h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Arrrrraaaggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Someone save me..................I won't use a spork


Happy sodit, by the way.

H

Yes you will Leave your name at the Manifesto!

You can't resist

I refuse to call Thursday Thing. And I won't use a spork.

H

No, I'm sure I can convert you
Don't make me conquer Missouri again!

Just try and conquer us! We'll get you in the hills and you'll become a toy boy for some big greasy redneck. And will wind up in a stew. And no one will eat him with sporks.

H

Ah, but we have all sorts of Aircraft and Anthrax to wipe out the hills!
A lot of aircraft and anthrax are actually manufactured in that great state O-mine O-hio

We have a number of military bases. The only base for the stealth bombers, for example. We're well protected from Ohio aircraft. As for the anthrax, I've already alerted the proper authorities and it is being confiscated as I type this.

So, how would you like to be a banjo player?

H

Jeffersonville manufactures the anthrax for the US government, so I'm guessing that it won't be confiscated

Stealth bombers Pah. Those were surprisingly easy to blow up

Would you like to be have a job catching brown ?

After I offered to make you homemade chicken noodle soup when you were sick, you want to saddle me with brown fish. Typical.

Too late. The anthrax is already confiscated. I win.

H

Nope never was confiscated
I win

Well I don't wanna play the banjo - it wouldn't look good in the papers. 'Former Prez Jodan played Banjo professionally'

Better than a saxaphone. Hey, the two of you could form a band. You could strum and Bill could blow.


H

That's terrible H!

And that would be Monica

At least Dubya is too boring to get into that kind of trouble. Sometimes mediocrity is an advantage.


H

That's why Ohio is

Up with mediocrity.

WC is too boring to be mediocre.


H

No, 'cos if we make mediocrity go up, it will soon become excitingness
Then we won't know what to think

Down with mediocrity. Up with barely competent.


H

Then they'll trade roles!
You can't just change english!

Sorry, but boring, mediocre and barely competent are the only ways I can think of to describe him. Unless you want to use that great descriptor 'average'. We don't have a lot to work with here.

H

'word-o' and 'don't mess with Texas come to mind'

But I made the first word up and the other one is a phrase