h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm expecting a windchill factor of -13 tomorrow, so I'm thinking of some good reasons to skive work. Also, it's in relation to your dissucion about foreign shops. C&A's have left the mainland UK market and opened branches on all UK oversea's land. So if you ever want to get those lovely tops with the black and grey stripes, you have to go all the way to Gabraltor and failing that the Falklands!!!

Hi Admiral,

I'm not really in the market for a black and grey top but I'll bear it in mind. Maybe az would pop down to Gibraltar and do your shopping...

On the other hand ... where were we discussing foreign shops? Must have been az on another thread. Why wasn't I invited? I've been to Macy's and I've spent thousands of Lira in Verona - -buying a pencil.

Windchill is probably not an adequate reason to skive off work. Unless you're a professional sunbather or possibly a window-cleaner. Ice or deep snow on the other hand may be a good enough reason. Especially if you live in an isolated cottage in the Hebrides. Skiving per se however won't earn you any respect. You need a proper EXCUSE. Your voluntary work for Amnesty International required you to visit Somalia at short notice perhaps; or, due to the cold weather, you've been out all night distributing blankets and flasks of tea to the needy.

F

morning Fathom,

C&A? There is one here but I never go in.

Everytime I walk into my living room I keep being shocked at how tidy my bookshelves are . I *almost* got down to some serious filing yesterday but then thought better of it. Went to the cinema instead to see Goodbye Lenin. It was very good but reading subtitles in Spanish is always a bit of a challenge.

How are you today?

az

Have you seen the prices of newspapers in Turkey, they cost millions of lira for one!!!

As for skiving, I'll try the olde elderly relative funeral trick then contract a cold because I've been standing outide in a graveyard for a few days. I know it's a sadist excuse, but it's really nippy out there!!!

Hi az,

Fine today, thanks. How about you?

Thanks for the just what I needed.

Goodbye Lenin? Is that in Russian? A Russian movie translated via Spanish subtitles into English in your head? Amazing!

You can't beat a tidy bookshelf. A good challenge is to make a note in your diary then, as soon as you notice they've got untidy again, see how long that took. Forty-five minutes is my personal best.


Admiral, you can't keep burying those elderly relatives. No-one has fourteen grandmothers. Someone at work will ask you why they keep digging them up again. Tell them you caught SARS from a chicken in lemon sauce with fried rice (and prawn crackers). It's perfectly plausible so no-one will suspect anything. Unless they know you always eat boiled rice.

F

Fathom,

German film with Spanish subtitles. I *cannot* abide dubbed films at all, I'd rather struggle with Spanish subtitles. But no, I don't usually translate Spanish into English, it just takes me longer to read Spanish and understand it.

az

Of course; you think in Spanish as well as English.

I get confused thinking in one language, never mind two.

Perhaps somewhere we have a sort of internal language that we translate everything into so we can understand it. Maybe that explains how animals are able to reason without language. A bit like compiling a computer program from Basic into the machine code the processor uses.

Personally I prefer dubbed films to subtitles because I can't watch the action if I'm reading the words. Maybe it's a male thing.

F

Ever heard Woody Allen, de Niro, Pacino, et al dubbed into Spanish? It's horrific. Most dubbing sounds fake and flat. After all, actors act with their voices as well, not just with their faces. But I shan't rant on about that! Except to ask - whaddaya mean you can't read *and* watch the action at the same time?

I try to think in Spanish rather than translate. Though, to be honest, my level of Spanish is quite pathetic for the number of years I've lived here. One of my new year's resolutions is to finally study Spanish. Which I will start doing . . . any day now!



az

No it's universal, I once watched an English film with Korean subtitles. It was extremly annoying!!!

"whaddaya mean you can't read *and* watch the action at the same time?"

I can't - men can only focus on one task at a time I suppose. When you're reading the subtitles your peripheral vision is still providing all the information from the film. When I'm reading the subtitles my peripheral vision is watching for sabre toothed tigers; not a common occurrence in our living room.

In any case my wife gets fed up with me running my finger along the lines of text on the screen whilst mouthing the words...

You are right that dubbing takes the character out of the voices and a Clint Eastwood movie I watched on holiday dubbed into Italian was just bizarre. Clint's dubbed voice was really effeminate so the whole thing was so horrible you couldn't look away; like an impending train crash would be.


The Admiral has just gone up in my estimation if she reads Korean.

i have to say I do like to turn on the teletext subtitles when watching music shows like 'Top of the Pops' or 'Stars in Their Eyes' because you can read the lyrics. It clears up some mysterious diction sometimes. "Try to catch italians in a paper cup..."

F

Have you tried it for rap songs, do the words estimate the actual lyrics or is it word for word and the teletext just changes so quickly that you can't read it!!!

I haven't. But I will next time I get the chance. I have an image of the screen being completely full of text so you can't see the picture.

F

buenos días Fathom,

How are you? Found a religion yet?

I woke up at 6am to the sound of a torrential downpour. And now it is all bright and shiny outside. And for some reason I just feel really really good.

Aren't happy people kind of annoying and boring?

az

Moshi moshi guys, it's a absolutly freezing over here, I don't mean 0K but close enough. There is a wind chill factor of -13 and were out of tea, someone must attempt to get some before it's too late!!!

Good Morning az,



"Religion is the opiate of the masses" and I'm still looking for a 'dealer' I can trust. I thought it might be an interesting concept; if I wanted to be religious what religion would be best.

Damn cold here this morning and the bright sunny sky is giving way to clouds with a hint of sleety-snow. On the whole not snowy enough to be nice and not bright and crisp either. We seem to be in an isolated patch because there is snow all round us and getting deeper. I'm glad I stocked up on all those tins of soup.

The period just after heavy rain always makes me feel fresh and energised. Something to do with negative ions in the air I think. A bit like stepping out of the shower but without all the towels.

'Happy people are Smartie (TM) people, they smile all the time because they're feeling fine.' TV advert for Smarties from about 1985. Not annoying or boring at all.

For the Admiral:

F

What part of England do you live in, Fathom? You may have told me before but, if so, I have obviously forgotten. (I blame old age and rioja)

Yes, it was an interesting concept to put forth on that thread. Most people tend to fall into religions as a result of upbringing and/or personal need. But really, if one doesn't have a need for religion, then how could they possibly be convinced they do?

Oh, I remember those Smartie ads. Thing is, I am mostly happy all the time, in a subtle and subdued manner that seems to suit me very well But lately I am feeling REALLY happy and I'm not quite sure what to do about it!

az

"Spread the word of joy and sorrow"

I don't know who said but they were quite possibly drunk at the time!!!

I don't want to be too precise, az, but I live in the North of England, near the Lake District.

About two hours ago we experienced a full-on blizzard for about half an hour. We've got two inches of snow in the town and quite a bit more in the outlying areas. Right now, though, the sun is shining and the weather looks glorious, if rather cold. It's amazing that it can change so quickly - even here where they say 'if you don't like the weather wait a minute'.

I'm pleased to hear you're feeling so happy. I don't know that you should try to do something about it. If it ain't broke and all that.

"Spread the word of joy and sorrow." Goes nicely with: "Deck the halls with boughs of holly". Does it come from the song?

I thought I had suggested a faintly surreal concept - someone who wasn't religious but would like to be. I was trying to raise the question in people's minds: 'why the hell would anyone WANT to be religious if they weren't already?' Which might provoke the question 'why do I want to be religious in the first place?' Della actually answered the question in exactly the way I hoped but will never take the second step of asking herself the same question.

F

Fathom,

For your information a 'full-on blizzard' does not end up leaving just two measly inches of snow! Don't forget you are talking to a Canadian. We only start to get concerned when three feet of snow falls overnight.

Though happily the last time it snowed in Sevilla was about fifty years ago - and they still talk about it!

<>

A noble effort. But I think religious people somehow *cannot* question their beliefs too much. Or that they are afraid to. I dunno. I have never felt a need for religion. Anyhow, I do wonder why Della re-activated that thread if she doesn't want to debate with anyone.

az