h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So, I did make my way to Brentford, that jewel on the Thames. That shining light of civilisation. That place where nothing is quite what it seems.
I arrived late. As I often do.
I did buy copies of Robert's new book and i did get them signed and I did chat with fellow Sproutlorians.
Then I, Rachie D and Tim the Mighty (not to be confuzzled with Timmeh) to the pub. Here I did refresh myself with a pint of London Pride. Possibly the poorest pint of that I ever did have. Then I went outside for a fag and my cane was stolen by a chavette who name him Eric and did lewd things with him.
Then I went in and got more drinks.
And spoke to folks and then I made the even longer trek home.
Once home I chatted to Stephanie and then I had a bath, then I laid down for an hour and then I got up and then dressed and then made my way back to Brentford, the true site of God's Eden.
Here I did observe the wedding of Robert and Rachel.
And very nice it was to. A pagan ceremony in Victorian dress, with many a beautiful woman corseted and the odd equally beautiful corseted chap.
Many references to Pan and other pagan gods, such as Kurt Cobain. And flowery vows of love and lust.
It was impossible not to be happy for Robert, he was loving it.
The Reverend Jim provided us with the Judeo-Christian part of the ceremony with verses covering such topics as Sodom And Gomorrah, Lots daughters dutiful acts of incest and of course The Mother Of Harlots and the four horseman of the apocalypse (Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-laa and Po).
Then Joseph Merrick turned up to congratulate the couple.
Then we had some food. Then we went off to the pub for beer and cake and dancing and beer and merry-making and beer.
And then I went home on the train again, which meant leaving early. Sunday was my day of rest, Sleeping in just a little late, 'til 6 of the evening clock.

... And a luvverly time was had by all.

Sounds as if you enjoyed yourself, good for you.

Aye, I saw it and it was good.

It's a lesser spotted Snailrind.