Journal Entries
The Noble Art Of Shooting Each Other.
Posted Oct 31, 2002
Since the dawn of civilisation, mankind has dedicated an extraordinary degree of his spare time to contriving new and improved ways of bludgeoning his peers to death.
From the first proto-human hunter gatherers and tool makers there appears to be an inbuilt genetic desire to sharpen the stick, craft flints into axe heads and drop boulders off cliff ledges onto unsuspecting neighbours.
From Stone Age to Bronze Age we witness a refinement in the tool making process, but alas, no refinement in the manner to which this new technology is applied. The sharpened stick becomes sharper, the axe head keener and large wooden machineries are constructed in order to deliver the boulder with more precision to neighbours over a mile away.
With the introduction of the Iron Age one would imagine that humanity has had time to resolve its petty differences and usher in a new age of wisdom and understanding. One would imagine erroniously. The pointed stick undergoes a series of transformations that imbue it with the ability to launch metal projectiles for great distances and comes complete with a variety of optional bayonet fittings. The axe head remains relatively unchanged but is now relegated to second line duties in the settlement of domestic disputes. And the boulder is now packed with plutonium, launched into orbit and capable of dragging us back into the Stone Age from where the cycle will no doubt repeat itself. Unfortunately, the neighbours have one just like it.
And so, over the following weeks I shall be exploring the various reasons and circumstances under which we fight and attempting to discover why shooting each other remains one of the most popular and widespread outdoor activities of the modern age.
With gun and umbrella,
Ruprecht.
Discuss this Journal entry [3]
Latest reply: Oct 31, 2002
Hold the Giant Squid....
Posted Sep 13, 2002
The lot of an international time travelling swashbuckling dragonslaying getting the girl and riding off into the sunset adventurer is not always a happy one. It is also rather awkward to fit within the confines of the average calling card and tends to give the typesetter a vicious migraine of Homeric magnitude. Advertising in the local newspaper, as you can imagine, costs a small fortune.
My point?
Well, as per usual I do not have one. I was merely of the opinion that it was high time that I updated my journal.
Anyone who has unfortunately blundered into this self serving diatribe will no doubt be wondering what on earth I am talking about.
I formally add my own name to the roster.
Well, this has been a trying week; what with saving the universe from face hugging aliens, evil galactic Empires and solving mysterious murder cases in the smoggy streets of nineteeth century London.
Poised to rush once again to the fore I fully intend to slay the Jabberwock, usurp the throne of King Duncan of Scotland and finally discover what The Matrix really is whilst simultaneously fending off my wife and children who want to play online Tetris.
With gun and umbrella,
Ruprecht.
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: Sep 13, 2002
Day Eleven....
Posted Aug 30, 2002
So once more I take a further tentative step into this bold new world.
I have completed the worst hospital night shift of my entire career, to which the expression 'Body Count' would be infinitely more suitable.
It gives one precious little time in which to buckle my swash across the known (and unknown) world in search of destiny, notoriety and the obligatory huge sack of priceless diamonds.
Completion of my latest forays into the realm of inaccurate archaeology and discovery have taken me to seventienth century Denmark as the mad prince of Elsinore and a brief sojourn into nineteen seventies Colorado, to the disturbing Overlook Hotel in the heart of the snow bound Rocky Mountains (with courtesy fire axe on the pillow.)
Should time allow I shall be dabbling into the amphitheatre of gladiatorial combat, raiding the fabled temple of doom and being unexpectedly attacked by a man eating giant squid before tea time.
With Gun and Umbrella,
Ruprecht.
Discuss this Journal entry [3]
Latest reply: Aug 30, 2002
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