Message from a Mugwump


My nickname reflects the fact that I have reached the age where mental decrepitude is setting in and the name or word I am searching for is all too often obscured by a purple-grey mental fog.

OK, let's admit it. I'm a doddering old curmudgeon with one foot in the grave. (That's the one supporting the crumbled hip which is in urgent need of a bionic replacement).

Appropriately, I'm not hip enough for any progressive jazz fans. I'm still floundering about in the mainstream. Like a cat in a small room, if it don't swing, it don't mean a thing, and making noises
like angry bluebottles should be left to angry bluebottles.

In a lot of areas, I'm agnostic - a mugwump, with my mug on one side of the fence and my wump on the other. But not doubt there will be areas where I can express my prejudices and clash against yours. If they do, don't take me too seriously - life's too short.

Of course, sometimes, life's a bitch, as indicated below:

When you're hanging on to the mountain side
And your nose gets a terrible itch,
That's the time you know for sure
That life's a bitch

When Ludwig lost his hearing
When the good Lord struck him deaf
He shouted the same word seventeen times
And the word began with F

"Life's a bitch", screamed Ludwig
"Ill drown me sorrows in wine".
Then he dipped his quill in a bottle of hock
And wrote Symphony Number Nine.

Now poets can see what other men can't
(They pronounce the word 'wind' wined
But Milton whined that he nought could see
When the good Lord struck him blind

"Life's a bitch", quoth Milton,
"Now pleasures have I none.
When a man can't see what he's given for tea,
Oh, where has paradise gone ?"

"Life's a bitch", said Boney.
"It really isn't nice
When you've marched to the gates of Moscow
And the Lord sends snow and ice."

"We've got frostbite in our noses
And chilblains on our feet
And yet despite the frostbite
I still can smell defeat."

These three, dogged by misfortune
Said, "Life's a bitch I'm sure.
It will bite you on the ankle,
Be you rich or poor."

I'll never be great or noble
I'll never be grand or rich
But I have to agree with the famous three -
Life, my friends, is a bitch.

(Ray Warrington, 1993) aka Al Symer


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Al Symer

Researcher U222175

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