Journal Entries
In my mind...
Posted Jan 22, 2003
In my mind there are three broad types of people in the world.
The first are the rational. Those that believe that we are merely electrically-stimulated, walking bags of chemicals. We accidentally evolved from the primal goo and have no other purpose other than to breed and die. Any growth, happiness or suffering we experience is transitory and is lost at death. Morals and ethics are rules we invent to ensure maximum survival of the species and the strengthening of the gene pool. We have neither souls nor spirits, these are psychological illusions to enable us to survive trauma and suffering.
The second type of people are those that believe that there is a purpose to life beyond the survival of the species. These have felt in their hearts the presence of the divine, in whatever cultural context they interpret that as. A mysterious spiritual force that infuses their lives with hope, love and purpose. Most don't claim to understand it, and each approaches it in their own way.
Some do so through the organised, mainstream religions. Choosing those whose spiritual and cultural doctrines match the need of the person, more or less. Others choose a more solitary path of self-discovery, seeking the divine within their own consciousnesses. A few see the divine within all things and try to work with it in that context.
In each of these cases morals and ethics become more than a mere survival kit. They come to define the relationship of the person with both the divine and the world about them. These morals and ethics can (and in the case of many of the mainstream religions) become codified as dogma, limiting the spiritual growth of the believer. This is an inherent weakness in the spiritual path in life. It makes the believer reliant on the church or priest for their relationship with the divine, and thus vulnerable to manipulation. The Rationalists use this as evidence of the folly of the spiritual path. Denigrating its values and degrading its ability to provide hope, love and purpose.
Since the 17th century the Rationalists have worked away at the foundations of the mainstream religions. This culminated, in the wake of half a century of total war, in a widespread loss of faith in them. Because of the Rationalists' inability to replace religion with anything else of moral or ethical value we now have the third type - the Destitute.
The spiritual vacuum of the Rationalists has led this third group, who form the majority of people in the West today, to replace their spiritual base with consumerism, mass (lowest common denominator) entertainment and dependence upon chemical stimulants. This doesn't fill the vacuum, but it does mask the pain of its absence.
The lack of moral or ethical guidance has caused the rocketing of crime rates all across the civilised world. The Rationalist response to this is not justice and rehabilitation but the ever more desperate attempts to control it through the spawning of more laws and punishment.
An, admittedly simplistic, definition of a psychopath is one who recognises no moral or ethical imperative. One who is interested only in instant, personal gratification. How many of our young could now be broadly defined as psychopathic?
Yet the Rational establishment, always an educationally-inbred elite, continues to condemn the spiritual path as one of confused, corrupt cultists. The problem in this is that in the face of such cultural extremism rise other extremists to oppose it. Across the world the movement towards religious and political extremism grows. In their desperation and fury these extremists resort more and more to psychological, political and physical violence in their attempt to break the Rationalists' stranglehold. The Rationalists wring their hands, unwilling or unable to comprehend what would drive a person (who in their philosophy has an instinctual directive to self-survival) to willingly give up their own life to further their cause. Thus the Rationalists are unable to respond intelligently, resorting, in their desperation, to unspeakable acts in their turn.
Where then are the established religions? Apparently shackled by millennia of tradition and dogma, and tied to a philosophy of retreat and self-recrimination. They are no longer capable of motivating their followers, whom they robbed of spiritual growth and freedom centuries before. Some die slowly, drowning in their own impotence, others retreat into a medieval mindset in the face of modern conflicts.
And so the ranks of the destitute grow as the Rationalists retreat into their ivory political institutions, and on the fringes the religious and political extremists vent their fury. These extremists are frequently able to give their followers some hope and purpose, but seldom love or a useful connection to the divine. An extremist sect cannot afford to give their followers the freedom of spiritual self-discovery, for down that road lies questions and dissent. It is a self-destructive philosophy as flawed as that of the Rationalists'.
What then of the future? It doesn't look good does it? On one hand we have the failure of Rational culture, and on the other the growth of religious and political extremism. In the middle lie the destitute.
Can it be a coincidence that at this time so many people are rediscovering a personal connection to the divine? Amongst the mainstream religions has come a resurgence of charismatic evangelism. A force that frees people to forge an individual relationship to the divine or holy spirit. Albeit still tied in part to an entrenched dogma, these people approach life with purpose, hope and love. The best of them exude an immense amount of positive energy, the worst remain lost in the dogma.
But beyond the established religions lies the fastest growing realm of spirituality. A realm where self-discovery of the divine spirit, in a myriad forms, is the imperative. Hope, love and purpose infuses these people. Yet this realm is young and vulnerable. It is full of the recently awakened destitute, damaged by decades of rational philosophy or religious dogma. They are often angry at having been denied such hope, love and purpose as they now find, for so long.
This is where we must be wary. Such anger must be dissipated by understanding and compassion. Those who have walked before must treat those that follow with respect and honour. If we do not we shall allow ignorance and intolerance to breed, and we shall have our own extremists. Sadly I already see this on the net. There are seemingly endless attacks on people who "don't see it our way", especially on those still within the mainstream religions. If this goes on it will drive away those amongst the destitute who come here seeking hope, love and purpose. For we shall become indistinguishable from the Rationalists, Dogmatists and Extremists.
The Rationalists already recognise the threat we pose and are working through their control of the popular media to marginalise us as cranks and charlatans. We are lampooned daily and thus made less attractive to the destitute.
Our road forwards must be paved with tolerance and compassion. Rail not at the Evangelist who calls us "Spawns of Satan", or the scientist who declares us mentally unbalanced and unfit for rational society. We must walk the path, not just talk about it. Live our lives with purpose, bring hope to those that seek it and love life in all its forms. Then we shall find others amongst the destitute shall be attracted to the path, to that personal discovery of the divine that liberates us all.
We must be prepared to work with any person who shows moral courage and holds to ethical values, be they of our persuasion or not. A truly devoted Catholic priest can be an inspiration, a charismatic Evangelist lay minister a fountain of hope, and a Wiccan priestess a beacon of love. Look first at the person, not the label - we pagans don't own the market on hope, love and purpose.
When we meet intolerance and hatred we must look those two old impostors in the eye. Try to divine the causes, understand the need that drives them and respond with hope and love. If we are ignored, walk on with an open heart, all things will pass. By our example shall we sow the seeds of hope.
One day I believe this example will change the world. The destitute shall discover hope, love and purpose. Our children's children shall live fuller lives, free of hatred and despair. The road to this future lies here with each of us. With our next step. But do we have the courage to take it?
Hope, love and purpose to you all,
Matholwch the Apostate /|\.
Discuss this Journal entry [61]
Latest reply: Jan 22, 2003
'Fluffy-Bunny Pagans' and 'Wannabe Willows'
Posted Jan 21, 2003
'Fluffy-Bunny Pagans' and 'Wannabe Willows', what a lovely pair of labels. Let's invent some more:
- 'Know-it-all-asshole pagans'
- 'Pompous git pagans'
- 'Arrogant twerp pagans'
- 'We were here first pagans'
- 'Damaged christian avengers'
Had enough yet? I have.
On my journey I have met just about every conceivable type of pagan, but nothing disappoints me more than a pagan who decries the 'fluffy-bunnies' and 'wannabe wiccans'. In their arrogance and ignorance they have just condemned a very large and important sector of the 'pagan community'.
The vitriol penned on the net about 'these people' is incredible. Ordinary pagans practically foam at the mouth when 'they' are mentioned. I am quite surprised that we haven't had any 'fluffy-bunny' BBQ's yet. People who blandly quote from the Rede one minute are committing psychological assault the next, for the terrible crime of being different from them!
Does this sound familiar? For those of you for whom I am too subtle how about 'Thou shalt not kill', followed by 'Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live'? I suppose I should not be surprised that our Christian upbringing emerges in our pagan practice, but I am disappointed.
OK, so what are these terrible blasphemers guilty of?
1. Fluffy-Bunny pagans; as far as I can make out from their enemies, these poor benighted souls believe in love and light, and wear rose tinted glasses, and have altar covers with pink teddy bears on, and say things like 'huggles', and believe in faeries at the bottom of their gardens, and don't take anything too seriously....etc, ad nauseum.
2. Wannabe Willows; let's see, their reviews in 'Arrogant Witch Weekly' says these are agressive pseudo-goths, who spend their time swapping spells, raping the high school population with love potions, enthroning themselves as High Priestesses after a month's study, watching endless repeats of 'Buffy', 'Practical Magic' and 'The Craft', and bringing the whole of Wicca into disrepute.
So what is my take on all this?
1. Fluffy-Bunny pagans; I really wish we had more of them. Life can be dark and depressing and I could do with some positive people around, who don't take me seriously, and who want to 'huggle' me.
2. Wannabe Willows; These poor souls just can't win. On one hand they are considered incompetent and on the other hand, dangerous. They are pitied for daring to believe magic is real, and has a purpose.
In both cases the general pagan response seems to be either; exclude them, harrass them, disown them; or, bring them in and train them 'properly', so they can see the error of their ways.
Gods! What arrogance and hypocrisy! Is this what we have struggled and died for? Have we learnt nothing from the Abrahamic religions?
I thought the whole point of our paganism was to explore our spirituality, to share our wisdom, to help each other and to try not to make the same mistakes again.
So let it end here! I am willing to make a stand on this. I am the friend of any who will follow the simple rules of Courtesy, Honesty and Respect. If you know a fluffy-bunny or a wannabe-Willow, let them know.
For which of us is really able to say 'I know better than you'. There is more wisdom in a child's hand than a room full of priests, and our whole purpose as spiritual beings is to learn and grow, no matter the source of our wisdom.
Ranting blessings,
Matholwch the Apostate /|\.
Discuss this Journal entry [55]
Latest reply: Jan 21, 2003
The Eagle Sleeps No More
Posted Jan 6, 2003
This is one I wrote in the aftermath of 9-11. It just seemed appropriate to re-publish it now....
The Eagle Sleeps No More.
Across the western Ocean,
Upon a distant shore,
I hear its wings unfold and know,
The Eagle sleeps no more.
The castle gate has fallen,
With an awful roar,
I fear for my children now,
As the Eagle sleeps no more.
Once I heard the Eagle's cry,
When evil knocked its door,
A storm of wings descended then,
And that evil was no more.
So now I pray for patience,
Because it chills me to the core,
That the calls for vengeance,
Might outweigh the rule of law.
For revenge exacts a terrible price,
One we've paid before,
But many yet may have to pay,
As the Eagle goes to war.
And in its fury, it shall not know,
The evil, from the poor,
And punish all within its view,
With its terrible, swift sword.
So all good folk of ancient way,
Whom this evil do abhor,
Pray for justice, and restraint,
Let the Eagle sleep some more.
Blessings,
Matholwch the Apostate /|\.
Discuss this Journal entry [11]
Latest reply: Jan 6, 2003
The Stand.
Posted Dec 10, 2002
I stand here,
beneath the verdant oak,
and extend my arms in warm embrace,
to my brothers and sisters,
to the spirits and the gods,
as their love washes me clean,
for a new day.
I stand here,
above the rushing waters,
as they carry my words,
to those who would drink,
of my little chalice,
of precious wisdom.
I stand here,
on the windswept crag,
and extend my heart,
that it might shelter,
all who come to h2g2,
with its spirit of love.
I stand here,
that you may come,
and whisper to me of,
fragrant gardens, sheltered groves,
mighty rivers, ancient books,
and that I may then shout,
my joy to the sky!
I stand here,
with head bowed in gratitude,
for your tales of wandering,
of pilgrimage and of hope,
for the fire in your heads,
and the love in your hearts.
For all this I will stand here,
until the final sunset.
Blessings,
Matholwch the Apostate /|\.
Discuss this Journal entry [13]
Latest reply: Dec 10, 2002
A Prayer For A Friend
Posted Dec 3, 2002
A friend of mine is going through a time of trial at the moment. This came to me while I was watching Leslie Garrett's superb program 'The Singer' on Saturday. I hope he finds it useful.
A Prayer For A Friend
Regret is a coiled serpent.
It tightens around my memories and hardens my heart.
It feeds upon my past failure and robs me of the capacity to hope.
The serpent cares not for now, only for then.
Then is gone and cannot be changed.
I will focus on the joy I have now.
The serpent cannot hold onto life, only onto the dead.
I am alive and feel the bright Awen in my spirit.
So the serpent cannot hold me.
I will not give in to the serpent.
The pain is real but all wounds will heal, if I let them.
The serpent cannot prevail, unless I let it.
I shall not be the slave of regret.
Blessings,
Matholwch the Apostate /|\.
Discuss this Journal entry [2]
Latest reply: Dec 3, 2002
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