h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As of the 17th of October I began my third year on this site.
And as with with my real life birthday, my hootoo birthday passed unnoticed and unmarked by the world.

If you want to know the measure of a man count his friends.

Man: Stealth Kamanchi
Number of friends: 0.00

Do you know how many different people have phoned me this year?
Three.
Suz, my mother and Lydia.

Even if someone did decide to call me, what would I talk to them about?
Nothing. I am extremely boring, dull and unfunny. I don't actually have anything of any interest or worth for people to listen to. I am a non-person. Barely even human.

What do I contribute to society?
Very little.

But I do take benefits from the DWP, I do takesome expensive drugs from the NHS and lots of appointment time from various medical people.

I have no-one, I have nothing. I am no-one, I am nothing.

I'm sorry that I forgot your birthday, I'm sorry that I don't call you. I'm sorry that I'm not here for you when you need me, and if I didn't care about you I wouldn't worry about it. But I do, you can ask most people who know me what happens when I don't hear from you for more than a week. I freak out. I really do.

to be frank ive always preferred to ignore my birthdays and let them go by unnoticed

and you do have friends on here people (including me) notice when you arent around and havent been on. I may not always post to some of your journals but i do read them and take note. We do care about you. I think extremely little of myself but I think it is purely because I am unwilling to believe what others say about you might be true especially when i see such darkness in me. This might be me spouting self sanctified crud and if it is I am sorry. Do ignore it. But I do think you need to believe in your own goodness.

:::hugs::: I care about you hunny, even if I don't show it as much as I could.

Stealth you about? I'm getting worried now seems you've not posed in a few days You do have friends on here, as I said before I am one, and you are a friend to me I missed your birthday too, I miss everyones, I find it difficult keeping up with everyone on here sometimes, and I've been trying* rt reduce the number of conversations I'm involved in as I don't manage to keep up with half the ones I've got anyhow; so I'm not* ignoring you if I don['t coment on every journal or thread all teh time

I wasn't about, no... Didn't get online at the library for various reasons this week, I could bring myself to leave my room on Monday, overslept on Tuesday and Friday. Wednesday much the same as Monday... Thursday no computer were available when I had the time...

But I'm here tonight. Sorry to have got you worried 2legs...

As for the issues raised in this thread,... I just feel like crying. I do not know how to believe I have friends.

Well, wether you believe it or not we're here. So, it's one of those things, you can think we don't exist when we do, or you can accept that we're here and use us as an outlet, which I think sometimes you need.

seconds that

Hear,hear!

Yup! You do have friends here Stealth. Lots of people here care about you whether you believe it or not. I don't think I knew when your birthday was but I'm sorry if I missed it. So Belated Birthday Wishes to you and more s.

As much as want to believe that i have friends, at present I find it impossible. I've slit my arm again, the lonliness I've felt the four months is only becoming more intense, I don't trust anyone, I don't feel able to go to anyone, i don't cared for or understood. I just feel a terrible isolation that is driving me towards suicide.

My dear, I am there myself. Let's hold on together. Just the other day I was complaining that one of the reasons I'm so depressed lately is that I am in so much pain that I can't be there for anyone else in pain. We should start a club- oh, wait, I guess we did- h2g2. "With so many lonely people in the world, it's selfish to be lonely by yourself." I don't remember who said it, but I try to remind myself when I am in pain that the whole world is in pain. I'm here for you, in this nanosecond when my own pain recedes enough to feel empathy for your pain. Please accept my offering, as it is all I have to give.
Cali gal

Where is your pain coming from?

I've suffered from depression for almost as long as I can remember, but right now I am in physical pain, too. When I was 11, I fell out of a tree on my back. When I was about 23, I was kicked in the back- hard. A few years after that, I fell off a cliff I was climbing. The next year, I rolled my car. Two years ago, I hurt my back at work, lifting a heavy desk. Then, a month ago, I hurt it again, and I think there is now nerve damage, because 1) parts of my body go numb; 2) I get pins and needles feeling for no reason; 3) the pain doesn't go away, even with major pain medication; and 4) I get dizzy and nauseous if I don't lie flat on my back for most of the day.
Along with the depression, I'm ready to die myself. Have been for the past month. Don't know how I'm still holding on, really. I just try to remember that I'm not the only one in pain. I wish I could fix everybody's pain- even if I can't fix mine.
Cali

That's alot to take.