h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm sorry, my name is Michael. For some reason males usually call me Mick, but females usually call me Mike (why is that?). I not fussed about what they coose to call me anyway.
If you do want to get away it probably shows and the kids will pick up that your not exactly happy. It may not be AS easy to leave because of the kids, but it's possible and if you're unhappy it might be the best thing to do. Staying in a relationship that festers like a rotting corpse sucks. I stuck it out once until, thank goodness, she had the good sense to bring it to an end. I'm not telling you to leave, because I don't knoe the situation, but I do want you to be happy.

I just stumbled upon a message from you to another correspondent of mine, and I'm in a bit of a rage! Some bloke named Ali seems to have assaulted you to the point where you need physiotherapy. If I am required to traverse over there and kick the living suitcase out of him, so be it. How dare he lay a hand on you. I'll tip the mother upside-down and shake the loose change out of his pockets. I can't express my anger.
While I'm on here though, how's my baby? Beautiful as ever no doubt. By the way, you said "Nah im not pretty just average n your miles away so it dont matter if i was pretty". That's probably not true, I bet you're as cute as they come. So I'm miles away, start bloody swimmin'. Hope to hear from you soon, and I really care about your wellbeing - please don't allow some a**ehole to knock you about. Your better than that. All my love.

I dont know wot your on about hun,no1 on here as ever hit me or anythin n i dont know any1 called ali,where does it say all this??
Well i hope you are ok n we'll talk soon

I just sent you a message before I noticed yours to me. Not sure where I saw it, perhaps it was someone who was interrupting your conversation and I got confused. I'm glad it wasn't you. So have you taken any action to leave your boyfriend yet? Get on with it, I can't wait around forever!

Pls remember where u saw it!!

Oh ur waitin for me are ya..

I'll try to find it again if I can. And yes, I am waiting for you. I'll wait for as long as it takes to really make you "my" sweet'n'petite. U fortunately this is the best I can do for now.
Hope they landed in all the right places.

Been looking around trying to find where I saw that message, but I can't locate it. Anyway if it wasn't you, everything's OK. Sorry for the confusion but I just saw red. There is one other girl that I will contact when I can and ask if it was her that was being knocked around. I hope not, because it was obviously a decent sort of a touch-up that this bottom feeder handed out. Hope the kids aren't driving you mad. Don't crack yet, stay sane until at least the last few days of the holidays. Hope to hear from you soon sweetie.

So how are ya gonna make me 'yours' then? i need a nice bloke in my life who wouldnt let me down but i guess no1 like that exsists!
Whos the other girl u need to contact cos i know sum1 who was with a bloke called ali..
Oh n the kids are fine so far..
talk soon

I exist. I'm a nice bloke. I wouldn't let you down - and how I make you "mine" would require your e-mail address (lest the moderators boot me off here!). The girl your thinking of is the same one I was talking about (I've got her e-mail so they can't stop us now!). I haven't asked her yet though, it's not the sort of thing you bring up willy-nilly (don't want to spoil our fun, do I). Glad to hear the kids are fine, sorry to hear the kids aren't mine! Love you later.

You gimme your email addy then il mail ya,not puttin my addy on ere..
Is the girl ur on about nats??
Anyway hope to chat soon t/c

I asked the person in question, whom I won't name. Sorry to say it was her who got hurt. Let me work out if there is another way to get my addy to you, I'll think about it and get back to you tonight (my time).

OK Trace, my sweet'n' oh so petite, here it is [email protected] look forward to hearing from you.

Hiya
Sorry i aint been in touch,been busy with the kids n other stuff.hope ur ok anyway?
Talk soon

So what stuff you been busy with? Those kids bullying you around on the holidays I suppose. Left e-mail address for you, I'll go check if you used it. I'm guessing no.

Iv just been job huntin n takin the kids out really..
Sorry iv not emailed ya,iv been told i talk like im desperate so thought i best not mail ya
Hope ya ok?

Why don't you mail me and let me decide what you talk like.

I might do next week,dont wanna appear desperate cos im not..
So howz you??

Desperate! No,I'm good Trace, but I don't wanna wait for you until next weekend, how about this one? It's my birthday Sunday, so how about a nice surprise, something sweet'n'petite perhaps. I promise not to mistake it for deperation, so how 'bout a little lovin' for my birthday?

My birthday has come and gone, and still no lovin' from my sweet and petite Trace. I suppose my tears will dry - one day. You left that bum yet Trace, cos I'm startin' to feel the need to see other people! Just joking baby, I'll wait. Put these where they do the most good

Sorry but i cant get on at weekends i hope u had a nice birthday anyway!
I can talk more now the hols are over talk soon hun