h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

....and Blicky in the "Older mother" thread - lost my elder brother yesterday and my perceptions are a bit too skewed at present to post to a serious thread.

El

Oh no, Elinitsa - what happened?

az

He's been fighting cancer - but this was an unexpected complication. I feel so bad for his wife and family.

Oh honey, I'm so sorry for you and the rest of your family. Cancer is such a bugger, such a nasty illness to watch a loved one go through.

How are you holding up? Heavens, don't feel concerned about a stupid thread here - anyhow, I've given up on that one myself. Too much 'well if it were me I'd *never* do such a thing' self-righteous pontificating going on there for my liking. I mean, it wasn't them, was it?

Anyhow, if you want to talk I'm here. I'm not sure I'd have anything useful to say but I am in fact a very good listener. Just don't feel alone, okay?

az

Thanks for that - we're just doing the contacting people thing at present...feels weird, hadn't seen each other for ages but.....

Yeah, something like this often brings people together you haven't seen for awhile.

Want to talk about him? I'm here for at least another hour or so.

az

Meant to say talk about him and how you are feeling - must preview!

az

Thanks Az - but at w**k for now - catch you later, perhaps.

Okay, take care

az

Hi. Thanks for earlier, it's been a very strange day! Spoke to my niece just now and she sounds so much better than she did yesterday - funeral's next week, so thankfully they don't have to wait too long.

Left work early and went for a good walk, walked a bit, cried a bit - feel better for it.

Thanks again.


El

How are you feeling today?


az

Thought that I was doing OK - then they started piling stuff on at work, someone wanted me to think for them rather than thiinking for themselves (usual sort of stuff!) and I lost the plot. Now sat at home about to have a cuppa and sit in the sun for an hour.

Sounds like a good plan.

Can you not get a day or two off work for 'bereavement whatever'? I know some companies allow for this.

How much older was your brother? How old are you?

az

I could do - but I really don't want to sit at home and roll it over in my mind, trouble is, I'm PA (read "nanny") to 9 blokes who seem to forget to breathe if no-one tells 'em - normally I can just rant quietly, but at present I'm finding it difficult to deal with.

My brother was 17 years older than me - I'm 46, he would've been 63 next week. I'm closer in age to my nieces and nephews.

I guess that makes sense - not wanting to just be at home with your feelings, etc.

Of course you might burst into tears - or just flip out otherwise - in front of the nine blokes . . . put them totally to shame. This is your moment to behave a bit irrationally and no one could blame you for it.

And of course I'm just being a bit silly by saying that.

So we are similar in age - didn't know that. I'm 49 1/2.

az

Ah - totally freaked one of them today....didn't quite make it into the ladies before - unknown to me he was lurking in the tea point. He got that slightly hunted look men get when confronted by a woman in tears and shot upstairs to send another female down because "I'm a man and I not very good with things like that"

Just as well, really. Who needs a git who doesn't even know how to hug properly when hugs are what's needed.

Though in fact, when I'm in a very upset moment, I don't need or even want hugs as much as just some very firm and kind and caring words - and okay, maybe an arm around my shoulder . . .

It's just good to feel supported, you know? And not feel like you've suddenly sprouted ten green scary medusa heads for being somewhat emotional.

az

Know what you mean about hugs - something I'm not really that comfortable with unless it's someone I know well. I tend to do the "hands by the sides, stand straight" thing!

REAL hugs - given by a totally trusted loved one - I can totally fall into. But social 'light hugs' I'd rather do without. Well, except that I do like kissing people on both cheeks when I greet them here - typical Spanish thing.

Yeah, strangers trying to do the fake 'touchy feely huggy' thing usually ends up with me doing "hands by my side, stand straight" - and also puts a look in my eye (known as The Ray) that usually makes them never want to try that sort of thing again.

az

It's not just me then....apparently "the LOOK" has scared some fairly formidable (and not so) from time to time! The other half (Stars Wars fan) often refers to me as the Vaderette!