h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I follow you in a spooky and creepy manner

So hows it going? What tablets you on? Are they new ones or what?

Oooh...scary!!

hmmm....3 question!

Doing ok now. Still having problems controlling my emotions. Can't cry....laughing a little, but anger is where I'm having problems. I do promise not to shout at you though

I felt so low last Tuesday (just under 2 weeks ago). I don't remember some of what happened. Mum says she telephoned me and I couldn't talk to her, but I wasn't crying. She said she had a "feeling" something was wrong. I don't remember walking to meet my dad.

I remember talking to mum about that, and I could quite have easily just gone off by myself and not known anything about it.

The tablets. Citalopram 20 mgs a day, to be put up to 30 mgs after 10 days (taken in the morning). I was on them this time last year. Came off them around 6 months ago, and the doc seems to think that sounds about right....apparently it takes about 6 months to "recur" again.

He says I am a "recurrant depressive" and I'll be on these tablets for about 18 months to 2 years

Ah well.

Grumble...thats a bummer but at least he thinks youll be able to come off them in the end.

Where abouts are you atm?

Anger at me is fine. I know how it is. I wont hold itgainst you so rant and yell if you so wish.

do you mean...where am I atm, or where do I live?

I leave near Chester, but at the moment I'm at mumsies.....

chester chester...isnt there a RAF base near there? if so Ive been to Chester and had a BK there . when i was at school I was in the RAF cadets.

So what you up to? Your PS and journals dont actually reveal al that much whereas mine do

Well...there is, or was...or still is an RAF base...it's being closed down now. The hump back bridge that ran next door to it is now gone....it was a great bridge when driving over it at speed!!!


As for me. I used to have quite a bit of information about me in my PS, but I look it out a while ago when I felt "down".

If you would like to know anything, I will certainly answer it


What would you like to know?

EVERYTHING!
okay age, what youre doing, what you like, what you hate, whats important to you, who youre with if anyone, who you like, music, books, films, clothing...

Sorry for the past week or so Ive been in the sort of mood where I dont talk about myself because it seems to kill conversations and instead Ive been quizzing people which tends to scare them so tell me to shut up if you want

Dont worry, I wont tell you to shut up, I'll just unsubscribe from this convo

okay age: just short of 29

what youre doing: Right now, talking to you, but I work in a firm of Chartered Accountants

what you like: Loads of things..especially all things Tolkein!! Dogs, rock music, classical too...

What you hate: Nuts! Can't stand them!!

Whats important to you: My family, most definately

who youre with if anyone: I'm with a great fella who I've been with for 11 years and 1 day Still not married, but we have a mortgage between us.

who you like: people who aren't up themselves.

music, books, films, clothing... yep...yep....yep (all LOTR)

Clothing...anything that is slightly bikerish....together with a little bit of goth, but I don't get to wear them that much.

Now now just unsubscribing might be slightly rude!

Hmm what else can i find out about...*starts looking round her for inspiration*

Um any questions?

ooooh....questions, questions!!!!!

hmmmmmm.......how did you come across hootoo?

I was bored and was feeling sad so looked up "hitchhikers guide" on the bbc. Also it was one of the few places I could talk to people that my school hadnt banned on the internet. There was a big hooha because the school banned a lot of sites and unfortunately the bans still applied to boarders even though in the evenings we werent at school.

Oh and to see the...lovely ...me go to....


http://www.geocities.com/happytincbh

so you're the one with dark hair?

You're extremely pretty!!!!

No Im the one covered in black hair with a snout

I actually think that the pics are fluke ones. I normally look appalling in photos.
The ones of Vikki are a person i used to be friends with but ended up arguing with too much. I seem to have a hard time keeping friends because I vanish them so much when Im paranoid, depressed, or hyper....so basically its a weekly thing. Ive currently got...3 people I actually talk to on the phone.

Sorry I seem to be in a rather self pitying mood today

sokay hun.

You know.....real friends stick with you when you're down.

I mean, look at me!!! I became rude and very irritable, yet friends have stuck with me. It's a case of looking around for people who will stick around you during the good times, and the bad.

Granted, when I flipped last week, some of my friends didn't post in my journal. It was because they didn't know what to say, but they're chatting away to me in other conversations, and on e-mail. This is what friendship means

yeah but the thing is that a lot of my friends got tired and drained because its ALWAYS like that. Plus none of my friends live very close to be and so I dont have to see people. That puts a bit of a rift because if I decide not to talk to people then they cant exactly march up to me and force me to be reasonable, besides many cant be bothered.
And the recent kafuffle has meant that a lot accused me of trying to kill myself and that i was selfish and immature and they couldnt deal with that, without waiting to hear what actually happened. I realise that if they react like that then they arent really friends that I need so much but it still hurts. The added thing that I dont go to college or work or go out means that I have very very few ways of making new friends. It just...something...is a lead space in me. Together with Nick chucking me when she had been such a great friend as well as my girlfriend means that I just dont have anyone who understands properly or ever has the full picture anymore.

Sorry...how on earth did I manage to make a perfectly nice convo all about me and my issues

I don't mind. I don't mine one little bit.

Sh!t happens in life....have you been to see your doctor if you're feeling low?

You are very much like me. I don't go out. I don't have many RL friends. What I like about hootoo is that you get to learn someones personality before you see what they look like.

Hun. If you're feeling down. Let me know. I don't have internet access at home (at mums atm), but I do have internet access at w*rk so can chat most of the time.

Chuckle...go have a quick perusal of my journals. Then get back to me about whether Ive seen my doctor

Tell you if Im feeling down ever? Just...umm....yeah go look at those journals...Im a bit stumped what to say.

Thank you very much though. It means a lot to me because I do like talking and being with people, its just hard.

give me a little bit...going to have a look now

you have had it rough haven't you!

Im not sure.

The latest is my trip to the gp this week.

He got a reply to his urgent letter to the psych consultant after a MONTH. It said that the psych deferred to him as a consultant and that I was techniaclly under him and he saw no problem with the situation as it stood and that he felt i was getting the help I needed and that it should continue as is....despite the fact I had said I didnt want to see the psych ever again and had only argued with her the past x number of times and she had lied to me, bullied me and argued. He didnt even mention my meds at all!
So...now the doc has to write back again and say he isnt happy with it and he wants a second opinion. It just seems to go on and on and on...Ive now seen....2 psychs in Bedford, these 2 in birmingham and 2 in cambridge...
Theres also the added thing that I dont think psychs will help me. Oh yes Im certain they can help people and I do believe that a lot of people get a lot out of it...but I dont know...I suppose I feel so let down and its been going on for 9 years now and nobody has taken me seriously, and the person who takes me least seriously most of the time is actually me!