h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Thing is I am quite sick of going through the events of what has happened that I just want to put that to the past and just deal with how i feel about males now

More than understandable....just hope you are not trying to bury something that will forever have an affect on all your relationships.

So how do think you feel about males now?

ok like I said they are fine to talk to but I don't want anything at all to do with them except just to talk

Then just talk....whats the problem
Is it an aversion to sex or an aversion to the distinct possibility that that is all a lot , if not all, boys think about?

well sex is definitely not what i want at all until i am married but all the guys around me want one thing it seems ... whereas i'd just rather cuddle up to, confide and kiss one guy

I can understand the difficulty.

You are going to have to be patient though, you probably will not be able to just walk into a relationship with a guy where you can just cuddle , kiss and talk. You will have to spend a fair bit of time talking only to get to know someone...and perhaps more importantly for you...for them to get to know you.

The average guy could well take a kiss and a cuddle as a sign of wanting more...you are going to have to learn to deal with that. It is just the world we live in, and don't for one minute think it is some new phenomena that affects your generation...it has always been like that to varying degrees.

One bit of advice i think i should give you is ...forget about trying to meet anyone on the net...that really is not the way, you must meet people face to face so that you can judge them wholly...their eyes, expressions, mannerisms, courtesy, everything...and also of course be able to judge with all od your senses as opposed to just what eyes see here.

And another thing...don't try and push these things...go with the flow and let it happen. There is a special guy for you and your path will lead you to him and him to you when the time is right. Enjoy your time as a young lady going out into the world, don't stress on it, it will only detract from your enjoyment.

Firstly thankyou for your advice ... I do tend to jump into relationships except for my last one

I think that you are right about getting to know someone first before dating them etc and I should take things very slowly .... I keep thinking that I need to see a councellor and this has been further emphasized by my mum.

I think its much nicer to meet people in life rather than the net ... this goes for just meeting them too. I also wish to get more friends around me but I always end up dating someone instead of furthering my circle of friends oops. Furthermore, when i go in for relationships i tendto drop all my hobbies and devote my time to them!

As for pushing things I think I must be guilty to some extent o doing that. I guess maybe I am a bit too eager to make things happen. I wish I could relax and go with the flow but I always seem to be on edge and jump from one thing to another leaping mostly without looking before hand.

No problems...only a pleasure...hope i helped a little bit.

Thanks I have been talking to Buttons about this too I told her that I read back in my diary arouind the time it happened and i really didn't care at all for myself... according to those around me i also need assertive classes and self esteem ones .... who knows what will happen to me next if i don't take control of my life and feel 100% confident in myself all the time

You don't have to be 100% confident of yourself all the time....who told you that....most people, if not all, who are 100% confident of them selves all the time are in all likelyhood fools and buffoons.

You are in control of your life.

nobody told me I need to be 100% confident in myself it just seems that when you don't put that message across that people want to make you feel even worse

I maybe in control of my life at uni to some extent and here but I am not proud of myself oh I could rant on but I think I shall stop.

I know I have problems but there's so many people out there who have so many more and even worse problems than myself.

Just a thought what if I have met my match I have just gone and screwed things up and now I'm never going to have him

In all likelihood that is extremely unlikely...however if you have then you are going to have to be philosophical about it.

Understand that there are plenty of fish in the sea and learn from your mistakes so that you know better next time how to handle yourself.

Fact is, if that was the one...which i am afraid i doubt..then once you have learnt the lesson that you need to learn you will probably get another shot anyway....things have a funny way of working out.

why do you doubt it?

I don't want any other fish I want the one I had!

I doubt it because if he was the one..he would still be around....difficult to say though really ..not knowing what happened.

How badly did you screw up?

ok the guy i am talking about still wants to be my friend ... as soon as I went on msn the other day after having one day break from talking to me he was quick to start a conversation with me.

If I was him I would rightly have nothing to do with me as I screwed up big time! I got turned on by someone at a club which resulted in me kissing him no more, then there were other guys who tried it on with me and they ended up being kissed! and then a guy turned up uninvited from the net! no wonder my ex dumped me he had every right to. I don't blame him at all its all my fault I know I would do anything to erase what happened and everyday i beast myself up over it. My family know that i feel bad and everyone else who knows me.

Just trying to get things clear here in my mind optical...you are at university ...right?
What are you studying? if i may ask
I know it is irrelevant to our thread here but humour me please.

I'm sorry am I boring you to death?? I hope not..

I am at uni studying media, english and womens studies I wonder if women's studies will turn me completely against males?

No you are not boring me.

I am just beginning to wonder why you are stressing so much...is it the boys you are cross with or yourself for kissing them.

I am annoyed at myself for kissing those guys my ex means more to me than any other guy i know