h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Reasons to have a man and/or cats about the house.

The other day the whatever-ya-call-him guy (general all-around fix-it sort of guy) came and hacked a huge hole in the ceiling in the hallway between the bedroom and Lua's room. Fine. Said he was replacing some water pipe-tube-thingys. Fine. But after he made this huge hole he went away for days, then showed up yesterday to pick up tools and to say he wasn't sure when he'd be back.

Meanwhile, big gaping hole in ceiling.

It's a very old building. God knows what is lurking up there.

Anyhow. . . .

Last night I was woken up around 5am by Azar frolicking around in the hallway near the kitchen. Eeek! I got up and couldn't see anything, but went back to bed with the light on.

Got up this morning and told Noggin to be on the lookout for a cockroach the size of a Buick. He couldn't find any such creature. Fine.

Then, whilst having brekky I noticed my other cat Sunny sitting totally still in the doorway between the living room and the front door, and staring quite pointedly at Noggin's sandals.

I whispered to Noggin - it's there! It's under your sandal! You must kill it! Don't pause, don't hesitate, don't stop to think - just kill the f**ker! So N very bravely went over to his sandals, picked one up and a HUGE cucaracha ran out - and he quite smartly pummelled into the other world.

Meanwhile, Mr Fix-it seems to have disappeared for the weekend and we still have this huge gaping hole in the hallway ceiling. But I reckon that between Noggin and the two cats I'll be safe.


az

ps
just thinking I should probably be posting this on the Lua thread - think I will . . .

Az is that your way of farwarning the australian or is it new zealand, come to think of it american researcher its on its way there a HUGE cucaracha that is belly first,

logicus,

Not for the first time I have no idea what you are talking about!


Meanwhile, started back with my Pilates routine this morning - using the dvd (yay me!). But I can see it getting very boring very quickly as a lot of the time spent during the 45-minute workout is on explanations. Also, it seems a bit too easy, though right now this is probably not a bad thing as my hip is still a bit wonky. But it was a nice workout this morning and I feel quite 'stretched out' and my back actually feels better for it.

Kelli, you'll have to tell me how your Pilates class goes. I think this dvd is for complete beginners, which is why I'm finding it too easy. Well, it's also one specifically designed for use while recuperating from back problems (or to use during pregnancy). How many times a week are your classes?


az

logicus,

I think az meant the OTHER world, not the NEW world (or even the third world).

Hi az,

La cucaracha, la cucaracha, what a quaint and happy little song. La cucaracha, la cucaracha, it keeps me happy all day long.
(Speedy Gonzales)


I'm doing some DIY today; finishing off a little shelf unit I've made to go above the computer. Right now I'm roasting a turkey breast and - obviously - writing to you.

Can't you cover up the hole in the ceiling temporarily with some cardboard or something? That's the trouble with rented places - the landlord thinks he owns the place.

F

I actually meant the 'next' world - as in DEATH - but Noggin, who normally corrects my spelling and other stupid mistakes, was not on the ball with that one.

Right now I am sautéing spicy chicken and have previously prepared toasted flour tortillas covered in homemade hummous, grilled aubergine and grilled red peppers (all rolled up - yum).

As well as writing to you and msn-ing with my sister in Canada.

And drinking plenty of

Fun, innit?

Perhaps a piece of cardboard over the gaping hole would help, but so far we've only had one uninvited guest, and as long as I have the cats and Noggin to protect me I reckon I'm okay.

But seriously, you cannot believe the size of these f**kers! And no matter how much you smack them with a shoe they don't die! The only thing to do is collect them in a wad of paper towel and flush them down the toilet.

Why is it you are ALWAYS doing DIY stuff?


az

Dont forget to take the halloween tour, hunt the four, or is it forum the hump,t dumpty. thoughts of halloween and all that perhaps cover hole up by stiching sqiushed sqaushed, washed,roasted toasted, roacha dontchar grilled skins, go with the pumpkin, nicely. and how are the bats quite well,there busy time of year, what do you think nimbus is liveing on,

More weekend FUN.

Even without being *totally* ruthless I still managed to fill four binliners with old clothes (well, one was of old sheets). Noggin filled one bag with his clothes - basically stuff he needn't have bothered packing . We're going to take his stuff over to Miguel the street guy and see if he wants any of it as there are a couple of warm sweaters he might like for the winter. They're still in good condition, just, well, hideous.

Anyhow, it does feel good to have cleaned out the closets a bit.


logicus, was that a poem for me?


az

sort of but if you want one
care to dare,bare bear,beer fear !feel for fear faceing the bear,that bares the bare bear,bearing ,his soul in the coal hole,so I care bare bear,bare the wheight,of the case of amontllado ,to the
cottage with pottage ,in sight of the light ,on the tip of the coast of Terra De Furago is just mixed in with the tour here is one for you
relating to the thread unraveling in the traveling trouberdore,trumpeting.

thoughts of halloween and all that’s in-between latch key and satchi
perhaps in the cover up hole in the butter up by stitching the cover up
With sqiushed sqaushed, washed buttercups, eating roasted toasted
Marsh mellow yellow mallows ,crow a chattering ,miss black cat ack ack
Ack cackerring mash chap a rings on your bell don’t-char just grin and bare it
grilled pig skins, and tear it go with the pumpkin, nicely. and don’t care sheet*
How are the Vampire empire bats."old not so cold nick" living in the wall ,tall"hells bells" now is there shadow cold now
Quite right , ther’re quite an impressive type Oh well ,there is a little well do tell
Is this a busy time of year, for you dear ,the no gunpowder and silly plot’ what hot
Now we have that dread curse that witch we cannot rehearse call nurse it’s the empty
Purse
Don’t be scared, just walk quick, right on mind the circle ,cycle Micheal michalin
Twisting twisted listed, misted, round the moon the loon in tune with the vibrato
So its now your affair as you decline to reclimb ,into the chair there ,just by the ,see hear dear

Lua wasn't black, she was siamese. But thanks for the poem.


az

,my mind read back re [black] "miss back chat cat" must remember when i put whole bit together,
was poe a rapper, ? flashed past the thread ,

Morning,
az my pilates class is a short beginners course - one lesson a week for six weeks. I then get to graduate on to the 'improvers' course. Am looking forward to it this afternoon.

Sound like your weekend was as fun as mine. I had the pleasure of getting soaked to the skin by a sudden storm when walking the beasties yesterday. The rain was coming in sideways and had more than a hint of ice about it. HAve seldom been so cold and wet, the beasties were pretty unhappy about it too - kept looking at me like it was my fault...

Ah well, another week. Better do some work I suppose
k

Hi guys,



Cool poem logicus. If Poe was alive today he would have been a rapper I expect. (And very old).


I expect that's the last bit of DIY, except for any emergency maintenance, until the spring. I need to tidy up the garage now so we can put the car in it overnight through the winter. Quite what I'll find to do instead though, I'm not sure.

My wife does Pilates once a week. She also does yoga but her yoga class has ceased for some reason so she just does that at home. It's very important that the instructor knows what he/she is doing. You should ask to check their credentials when you are thinking of joining the class.

F

A cucaracha the size of a Buick? Wild exaggeration. It was no bigger than a Ford Escort.

So what's the book going to be about, Fathom? I´m thinking about something along the lines of and the art of being cheesed at scrabble.

Noggin

Hi Noggin,

If you catch the f**kers alive you could probably sell them on ebay.

Obviously it would be a mistake to give away the plot for my book here. There would be four versions on the shelves in Ottakars, a play on Radio 4 and a feature length pilot episode on Hallmark before I got home tonight. I have an idea for a thriller set slightly in the future. The story is based around something non-religious but which some people believe in despite there being no evidence for it. There are the usual sub-plots, a romance, some martial arts and a mysterious villain along with some stretching technology and a devastating ( saw it coming on page 9) final twist. I'll probably see you at a book signing.

My spiritual work is more likely to be and the Philosophy of Spock. (The Star Trek character, not the paedeatrician.)

F

Hey az, seen the front page today? This might come in handy: A2715464

k

Maybe az could write a parallel entry on 'how to win at Scrabble'?

F

?

Kelli, that entry would only help if Noggin doesn't read it too! But thanks anyhow . . .


Fathom, I don't even know how I always win at Scrabble (well okay, not always, but about 99% of the time). My best score so far was 404-216 . We've come up with a new scoring method: if Noggin loses by 50 points or less, he just loses; if he loses by 50-100 points he is creamed; between 100-150 points he's cheesed; higher than that and he is cream-cheesed.

Oh, look at the time! Must get ready for work!




az

Morning, *helps self to a *

My pilates class was...odd. We didn't really do very much and it was mostly explanation from the leader. Still, I'll keep at it and see if it gets better.

In the gym afterwards I managed to run for a whole 27 minutes - I usually run then walk then run then walk but yesterday ran straight through - am very proud of myself!

Hope everyone is keeping well
k

Afternoon.



I posted a question about distance learning courses on 'Ask' but no-one has replied yet.

Well done Kelli! How far did you get in 27 minutes? Does the treadmill show the mileage? At a reasonable jogging pace it should have been five or six miles. Did you catch the bus back?

It sounds like your Pilates teacher is being very sensible. Take my word for it; the exercises will soon be much more challenging.

F

Your 'reasonable jogging pace' must be a bit faster than mine! I was going at 6 miles per hour (have recently improved up to this, was at 5.5 max before) so I did just under 3 miles. I am so pleased with this - when I started on the treadmills in June I could do 3 minutes at 5.3 mph and then had to slow it down to 4 mph to walk for a couple of minutes before speeding up again. Amazing how quickly I've built it up! I honestly didn't think I'd ever be able to run for 15 minutes straight...

I'm sure you are right about the class - have been trying to focus on keeping my stomach muscles tight today and keeping my shoulders pulled down, its hard work! Have had to change my chair settings too, so it is more difficult for me to slump into my normal sitting position.

What sort of distance learning stuff are you after? Have you checked out the open univeristy website?

k