h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

sex, drugs? whats that? yeah, right. i was precocious. terribly so.

something I've always wondered, what exactly does 'precocious' mean? I know it's got something to do with maturity in advance of age but that's about it.

just early developing mental faculties.

Ah, so it means you're liable to go nuts earlier than usual?

it was a short trip, trust me.

It turns out I was slightly dyslexic as a child so thought precocious meant the same thing as 'precious'.

Incidentally, did you know 'dyslexia' is an anagram of 'daily sex'? Imagine finding that out the hard way.

I'm sure that was in the definition somewhere. I am hopelessly adoreable, how could they think anything different? Parent/teacher conferences. Oh, the good ol' days...

I'd ask how you found that out the hard way, but wow. I'll have to use that, that's really good!

the hard way of finding out that dyslexia is an anagram of 'daily sex' is when someone sends you an email saying 'I have dyslexia - it's horrible'.

I'm hoping you didn't reply back saying something like, "Wow, I wish I did too!" or "Darn, who's your girl?" I think I'd use dyslexia as an excuse to come up with especially perverted comments. Currently, I'm using my friends.

I'm not that dyslexic, normally I correct myself when typing anyway. I've recently developed a stutter, it took me at least 30 seconds to say 'The Soviet Union' in a tutorial the other day.

did you purposely develope this stutter? *reclines*

Nope, just my tutor is a bit agressive and I get nervous.

a bit aggressive as in throwing things and screaming? or maybe just intimidating?

You say: 'Sorry I was late but I've been working for the last 12 hours on this and none of the material was available to me and then I got run over and had to go to hospital look here's my cast'
She says: 'Oh I'm sure you were, or maybe you're just lazy?'

okay that's a bit hyperbolic but you get the idea.

Oh, isn't that great? Just hope she's late for class or forgets something so you can say the same thing and get kicked out of class for it.

Nah, if I'm going to get kicked out of Uni then I'm damn well going to make sure there's an explosion involved.

Not a fatal one, just a big one.

Possibly one that they'll memorialize? Ooooh, the fun you could have! *squeal*

and I'm not even a science student...


i have an essay for next Friday which i haven't started, maybe I could involve the explosion concept around that time

I think I'd probably start having fits and wire up fireworks in all of the corners of the room so that they explode at the time you say something very profound. Then again, that would take a lot of rehearsing. Maybe just having them go off would be enough.

Would you mind coming over here and causing incident about the time that my history project is due?

You want me to travel in a plane to American to blow stuff up?

It's like suicide only really expensive.