h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ah, you're talking reality.

Be careful, we may lose our friend if we start down that road....

I am so sorry, but since the batteries ran down on my own personal time-travel machine, ... I'm stuck in this mundane world. Do you know just how trying it is to go year after year and not save one Vestal virgin from a seething volcano? It's very distressing.

Hmmm..problem that is.

Maybe we can tap our hero for some of his spares. A James Bond/Remo Williams figure like him probably has plenty to go round...

Now if only we can learn Sinanju...

I'm sure I've seen D-I-Y videos on Sinanju somewhere. Ya know, the secretive government agencies also have faced fiscal cut-backs ...

I can see Chiun advertising Wendy's on the back of his pyjamas...

Or maybe Vodafone or UPS?

Maybe that's how it is, our hero has to work for these folks part time due to cut backs...

For every hour spent toppling a supervillain he must spend one in the call centre. Darn!!!

Sounding far more like a punishment than a reward, isn't it?

I wonder what kind of budgets there are these days, for genuine-synthetic beards, mustaches, rubber-noses and spiked-heels. Do you suppose they get a limited credit line at Wal-Mart? And of course, the meal-vouchers redeemable at any McDonald's, ... after 10:30 pm.

Well, in the PI game, you have to be a master of disguise.

Ever get the feeling he watches too much TV?

Watches? I figured he wrote much of the stuff, and even performed the stunts. Between world-saving time-travel trips, of course.

I have an image of Hollywood writers sitting round brainstorming saying...

"We need an Alphaesque hero. A man who's modesty is legend and who has served in every war known to man. But he will never let on. Ever. Where can we find such a man?"

One guy pipes up..."A call centre in Liverpool, England...?"

And the legend begins...


Mind you, I am not surprised he is a hero...he's a celtic samurai ninja special forces PI manhunter warrior poet.

And don't you forget it!

How could I possible ever forget? I've had the description tattooed on my person. It hadda run up the back of one arm, across the shoulders and down the other arm. And his visage proudly filling my entire back. It was painful, but for such a hero, anything is truly worthy.

Odd though, the ink seems to have smudged. His facial features have taken on a blur and nothing what-so-ever is distinct ... Not even the gender.

Uncanny!

A case of (body) art imitating (sad) life...

Just a quick one as I have darted back to sort out the washer...

My buddy sent the stuff over at stupid o'clock this morning, so I have not had a chance to go through it yet. I'll sort it later for you...

Have a good one, mon ami.

It's gonna be a cold one. The day is starting at -11C with wind chill factoring it to about -25C.

I look forward to any interesting stuff, even at 0:dark:thirty.

Today, the sun is shining over beautiful middle England, while the poor lads and lasses in Wales, Scotland and the South West are coming under rapid snowflake bombardment.

We have the second exercise this weekend, but I am not running this one thankfully. They may need snow shovels for this time...

-25C is just very very wrong.

Just had a look at said stuff. Will complete my persual and fire it over later.

Indeed, -25C IS very wrong, ... for so early in the season. January and February, perhaps.

And yes, a friend in Cardiff left word that a lot of the white stuff was trying to accumulate just before she finished her shift this morning. Being a polite gentleman, I did offer a hot breakfast, and a wood-fire to evict the chills. But she figured the extra driving may not be practical, especially as her car doesn't do well in oceans.

There's no pleasing some folk...

Maybe she needs one of those 003 and a half cars that can operate underwater. Like in "The Spy Who Lied To Me"...

Are those the ones that have the two huge parallel silver bars on them? Kinda looking like US rank insignia? Pretty machines, if you can get one.

That's them!!

Wouldn't fool anyone except the truly gullible.

Or those who have the loveliest rose-tinted lenses, perhaps?