h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So once more I take a further tentative step into this bold new world.

I have completed the worst hospital night shift of my entire career, to which the expression 'Body Count' would be infinitely more suitable.

It gives one precious little time in which to buckle my swash across the known (and unknown) world in search of destiny, notoriety and the obligatory huge sack of priceless diamonds.

Completion of my latest forays into the realm of inaccurate archaeology and discovery have taken me to seventienth century Denmark as the mad prince of Elsinore and a brief sojourn into nineteen seventies Colorado, to the disturbing Overlook Hotel in the heart of the snow bound Rocky Mountains (with courtesy fire axe on the pillow.)

Should time allow I shall be dabbling into the amphitheatre of gladiatorial combat, raiding the fabled temple of doom and being unexpectedly attacked by a man eating giant squid before tea time.

With Gun and Umbrella,

Ruprecht.

Bad day at the office then

More like 'typical' day at the office.

The NHS need to be a tad more specific in their policy for patients who suffer a cardiac arrest in the lift on the way down to X ray.

Particularly if I happen to be on escort duty.

As for giant squid, the canteen has been serving the same specimen for over a month now under a variety of differing titles.

My favourite is 'Soup of the Day': Warning, may contain enormous mollusc tentacles.... and invariably does.