Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

Do not ask which creature screams in the night,
Do not question who waits for you in the shadow.
It is my cry that wakes you in the night,
And my body that crouches in the shadow.
I am Ztik and you are the puppet
That dances to my tune.


Those who fear the darkness have never seen what the light can do.


In one such dark place, I felt conscious of a singular accession of fright, as if some subtle and bodiless emanation from the abyss were engulfing my spirit; but the blackness was too great for me to percieve the source of my alarm.


Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.


The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them.


The quickest way to a man's heart is not through the stomach but through his chest, with an axe.

We all enter this world in the same way: naked; screaming; soaked in blood. But if you live your life right, that kind of thing doesn't have to stop there.


We, the unwilling,
led by the unknowing,
are doing the impossible
for the ungrateful.
We have done so much,
for so long,
with so little,
we are now qualified to do anything
with nothing.


You cannot scream,
You cannot cry;
You can only bleed,
You can only die.

And now, for something completely... similar. This is Ztik's h2g2 corner of doom and death. Ztik is god of all things dark and shadowy, as well as all dark and shadowy things. Ztik has many dark and formless servants. They perform his less tasteful tasks for him, so that he is free to dine on the suffering of others. Ztik's own shadow is named Fergie. He is small and evil.

Shadowy Things come in three different types: servants, sinners, and overseers. Servants take orders directly from Ztik, but also answer to their overseer and Enyophet. The sinners control who does what to who, when, and to what degree, and are controlled by their overseer, Enyophet, and Ztik. The two lesser overseers, obviously, keep the many Things in line, and are in turn controlled by Enyophet, my right-hand Thing. All Things are ultimately bound by my will.

Things are spawned from Målålükåh, the most evil tree in existence. It is completely black, has no roots, and its branches have no end or beginning.

Enyophet Zyktu - Ztik's Second in Command, Thing Overseer

Naphko Heptin - Sinner Overseer
Laotien Dazooru - Servant Overseer


Fergie, Thing of Ztik
Nüston, Thing of Insanity
Zog, Thing of Torture
Radicand, Thing of Anguish
It, Thing of Death
Salak, Thing of Corruption
Mek, Thing of Lies
Bane, Thing of Goth
Atu, Thing of Fear
Kado, Thing of Stillness
Rustapha, Thing of Sadness
Leenahb, Thing of Hatred
Barrohck, Thing of Idiocy
Caazni, Thing of Terror


Ñelph, Thing of Gluttony
Möwæg, Thing of Greed
Scizx, Thing of Lust
Hwårgnok, Thing of Pride
Nak, Thing of Envy
Rakni, Thing of Sloth
Selvu, Thing of Wrath


Målålükåh - the Rootless Twisted Evil Tree of Darkness, from which all Things are spawned


In addition to the above, Ztik also has at his command the Four Horsethings. These visit doom and destruction on those who personally wrong him. They are not controlled by any of the overseers, and most decisions are made by Infral.

The Four
Infral, Thing of Death - Head of the Army of Four. Kills by any and every manner of death ever invented.

Salvotu, Thing of Famine - The trickster. He has caused more suffering and death than Gosamk and Myuvade combined.

Myuvade, Thing of Pestilence - Disease personified. Capable of annihilating millions of people overnight.

Gosdaamek, Thing of War - A killing machine; an automaton. His sole purpose is to drive human beings to murder each other.


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Ztik, the god of dark and shadowy things.

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