h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Mr Kippling Mini Battenbergs?

Each to their own I suppose...

.. Though I do now crave

... Thank you...

"Though I do now crave "

Good. A little evil a day keeps the s away. Mwahahhaahaa...


Come on folks how would end the sentence?

*ends sentence by leaning back in office chair and savouring the trickle of soft melted chocolate over the back of my tongue, eyes closed, soft moan...*

Well, it's the only way to REALLY enjoy the I bought on my way in this morning, knowing it was going to be a long, long monday...

Br Azatoth, I have no idea what you're on about! Kipplings? Battenberg?

Certainly sounds like a fine way to raise spirits for a hard one.


Mr Kipling... well, he makes exceedingly good cakes, y'see.
Or so the adverts would have you believe. Apart from the aforementioned Mini Battenberg they're pretty mediocre stuff. The harmony pharmacy Lindfield used to sell these totally organic chocolate cakes made locally they truly were exceedingly good, an orgasmic organic chocolate overdose wrapped in greaseproof paper.

Mini Battenbergs are finger-like miniature helpings of the Battenberg cake with it's devious soft sponge interior forming a little check pattern of pink and yellow held together with electrifying apricot jam and all wrapped up in a temptingly smooth marzipan sprinkled naughtily with sugar.

According to the Mr Kipling website my fondness for Mini Battenbergs means:
"You really break the mould!

Who said a square sponge will never work! Some people just love to prove others wrong, and you just can’t resist setting the cat amongst the pigeons! But though you like to turn your nose up at convention, just like Mr Kipling Mini Battenburgs, you’re utterly charming in every way".

I just had an egg custard tart

Oooh, yum.
I'll have get me one of those next time I pass Lindfield's bakery and maybe get myself a devilish apricot slice too.

I used to get em quite a bit as the previous people who owned/run our bakery used to do them But they don't any more But then I saw these at the supermarket so had to buy a packet of them I've eaten half already though

What supermarket do you use? Apart from the Champaign loaves their's nothing in the bakery section of my local Sainbury's I'd actually want to put in my mouth...

got them from tescos... they're not home made fantastic level, but they're as good as anything I've had recently even from 'local' bakery type outlets... think they're about a quid or so for a pack or four; my main problem with them is the shape; they're not 'flat' enough, so don't have quite enough nutmeg on them, but instead they're more 'deep', I guess you get more filling (egg custard), but less flat area on teh top for the nutmeg I should really lurn how to make em, theyr'e the one cake i could just eat and eat and eat... well... OK, a really well made victoria sponge would be good, but I've made that, time and time again, good... but not that* toally great, esp in comparason to the vic sponge my friend made at the bakery which he works,.... which unfortunately is a couple hours now from wher I live (especially annoying as he's just about to buy and become the sole owner of the said bakery darn... I feel hungry now

I'm on the Mini Battenbergs again.

Pure evil!!! I'm on Rich Tea cream fingers... Not quite mini battenburgs, but they'll do

You poor thing, how awful...

Ah, you see, I'm one of those rare Rich Tea likers... So it's not all bad

My mother has that same freakish genetic mutation, but tisn't one I inherited.

I like em with a layer of tes*o finest praline spread between two of em. Generic hazelnut/choc spread will work

Hazelnut and chocolate...