This is the Message Centre for Stealth "Jack" Azathoth

03.09.03...

Post 1

Stealth "Jack" Azathoth

Saw Dr Aziz today... said how impressed he was with how I've been coping with all these suicidal thoughts and the urge to self harm, also said I'm drinking too much and that I should avoid smoking cannibis... I've been having this past week or so such strong feelings of weakness and worthlessness... decided not go into hospital as an in-patient... This court case is getting to me... not hearing from Stephanie is getting to me... Being alive is getting to me... Trying not to cut is getting to me... I want to die to be released from the torment in my head...

Whatever relationship I had with Stephanie, it is time to declare it over for my own peace of mind. I'm alone again. I deserve to be alone. I deserve no-one.

smiley - peacedove


03.09.03...

Post 2

suz - *dances round the room with a ring on her finger!*

sometimes it would just make life easier if doctors would just shoot you in the head. ....not that Im suggesting they should with you, those hazel eyes are too gorgeous to be put to sleep smiley - winkeye

Things with Stephanie dont exactly sound ideal, but if she loves you as much as you deserve (or Should think you deserve), then she'll find a way to get in touch with you....


03.09.03...

Post 3

Amy Pawloski, aka 'paper lady'--'Mufflewhump'?!? click here to find out... (ACE)

smiley - cuddle

You *do* deserve love, Kam, though I can understand why the communication problems aren't helping one single bit...


03.09.03...

Post 4

Jim Pooley

If I could reach, I would hold your hand right now to let you know you're not alone and you're NOT worthless...

check my H2G2 space mate, there's one name (so far) in my list of friends and it's YOU

I signed on just now to reply to you in our conversation about RR.
I'll do that in a minute but now its more important to get this posted


03.09.03...

Post 5

Captain_SpankMunki [Keeper & Former ACE] Thanking <Diety of choice> for the joy of Goo.

Hey Stealth. Listen, we're here for you. You're not worthless by any means. I wish I had the right words to tell you but, as usual, I don't.

Liam.


03.09.03...

Post 6

Lou, (Listy) Not around too much, don't be offended if I don't reply.. I'LL TRY!

smiley - hug

You're not worthless. smiley - cuddle

Far from it smiley - smiley


03.09.03...

Post 7

HELP_IM_LOST (why are there not enough hours in the day?)

smiley - cuddle


03.09.03...

Post 8

Patron Saint of Kittens... aka Pantherlady THE Werepanther of h2g2 and Queen of BBNs

you've got the rest of us! smiley - hug


03.09.03...

Post 9

Stealth "Jack" Azathoth

I don't know how to reply...
I'll just sit here trying not to cry, listening to my inner critic telling me all the positive thing that have been said are untrue...

If Stephanie loved me she would have found a way to contact me... I'm not important to her, I don't even know if she was the person she represented herself to be...

The last 3 'relationships' I've had have all come about through this site and I've only now learned not to come back for more pain.

smiley - peacedove


03.09.03...

Post 10

Jim Pooley

YAHOOOOOOOO!!!

I've been worrying all day whether I'd find a reply tonight.





My mind has gone blank... and apparently my tea is ready.
be back later mate.


03.09.03...

Post 11

Amy Pawloski, aka 'paper lady'--'Mufflewhump'?!? click here to find out... (ACE)

Your crititc is WRONG.

But we've argued about this before, so I know nothing I say will convince you of that...

smiley - cuddle


03.09.03...

Post 12

Stealth "Jack" Azathoth

Sorry to have worried you Pooley... In all honesty I don't think if I'm actively planning to kill myself rather than just struggling with the urge to I would say so here... I'd just stop posting...

smiley - peacedove


03.09.03...

Post 13

Jim Pooley

NEVER stop posting.

I admire your courage to express the truth of what's happening to you and how you feel.

I learn somehting new every day thanks to you....
even how to spell SOMETHING properly


03.09.03...

Post 14

Stealth "Jack" Azathoth

Thanks...

smiley - peacedove


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