h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

oh gawd yeah! my mode will consist of pink fishnets, leopard-print and fake fur when i go to college!yaay!

U quit the band because of the uniform?! Gawd i wish i could have quit the swing band... they still dont know i have left... oooopsi!

I know i was totally shocked when i discovered how little teachers earn. All they are is pen-pushers. I don't think there are very many actual good teachers out there. I've came across about 4 in my lifetime so far.

Well the reason i know no Norwegian is because the media isn't exactly filled with it is it?! lol... i mean Span are the only Norwegian band i know and they sing in English!Lol having said that my French and Spanish sucks too

well yeah u can get the net but my mam won't pay for it. She says it's too expensive. I get it for about 3 days every 7 months or something because i have a link for it but it's only temporary. Anyway it's not paid for. I don't know why it works sometimes and sometimes it doesnt. But it isn't good because it always crashes.

I have a digibox. I suppose that's like a computer.

the reason i can't make the letter on my own home keyboard is because i don't have a Unlock Num button.

Claire
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oh! did u have fun at school today?xxxx

oh andi know it's supposed to be AN Unlock Num button!

and i wasn't trying to be patronising when i asked if u had fun at school... i'm being serious!xxx

Haha... well, I'm not that freaky, that's the strange thing about my class, all of them look all but normal, most of them are dressed very casually, but they're all total weirdoes... They all behave... well... to put it bluntly... in an extremely childish fashion, even though most of them are very intelligent. We're the only class at school known to play childrens' party games (Like the chair game and suchlike) at school, in public... We do all sorts of weird things really...

Well, yeah, that's one of the bigger reasons, but that's not what I told my parents, I had other reasons as well...

Anyway... Yeah, the teachers are totally underpaid here, and obviously in Scotland as well... And it used to be such a respected profession... I haven't met many good teachers either, but I know of a couple...


Yeah, I know, but that's not an excuse, I communicate to you in a language foreign to me... Whereas you speak your native language (If it'll make the argument any better, we could use new-norwegian as a close approximation to scottish...). That's the point I'm putting through here, it doesn't matter whether or not the language is spoken in the media... I have most of my knowledge from what I've learnt from older people (and some teachers), anyhow. But it's not important, I'm just pushing a principle here, I'm well aware you haven't had ten years of (new-)norwegian training... And I'm actually happy to have my English corrected... That way I may learn new things...

Well, you're probably better at French than I am, I've only had French for a year now...

Hmm... must be something to do with the cable network (we've gotten some free channels when there's a breakdown on the cable network... no, not those channels, urgh, don't even think like that!)

Ahh... I see... I'd forgotten about those... right...

Hmm... You don't have a NumLock-key? How come you have a numpad? Or perhaps you don't? Anyway, I think it should work with the normal numbers just above the letters... I'll try it when I sign this one...

No... It didn't work...

Anyhow...
I've been a bit late with this reply, because I've been celebrating my sister's eigteenth birthday... We went to a small indian restaurant in Oslo yesterday, had a huge dinner (I still smelt of garlick this morning, even after brushing my teeth twice... needless to say, I've used some 3 packets of chewing gum today... urgh..), loads of wine, and... well... a really good time... Anyway, you won't believe who came to the restaurant yesterday, sung happy birthday with us, and shook hands with Miriam (my sister (or at least one of them)) to congratulate her... Well, the name wouldn't be familiar to you, but it was Jens Stoltenberg, he was our prime minister a couple of years ago... Needless to say, Miriam was enormously proud....

Oh, yeah, I did have fun today... I've met up with all the familiar weirdoes, and we've had loads of fun talking about the holdiays... We went to introduce ourselves to the first-graders today (meaning the ones that are one year younger than ourselves, and new to Videregående), we sung to them, and introduced ourselves, it was hellishly fun... "Hi, I'm Kristian, I'm from Drammen, and I sing, oh, and i think yellow jelly is the best sort...", "Hi, I'm Øyvind, I'm from Kana, In Hurum (a ridiculously small place,), I usually say that I live about 40 metres left of the last frontier, and I play drums", "Hi, I'm Martine, Im' from Lier, and I'm single..."... Well, we had a lot more jokes, but most of them can't be translated properly...

Oh, and don't worry, I didn't find it the least bit patronising!

Øyvind

freaky?! im not freaky! lol... okay i'll pretend u meant "special"...lol

i get the feeling people at college are going to be like that too! really childish and immature... then again i'm not so grown-up myself. afterall i did buy a hot-pink tutu yesterday... my fellow classmates won't miss me in that!lol

i wasn't thinking u were watching dirty channels! oh really Ovvind!lol... we;ve been having trouble with the channels too... the music ones in particular.

nah i dont have an Unlock Num key.the numbers on my keyboard are in a line above the top row of letters. It's a Telewest keyboard. It's not exactly like a computer keyboard.

I've been a bit late in replying to your message too becoz well i ran out of battery power and also because like you i was out at a restaurant celebrating my exam results. However my prime minister didn't sing for me... thank the Lord.

awwww that's nice! I'd be like "Eh im Claire and i canny speak Norwegian"...lol

spk soon!
Luv Claire
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I did mean special, freaky is a compliment in my vocabulary, the same as weird, strange and childish.

Yeah, that's plausible, but it depends what you're studying... A hot-pink tutu you say? That sounds cool... and you plan to wear this on what occasions? Kristian is here, he asked if he could borrow it...

Thank god for that, I just felt like mentioning it, though... Some people seem to believe that all boys are some sort of wild sex animals... Thus I figured it should be included, and it was a joke anyway. Ahh... well, I have a solution to that problem, quit watching TV... You can have marginally more fun by doing healthy activities (at least I think so, I'm not saying that I've actually tried anything like that... I'm a musician, for heaven's sake).

Ahh... allright... unfortunate, but still, I'm sure it's practical...

Hahahahaaaa... well, yeah, having Tony Blair sing you "Happy Birthday" would be somewhat of an anticlimax... I hear he's not very popular these days...

Hahahahaha...

Oh, and Kristian says hi, and told me to say that he likes scottish castles...

Be seein ya (stricly speaking, no, "be writing to ya")
Øyvind

just lost another message... i hate h2g2!lolxxx

btw i am currently trying to reply to your message but the digibox keeps crashing.xxx

awwww well u must be freaky too then! i mean a bilingual drummer... whoever heard of that?!... im not implying that drummers are stupid...!

oh of course Kristian can borrow it! im sittin here laughing...!

i dont think all guys are like that... just the majority!... mind u i've heard Norwegians are very respectful and quite mature. Brit guys are tht total opposite really! Most of them are complete twats! Plus i've also heard that the Norwegian girls are very beautiful in comparison to Brit girls... mind u that wouldn't be difficult!

"Hi Kristian!"... he likes Scottish castles? What about the Scottish lassies?!

Claire
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Haha... well... I know quite a few bilingual drummers... My teacher is quadro-lingual (or something), because he wishes to get a job in one of the big symphony-orchestras... Well... I am quite weird, yes, I'll admit that...

Haha... Glad to hear that... He had quite a laugh when I told him what a tutu was (after he had asked to borrow it, of course)...

Just the majority eh... Well, you might be right... Hopefully I'm not part of that majority... But really... I think a lot of guys only act like that to be humourous (something the girls don't understand at all), but I'll admit that there are a lot of VERY shallow guys... Thing is, I'm just not interested in the kind of relationships that that kind of behaviour usually creates... It's not interesting at all... Haha... yes, I figured out that about brit. guys when I started hanging out at messageboards like b3ta... A huge bunch of wankers... and they're proud of it... But there are certain golden moments... when they stop talking about wanking and start making funny pictures... Well, beauty is relative... I suppose the grass is always greener on the other side... But according to the "ideal" put forward in the media today, I suppose tall, slim blonde girls really fit the picture nicely. Not that I care about that, though... I'm one of those weird guys who's not really interested in looks...

Really... you shouldn't pick on yourself for being british... I think it's just a different kind of beauty... What's counted for as beautiful is really just a cultural trend... If you were to go back in history, you'd find that, for lack of a better word, "obesity" was fashion, and thus considered as beauty.

Well, Kristian has no experience with scottish lassies, and he is currently in a relationship, so... tough luck . I think he'd like scottish lassies, though, if he could say something on the subject...

Øyvind

oh kewl! that's what i like about foreigners, they are more likely to be at least bilingual than British people. British people in general are really lazy about learning a foreign language.

he didn't know what a tutu was?! Sheesh! Why not?!lol... did your explanation of what a tutu was include the word "ballerina" by any chance?!

yes wankers could be the collective name for a group of British guys. I actually hate using the term British because si don't feel British, im Scottish. However to generalise yeah, Brit guys are idiots. They can't articulate themselves, they don't know how to dress and they treat females like dogs.

tall, slim and blonde? Gosh im only 1 out of those 3!(and that's slim by the way) Oh and also not all Brits are obese! Some of us watch our weight!

Really im proud to be Scottish. Not British. I take great comfort from knowing that the Scottish accent is considered the sexiest accent in Britain!lol

awwww! So is Kristian's girlfriend tall, slim and blonde then?!

Are any of the Norwegian girls not blonde?!

Oh and you don't care about a girl's looks? Seriously?! Do you not have like a favourite celebrity(or something like that) who you find very attractive?

spk soon!
Claire
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Haha... that's true... but I know a scot who is very keen on learning Norwegian... The french are much worse though...

Kritian didn't know what it was, because we don't call it a tutu in Norwegian.
Well... yes, it sort of did... a tutu is generally called a "ballettskjørt" in Norwegian, and Ballett obviously has something to do with ballerinas...

Yes, I know you're a scot... I wouldn't have mentioned anything at all containing the B-word, had it not been for the sole fact that YOU SAID IT FIRST... Mwaahahahahahaaaa... well, I kinda meant it more literally... There's a British website called b3ta, a messageboard, actually. Anyway, this messageboard is infested with british guys... and it comes as no suprise that they talk a lot about wanking... It came as a total shock to me, though. I've always been raised with the stereotypic image of englishmen being these really boring tea-drinking guys, with all to much politeness... Whereas the scots on the other hand are these incredibly rude and cool whisky-drinkers and sheepfarmers (I abandoned that image long ago, though)...

Well... yeah, that is the stereotypic image of a norse woman... It's not neccesarily correct, but I've seen a lot of tall, slim, blonde girls (and nearly all of them are "berter", btw) here.

I never said you were obese... I said that fashion in the renaissance stated clearly that obesity was a beauty-ideal (not sure about that word, but you get my meaning, right?) for women...

That's good... But you are aware that the sexiness of the accent only applies to men, right? At least here... We had a long discussion among the girls (and me) in class about whether or not a guy with a kilt and a scottish accent was sexy (the final conclusion was yes)... But I've never heard that about girls...

I suppose you could be right, though, I'll ask some of the other guys in the morning...

Well... I suppose she's tall and slim, but i dunno if she's blonde.

Well, yes, of course... most of them aren't, but being blonde is more normal up here... We have a lot of brunettes, and some redheads here as well, you know .

Yeah, nobody ever believes me when I say that... But I'm absolutely serious... I don't care, I percieve that beauty comes more from within... A person that you might have considered ugly one moment, may be really good-looking once you find out what he/she stands for, and what sort of qualities he/she possesses (wow, 5 "s"s)
Now, the next argument goes something like this: but you can't deny that your first impression of a person doesn't affects your view of that person, and wheter or not you choose to contact that person...
To which I usually reply that I never fall in love based on a first impression, and that I could well have an "ugly" person as a friend, so it wouldn't matter, because I may well fall in love with that person once I get to know her.
The next argument is: You can't deny that you don't think like that subconciously, though...
No, I can't but I can take into consideration who I've fallen in love with, and why I have fallen in love with them, and that has led me to the belief that I do not care about looks.
Also, as I mentioned before, I percieve that the standard image we have for beauty these days is only a relative and changeable image based on the trends of time, hence it should not be considered as a law or a straight definition. It's based on culture, and culture changes...

Oh my, that was a long rant... No, I have no favourite celebrities...
You wouldn't find a single poster in my room depicting anything other than the acropolis, some caves, or some painting from LOTR by Alan Lee...

sure... spk soon...
Øyvind

Oh, and I'm well aware that lassies don't wear kilts...

yeah the French are very proud of their language aren't they? Quite right though i think. It's a beautiful language... but then i would say that.

Haha! Im laughing at your initial perception of Scotsmen and Englishmen! Btw Scotsmen ARE loud, whisky-drinking louts! Do not be mistaken Oyvind!

Only male Scots accents are sexy? I think you're much mistaken... Gawd i hope u r.lol... nah i like the French accent to be honest... and the Irish and Welsh. I can't think of what the Norwegian accent sounds like exactly.

Fair enough. I think you sound mature and realistic. However do you have a "type"?... i find most guys say they most certainly do not have a type but when i dig deeper they always do!

Right. Do you not have pictures of bands on your bedroom walls though?

Claire
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Use of sarcasm Oyvind? Well if u aren't being sarcastic i'd like to inform you that i own 2 kilts... and one is lined with black PVC!XXX

Haha... yeah, I went to Paris once... and it was absolutely impossible to communicate with anyone there... They just insisted on speaking French, the same goes for Switzerland...

I agree... it is a beautiful language... that's why I decided to learn it...

Ahh... well... there are always some truths to the stereotypes... yes, I know, but using stereotypes certainly tends to cause offence. You might just be offended by my somewhat simplistic view of scots, and my total ignorance of the individuals right to decide for him or herself. Hence, I take the liberty of calling the stereotype a misapprehension, that way you may laugh, and I've said my piece, and you may enlighten me to whether or not it's true, and I may become a better and more enlightened person, and I may enlighten others again etc.

Hmm... well, I've reconsidered... perhaps the scottish accent is sexy, I think it might be, but that's currently only my personal opinion, I'll ask some of the guys in my class tomorrow...

Phew... thanks. Well, I'm not sure... I think I tend to fall for girls with "energy", charisma, and intelligence (though, that is not always neccesary). If that's what you mean by "type" (the idiom is not widely used in Norwegian)...

Well, I have one really old Span-poster, but that's it, I have the autographs of three bands, though.

Oh, girls DO wear kilts? I'm embarassed, we only hear of the guys over here... Sorry .

Øyvind

u have learned French too?! that's the language i meant was beautiful

yaay! I'll be looking forward to hearing what you're classmates think of the Scottish accent.

Hmmmm yeah... the media are to blame for the stereotyping of Scots. I mean i was watching Trisha (chat show) this morning and the guy who beat up his wife was Scottish. Similarly in soaps the rapists, alcoholics, junkies etc are almost always Scottish!

well by "type" im really meaning lookswise but since you are a very mature and very rare species of male Oyvind then it doesn't apply to u!

Oh yes! Lots of girls over here wear kilts. I wear mine to gigs. It's kind of part of the "Punk" image. I'm not a punk but i still wear one... I wear mine with fairywings instead!

Which bands autographs do u have? I only have 2 bands autographs(Easyworld, Something Corporate)

Claire
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Well... I have started learning french, I've had the subject for a year now... So I'm terrible at it, especially the accents (just in case it isn't the same in English: the wee lines above the vowels (mostly e's)).

Hmmm... we'll see tomorrow...

Yeah, it's VERY unfortunate... I know it's not like that at all (please tell me I'm right here).

Hmm ahh... well, all the girls I've fallen in love with are very different, so I don't think I have a "type". Thanks anyway... I'm flattered

Ahh... Scotland is even cooler than I thought... Now I'm really looking forward to that concert...

Well, Millencolin, Span, D'sound, and I have the autograph of some swedish hip-hopper called Feven (but I'm not really into her music, I just met her when I worked in television)...

Øyvind

oh gawd my French accent is diabolical! My Spanish one i even worse mind.

yaay! I'm looking forward to the gig too! even if it is a year away or summat!lol... i'll be the one in the corner in the pink tutu,black velvet haltertop, pink fairywings and black cat ears!

That's cool. I really like it when bands turn out to be really sweet and nice. I haven't been disappointed yet... mind u i haven't met many bands but im getting there!

Awwww that's okay! Believe me being a girl living in Scotland you are a breath of fresh air and i don't even know you personally! lol
If you lived in Scotland I imagine you would be extremely popular with girls(not that i'm assuming you are unpopular with girls in Norway). It's just a lot of teenage girls over here date guys who are quite a bit older than themselves, say early to mid-twenties because they find the teenage boys over here so obnoxious.

Claire
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Wow... haven't posted for a day... that's not like me, but I have an excuse. I've been to my second practice session with the Orchestra, and it's still enormously fun!

Yup, I just realized how much I'm looking forward to leaving Norway (not for long, mind you, but just to get some new impulses). I love it here, but the culture is very... well... closed. I.e. it's hard t meet new friends outside of your leisure activities, because social codes say that you can't strike up conversations with strangers (I have no idea how that works in Scotland, but I have the impression that Norwegians are generally more shy than the average scot). I guess I'll be wearing blue jeans and a span t-shirt for the gig... But we'll see when the time comes...

Hmmm... if we go to that gig together, you may add Span to the list of bands you've met...

Ahh... well, that's generally the same over here. I'll have to admit that I'm not exactly a normal Norwegian, many of my previous friends, and generally a lot of the guys I know are much more immature when it comes to girls. So the same thing goes on over here (teenage girls getting MUCH older boyfriends). It's a sad fact of human nature, but guys tend to mature at an older age than girls, the process usually stops somewhere between age eighteen and twenty, whereas the girls usually get it over and done with by age sixteen (note that all ages are approximations). I dunno about the girls, though, it's not the sort of thing I'd get to hear about, and I think I'm genearlly considered a bit dull (spends too much time with schoolwork, doesn't talk about fashion/football, knows too much about computers etc.).

Anyway, we've halfway concluded the "accent"-thingy, I believe that scottish accents are sexy with females as well, and so does Alex (a friend of mine), Kristian believes that it only applies to guys, so it's 2-1 thus far...

Øyvind

Well im glad you're still enjoying it! reminds me i need to practice sometime soon!

Norwegians generally don't talk to strangers?! Gosh... i didn't know that. Don't get me wrong i am actually fairly shy... well no i'm not actually... im quiet, not shy there's a difference isn't there?!lol

Ooooh yaay! I might get to meet Span! i hope they like kittens in tutu's!

Dull?! Nah no-one's dull! Every1 has an interst therefore they ain't dull. I suppose it just depends on how many people appreciate your interests y'kno? Plus from your description of the way a typical Norwegian teenage boy acts(i.e like a Scottish one!) maybe people see you as safe and sensible. I don't know that for a fact obviously but i'm pretty sure that's what people think of me anyway!

Yaay! Well done to you! "Boo!" to Kristian!

Claire
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