Journal Entries

KAT Leaving

So in the end it couldn't go on forever. My absences have gotten longer and longer and finally I'm throwing the towel in. I'm leaving h2 and all of my duties here. This decision is a tough one, and I enjoyed having the prospect of h2 to come back to, however it's become increasingly obvious that I'm unlikely to be back.

Thank you to everyone who has helped me and who has befriended me over the years.

If anyone wants to be in touch or wants further information, or has randomly deleted my email address:

[email protected]

Thanks for everything guys

Kat

Discuss this Journal entry [18]

Latest reply: Feb 9, 2006

KAT's Absence

Thank you to all the lovely people who emailed me. Sorry I never replied. I thought I would let everyone know what's going on here.

A few things:

I haven't been very well for quite a long time, and so getting everything in RL done has been my very very main priority. It hasn't just been h2 that's been neglected I promise, lots and lots of other things have as well.

I've been extra special (like properly in bed groaning) ill this past week or so, meaning I haven't done anything at all! No school, no work, no Christmas present buying (smiley - yikes), no nothing.

I'm still rather ill and not up to much. I'm going back to work tomorrow because it's the last weekend before Christmas and I'm nice like that. No school though.

So I'll be back around soon I promise. I haven't forgotten anyone, and I miss hearing about what everyone's up to. Hopefully I'll get my act together very soon and be back among you smiley - ok

Kat

Discuss this Journal entry [33]

Latest reply: Dec 15, 2005

KAT's Falling Apart

Gosh I'm doing a lot of journal entries recently! I blame all this school stuff!

Anyway, this is sort of about school anyway.
I'm not being very effective on H2G2 at the moment, and am missing from a lot of areas. This is because, as everyone could have easily predicted, the initial euphoria of going to school quickly wore off and I've been fighting a downward spiral for a while now and it's getting to the point where going to school and work is a huge mountain that I have to climb every single day.

I wake up and have two minutes where I feel okay, and then I feel as if I'm stuck to the sheets and haven't got the strength to get off them; and I feel so heavy that I might fall through the floor.

The first thing I am doing when I finally get out of bed is drinking half a tumbler full of port. This is having less and less effect, which is worrying me.

By the time I have got to school it's as if I had 30mins sleep the night before, however well I actually slept. It means I can't concentrate through the day and feel completely bewildered and on the edge of crying all the time, and very panicky.

When I get home I fall into bed, drink another half tumbler of port and don't move for at least an hour. I don't have the strength to read or do homework or anything.

I then get round to doing a bit of homework, whilst sipping on a glass of drink. If I have work, I then get back into bed until the last possible moment and then rush madly round changing clothes etc before going to work and being very dopey and making loads of mistakes and walking into things but having a very bright and cheery manner.

When I get back...straight back into bed before dragging myself round to swivel into my desk chair, keeping my legs in bed, so I can do a bit of homework and get on the net for a short while.

I then go back to bed.

It's not looking...good and I've got two more years of this and a music theory exam in two days and a wine exam in a fortnight and smiley - wah

smiley - run but in very very slow motion and only the very short distance back to bed.

Apologies to all those people who have lots of problems right now. I do recognise that I actually have nothing to be depressed about. Sorry.

Kat

Discuss this Journal entry [101]

Latest reply: Oct 31, 2005

KAT's New Project!

Okay so y'all listen up!!!

Are you under 18? Do you like to think you're under 18?

The Young Researchers' Club has been RELAUNCHED!

A983171

Go take a look. Even if you aren't under 18 go and check that I've remembered everything etc. Besides it's MY project, don't you want to see!? smiley - winkeye

Everyone who is under 18 and on my friends list, and I do know who you are smiley - bigeyes Go have a poke and join yeah? I know there's nothing happening right now and no conversation threads but I need to grab a few people to actually talk about something first!!!

Go on! You know it makes sense!

That was A983171

Kat

Discuss this Journal entry [49]

Latest reply: Oct 20, 2005

KAT's School Progress Checks

Yes! Indeed! We have progress checks at school very soon, just as I start to go off the rails again and mess around smiley - erm

So picture these few scenes...

Today I ran out of English half-way through, due to...well I'm not entirely sure but it had something to do with being incrediably scared and everyone knowing everything about me and "it" (not sure what) was all my fault and I felt guilty. So already there my english teacher Miss F is going to be thinking I'm a problem...

I skipped Geography straight after that as I was still sitting in the park on a swing trying to get a grip whilst not looking like a chav in a kids' park.

I went to Maths however! And asked questions and requested to go over previous lessons' work and have done extra homework, so I reckon that one is okay.

I then come trotting home, collapse in bed and fall asleep only to be woken up an hour later to go to see the psych.

I then proceed to frustrate the psych so much she almost throws the nearest thing at me (a box of tissues) and bangs her head on the wall asking why on earth I'm at school when it's obvious that if I keep going like this I'm going to end up in hospital and do I just expect her to sit back and watch, and I shouldn't be in school and she did warn me. It was all rather embarrassing...especially because I have the very unsneaking suspicion that she is, in fact, correct. In fact I have the suspicion she is so correct that I'm starting to panic about it. Plus it's coming up to half term which is when I was chucked out of school...and I'm already running out of classes!

So I get home, feeling a bit...worried...to find the girlfriend complaining that she doesn't feel anything and everything is just a boring grind and she wants something to care and worry and stress over. I get a bit hacked off and yell that perhaps she should start with her girlfriend who has been suicidal for weeks, is struggling not to drink and take codeine every day, is sleeping 3 hours a night, and is generally in a bit of a bad state. She said that she does care but if I'm always going to be like this regardless of what she does then is there any point? I then COMPLETELY blow my top and ask if that's how she feels how does she think I feel having to live with that every single day? and promptly...go back to bed.

Now I'm in bed still, trying to figure out an entire geography project for an town that I don't know very well (at least the residential bits) that needs to be outlined and sent to the exam board for approval...TOMORROW!

Sorry I just needed to vent and make sure that people didnt keep saying "Homework and work! You've come such a long way and you're doing so well!" I may be doing things I wouldn't have done a year ago...but I certainly haven't come a long way because I'm acting in EXACTLY the same way I did two years ago...which is going forward.

Kat

Discuss this Journal entry [38]

Latest reply: Oct 12, 2005


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