow the threads straight on, take the second left turn and you should arrive at the fridge.



Wrong map!

*Calls from the fridge* Too late - I'm there now!

Er ... want anything?

*Taps the lid of the Hendersons*

Er...no ta.

I'm not hungry.

()

Not hungry? That's not like Footie ... especially when there's Hendersons around. Maybe she ate earlier. But what? There's nothing arou...

*Slowly peers atticwards*

Flunking post.

They've not delivered your treats yet.

*removes sweet wrappers from hair*

Er, no. No they haven't.

Which is funny. Because I could have sworn I heard their lorry this morning. I could also have sworn I heard them unloading a *lot* of treats and carrying them up to the attic. Just as I could have sworn I heard the scratching of a pen as someone signed for them, followed by the pitterpat of feet as the same someone headed up to the attic, followed by much chomping and scattering of wrappers and cartons.

Ah well. Some sort of weird hallucination, brought on by over-consumption of ... well, not very much. Hmmmmm

Ah. No. No. That was all in your imagination.

Flarking drugged teabags, never work. Knew I should have opted for the sleeping tablets in pritt biscuits.

You're hungry?



Pritt biscuit?

Mmmmmmm. Pritt.



Just the one wouldn't have too much effect...

*munch*

Oo ... thanks! *munchmunch*

Mmmm - lovely!

*munch*



*munchdunkmunch*

*slurp*



*thud*



Think I'll sleep on the kitchen floor tonight, face down. First thing in the morning, I'm heading over to the Forum to say 'bumflaps'. But I'm going to need a bit of sleep first. Night night!

*pinches pritt biscuits back*

You've eaten them all?



*eats teabags*

Night!

*stops hiding*

Are you being hidded?

http://davidshrigley.com/photo_htmpgs/notice.html

Wow - that was a big hide

Two days - is that a record? I can't remember now. What we need is...

*Trips over Guinness Book of Hootoo Records*

Ah, yes.

Pfft! That's no record.

Bet I can do better!