h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello,
can you plze hlp me, i will wok 4 u do anyithing if u pay me plze hlp I will do any work u have for u

**creeps round and peers in window**

RF

*hides a video camera behind a potted plant

"What's that, officer? No, just passing by. Mot loitering or anything...the axe? Well, I'm just on my way to meet tree fellers."

RF

*attachs a tap to the phoneline Oh hello officer, yes, thats right, I'm from British Telecom, Oh, my ID, hang on let me see.... Oh hold on there a moment it must be in my van, I'll go get it... yes I know my van isn't parked on this road, I put it round the corner, now just wait there a moment

*Foot1 Spy Satellite makes pinging noises, many, many miles overhead*

*ping*

**sneaks in and places webcams all round the place. Sneaks out**

RF

Urgh! whats that?.....

*after having broken in to next doors house stands at FBs wall with a 'listneing device attached and listens in, watching symultainious webcam broadcasts from inside the FB lair* ooo, I never!

** Gets heavy-duty lifting equipemnt and uproots Footbacon's house and moves it to a studio set, like in The Truman Show, so we can spy on Footbacon all the time **

RF

*wonders where footbacons house has gone

oooh, a sailing boat, might go for a row

<stalk

Eastenders is on.

RF

is it? Question time is on *has a look in on Footbacon have you seen what she's wearing?!

No, what is she wearing?

Have a look!
*hands over the PDA wirelessly linked to the multiple webcams in FBs house*

Bloody Nora!

Oi, don't look too hard, it might effect your eyesight!

*flips a switch on the laptop connected to the sound taps in FBs house* Aww what an awful racket! *turns the speaker volume down and sneaks a quick look back on the picture from the PDA *sets the laptop to show split screen of four of the webcams