h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've recently become distracted by the banner ads at the top of my Alabaster pages - these replace the cycling fish, of course. I'm guessing they're fairly new, as I don't remember seeing them before - but I can't say exactly when they started.

Those of you who use Pliny (yes, both of you) will have been seeing these for a while. Those of you with ad blockers may not be seeing ads at all. They don't bother me, particularly, and I hope they accrue some revenue for the site.

Anyway, I'm interested in whether they are tailored to my internet browsing habits, so I thought I'd log the first ten I've seen today. (I haven't seen any for Russian Brides yet, thank goodness). If you want to join in and log the ads you're seeing, then be my guest.

I'll add asterisks for the more embarrassing ones.

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BP - 'Help your car run like clockwork with our best ever fuel for cleaning engines'

'You may be entitled to #379 off your Gas & Electricity Bills'

Harry's razors - 'Handsomer, sharperer, less expensiver'

'Learn how to get real, targeted Instagram followers'

'Create real-time Excel dashboards with Klipfolio'

'Drink this every day and you'll need smaller clothes' *

'Convert Docs online'

'Switch to Google Chrome for a better browsing experience'

Ultra Sabers - the combat lightsabers specialists' ***

L'Occitane En Provence - New limited edition fragrance 'Roses et Reines en Rouge' *

Yes, I checked with Brian - it's a good way to get a little revenue. I said, great, now h2g2 can benefit while I'm working on .

I'm a bit alarmed, it knows where I live...it assures me that people in my town are shocked, shocked, mind you, at this simple way to beat high mortgage costs...

Right now, it's trying to sell me Lancome beauty products. Go figure.

Luckily, or not, I'm using such an anchient computer, web brouser, opperating system, and screen-reader, that if there are any Adds at the top of the page, they're somewhere in the garbled mix of random letters and computer code.... stuff I guess this anchient setup can't 'rednder ' properly, and/or the screen reader can't 'read' so I miss thier pearls of wisdom and thoughts on my preferences and interests I get some weird talored adds on FB though they just seem so random so much for all the wizo geeks and their wonderous mathmatical calculation of our ... 'target audience' etc I confuse the eck out of Amazon too, judging by some of the stranger suggestions.... it still seems to think I'm a mother with children

I just noticed I hadn't excluded h2g2 from my ad blocker. I fixed that.

The first ad I got was for Dell. That's probably completely random. Targeted ads for me would feature camera parts & photo supplies, drones, kites, and lately, sinus medications.

The sinus medications seem increasingly pointless as the best thing I've found so far to relieve some of this massive sinus pressure for me is spicy Thai and Indian cuisine.

I'm getting more and more tempted to just snort some cayenne pepper, seriously.

Never. ever. ever. never, ever, snort iceing sugar. seriously... don't do it... - I do stuff like that, just to prevent other people having to findout - curry I think cures most diseases.... - trust me... I'm a scientist

If you want to clear your sinuses, I recommend Vocalzone lozenges. They're guaranteed to purge the airways of a charging rhino at 50 paces (or something, I forget the exact claim)

Seriously, they're good. I'm sure you can get them online.

The celebrity endorsements on their website are certainly worth a read.

I'm not sure what "icing sugar" is, but I suspect it is the opposite of cayenne pepper.


P.S. I looked it up. We call it powdered sugar.

I think Hollywood uses powdered milk as prop cocaine in the movies. I'm sure someone on a low-budget film found out the hard way that powdered sugar is a poor substitute.

Those Vocalzone lozenges seem more tailored for the throat and chest. My problems are way up in my skull right behind my right eye.

Another option I'm considering is mixing some Coleman's mustard powder with malt vinegar. That's great at emptying one's skull.

That's great at emptying one's skull What everything?

Anyone that's had Coleman's mustard will agree that's what it feels like when you get too much. Mixing it with malt vinegar instead of water or beer will turbocharge the effect.

I don't have any Coleman's mustard powder at home, but I think I might have a small jar of the premixed stuff and a bottle of Sarson's malt vinegar. Half a teaspoon mixed should be more than enough.

BG, if you can find Dusseldorf mustard (and in Texas, maybe you can), I recommend it. Eat it on egg roll: it will open your sinuses.

There's also this stuff, I forget what it's called. I call it the nuclear option. It's a fizzy tablet that comes with a styrofoam cup with a lid with a hole in it. You dissolve the tablet in very hot water and inhale.

This, too, will do a job on the sinuses.

If ou can find, a useually old lady, near you, who makes her own horseraddish sauce; that oughta do the job... seriously underrated stuff for clearing out the sinuses .... (err, assuming it exists over there!)

colemans powdered mustard is great, I mix it up withwater to make decent strong mustard for and - also works great put into things like omelettes, etc or in dark meat stews, like beef etc or chilli... or... err.. most things but only useually in pretty small quantities damn I love spicey food

Several years ago BP in the US changed its name to 'Beyond Petroleum' I am not sure if it was an effort to remove its image a British Corporation, or to make it sound more eco - friendly. That was about the time they slipped from my preferred list of petrol stations, I like honesty.

F S

I have also noticed I am getting the dreaded ERROR 502 when trying to post. This may, or may not, effect the message actually being posted. Be ready for

F S

Ooh yes - fish on bicycle is superimposed by glaring ads in Goo, too.

I've had O2 and Telekom so far.

I've had Sky, Nationwide, Experian, Adobe Creative Cloud, Crucial PC and Heart Bingo – plus I'm asked to log in each time I try to post something.

<BB<

They're definitely targeted by location if not personally targeted.

I just got one for Pier 21, a tourist center on Galveston Island, and now I'm seeing one for Rockport, a town further down the coast.

Today's selection

Beloved adults-only holidays ***
Teamsport - Go Karting in Farnborough
Experian - Get your credit score
Unibet in-play bet club
Budget car hire
Expedia holidays
Ultimate Finance - get the cash your business needs today
Exclusive roles in {PH_0} for Non Executive Directors

(I'm guessing that last one tried to insert my location into {PH_0} but failed.)

Wayne Newton will be performing at the Golden Nugget casino in Lake Charles, Louisiana August 18th.
Keith Sweat will be there August 26th.

Ah... And there are the BH photography equipment ads I expected to see.