h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This is utterly utterly awful, horrendous. I am NOT designed for stamping on kittens heads, even if it would put several people including my self, out of their misery, even if RL friends, let alone "you lot" all tell me this is what i must do.

I can't do it, i cannot kick people when they are down at their lowest, even if they are using me to vent their frustrations on (NOT physically,never, but emotionally)i have some sort of major defect, i empathise too much.

There is something very very wrong with him, but there is something probably even more wrong with me. Why can't i be truly mean & selfish; i joke about it very unpleasantly at times, but am totally incapable of doing it except in moments of absolute frustration, when i spit comments that wound like poison arrows. And regret it 5 minutes later.

I am going round the twist here; yes, it is painfully obvious i should dump him with a capital D, but i cannot look at that kitten & go "stomp"!

It is probably that i have a strong "need to be needed" thing, dunno.

Oh well, tomorrow is the "fête de la musique" when the whole of France celebrates, free concerts absolutely everywhere, hordes of people, "a grand craic!" as the Irish would say! i have made a huge curry & plan on inviting the world & his wife to help me eat it before sallying forth onto the streets. If the viking don't like it, tough; he is invited, he can be sociable, he can refuse to come & stay home & sulk; or he can come & join my friends & maybe discover he can have a good time; up to him.

But he won't be able to continue texting me literally every 5 minutes for much longer "where are you? Huh! having a good time with your friends eh," stuff, his credit will run out & i am NOT paying for more.

Oh, he is being so so silly; he is pushing self destruct buttons out of some sort of misplaced desperation.

*sigh*

zdt

It is hardly easy!
Nobody can do it without hurtingwith the exception of a sociopath.

I never could do it easily.
I gave it every chance which enabled me to walk away , *eventually relatively guilt free.

That never stopped it from hurting like hell. People would swear I had been dumped until I was able to to stop crying and explain what happened. Invariably they would say so..... then.....are you sorry you did it?
Do you want them bacK?
I replied No.
It is not a mistake,
It just hurts

A friend of mine says not only does it hurt but you have to cancel all those long range plans! (temporary, feels like forever)

I believe you can love two people at once but never in the same way or else one thing would stand out enabling you make a choice.

It never lasts as a trio unless all give their blessings. In my experiences one person is actually better for you than the other. The doubly loved one is often not able to understand themseleves well enough to choose or just plain not wanting a monogomous commitment.

Are you really paying for your his phone just so he can harass you? Oh I don't know what to say anymore, you think he is more important then yourself, that is too sad.

>it is painfully obvious i should dump him with a capital D, but i cannot look at that kitten & go "stomp"!<

Terri, when will you see that it is HE doing the stomping?

Kaz says: "Oh I don't know what to say anymore, you think he is more important then yourself, that is too sad."

And I second that.

I won't comment on this any further, for now, Terri. I love you and I don't want to hurt you more just because I'm angry about this situation.

Did he bring your bike over last night, or has he delayed it as an excuse to make you see him again?

I think the kitten anology is horrible and inaccurate, when I read or hear stuff like that I cannot help but imagine it, everytime I see kitten in this context you have me imagining I am murdering a kitten with my own foot. Thanks for the imagery, can we not use that analogy anymore, as it is truely sickening me.

The Viking is not a cute, lovable creature who is always there for you, he is a grown man who puts you through hell and then tries to blame you for it. He uses and abuses you, why ever are you paying for his phone cards? Can you really afford to buy stuff for someone who gives you nothing in return, except emotional violence?

Sorry to say it Terri, I tried to be supportive when you said he was not all bad, but I will not enable this abuse anymore by sanctioning it.

I've not deserted, just staying quiet, "shoulder always available"

Quite right Animal, I would like to see Terri here and see that she is okay, and then we can hopefully support her in doing whats right for herself.

no disrespect to anyone, it is silly me trying to give advice, when lots more are, it only helps to confuse the situation, thats why I just popped in(I think they call it lurking, not sure)to show support

The world needs all sorts, the mouthy ones who can't stop giving advice (like me - crap at taking my own advice though!) and the quieter ones who offer support and shoulders, both are needed and its good to lurk!

>The Viking is not a cute, lovable creature who is always there for you, he is a grown man who puts you through hell and then tries to blame you for it. He uses and abuses you, why ever are you paying for his phone cards? Can you really afford to buy stuff for someone who gives you nothing in return, except emotional violence?

Sorry to say it Terri, I tried to be supportive when you said he was not all bad, but I will not enable this abuse anymore by sanctioning it.<

I have to admit that this is my perception of the situation as well. It's becoming more and more difficult for me to enable it, too. If I were being treated this way by K, you wouldn't let me make excuses for it either. And the last time *I* tried to blame myself for the way other people treat me, you put the phone down on me. Why is it not okay for your friends and loved ones to be abused, but it's all right for you to be?

friends are......nothing else neededcatch you later, food time

Terri, PC and myself are still here to help and support you. Please come and have a chat, we are angry with the Viking not you. We have both had self-esteem issues where we allowed men to treat us badly, so we are on your side, we do understand what you are going through.

Maybe you think he is better than nothing, that time is running out and so you need to accept him whatever. Thats not true, you are worth someone special and if that person doesn't arrive straight away then concentrate on your art, reading, or anything else you enjoy.

You seem to have friends in Angouleme who help you so you are not alone. We care here as well, we care so much we get angry. We know you are worth better, and we shall repeat it until you believe it too! Although I do understand part of that journey is yours alone, we shall still cheer you on.

>We care here as well, we care so much we get angry. We know you are worth better, and we shall repeat it until you believe it too! Although I do understand part of that journey is yours alone, we shall still cheer you on.<

And how.

Terri has eyes, I hope everything is okay and you arn't getting hassled by him.

Thanks.

Anyway, tonight i am organising The Dinner Party From Hell & if he decides to sulk, i don't care 'cos i will have lots of mates around & It is like a game of Cluedo; just about all my mates are picky eaters, grab this one:

ME: meat; no, veg; yes, dairy; yes, booze; yes, curry; yes
VIKING: meat; yes, veg; yes, dairy; yes, booze; yes, curry; no
HELEN: meat; yes, veg; yes, dairy; no,booze; no, curry; no
MICHEL: meat; yes, veg; yes, dairy; yes, booze; no, curry; yes
CHRISTIAN: meat; yes, veg; yes, dairy; no, booze; no, curry; no
JOSIE: meat; no, veg; yes, dairy, no, booze, no, curry; no
CATHY: meat; yes, veg; no, dairy; yes, booze; yes, curry; no
ADRIAN: meat; no,veg; yes, dairy; no, booze; no, curry; yes
MARTINE: No to everything 'cos she is anorexic!
PATRICK: No to everything 'cos he refuses to eat or drink after lunchtime "to preserve my figure"
OLLIE: Bless the man! Eats & drinks anything put in front of him....& washes up afterwards without being asked! BUT he can't make it tonight! May pop in for drinks later.

I reckon a nice dish of plain boiled rice might be the safest bet! Served up with copious quantities of water!

Oh well, whatever, it will be a change; i am getting to the stage of just letting it all wash over me.

Daren't stay out too late enjoying the unfortunately; i have rendezvous at the Social Work place 9am tomorrow, quite coincidentally so does Viking, he is paranoid as hell "Pretend you don't know me in the waiting room; maybe they will take my benefit away!" Stupid sod, it is NOT against the rules to have a girlfriend (or two in his case!) he isn't living with either of us *puts aside evil thoughts of letting on that i am pretty much supporting him a lot of the time*

Anyway, Patrick N will be with me & is not one to put up with Viking stupid games!

So, hopefully tonight will actually be some well deserved FUN for once!

zdt

>so does Viking, he is paranoid as hell "Pretend you don't know me in the waiting room; maybe they will take my benefit away!"<

That's not paranoid, it's ignorant and asinine. If someone said something like that to me, I'd pretend not to know them permanently.

Sounds like a fun dinner party. Thought you didn't cook meat? I won't. My dinner guests simply have to make do.

Can't wait to hear about it, and the trip to the Social Work place tomorrow. I'm overwhelmed with the urge to rat him out as having a source of income (you) as well. Would you please stop supporting other people who *won't* take care of themselves and look after yourself once in a while? It's not evil or mean or selfish to take care of #1 first. It's imperative. You can't do squat for anyone else if you wind up incapacitated from lack of rest/money/nourishment/electricy/etc.

Don't make me come to Angouleme, turn you over my knee, and paddle you!

heeee!

Perhaps its time Terri got a paddle to keep the Viking well-behaved!

I hope you have a good evening Terri and I hope the appointment goes well tomorrow.

So, hopefully tonight will actually be some well deserved FUN for once!

zdt>>>

good luck to you on that one , there are lots of fussy eaters nowadays with diets etc .

I sure hope that we hear back that the dinner party was a smash success!

Terri, I remember when we first started discussing the possibility of our opening a hotel together and doing the cooking, and we were in agreement that if anyone wants us to cook for them, they're gonna have to eat meatless dishes. You've got an awful lot of meat eaters there! I'm fortunate that I don't have many friends who eat meat (K would be the only one and he does fine without when I cook or when we eat at vegetarian spots), but even if I did... I ain't cooking any!

As for curry, you know how I adore that, and yours sound mouthwateringly good, especially the ones you gave me once on MSN messenger. I make a wickedly good one with chickpeas, sweet potatoes, and golden raisins.