Journal Entries
Paperless Office, Clueless Office
Posted Mar 21, 2003
After months of using paper forms to request annual leave, overtime and unscheduled absence (whatever that may be), our office has finally entered (reluctantly) the digital age.
We can now send off these requests using electronic forms, which are much better as they go straight to resource, not your immediate manager and are harder to "lose".
After weeks of messages saying; "Do not use the paper forms anymore. Please use the online booking forms, located at......", I was surprised when I looked in the electronic notice board today, where I saw this message;
"Hi all,can you all please refrain from using the electronic overtime request form, and to continue with paper requests for overtime. Thanks Mick."
I smell a conspiracy. You're not paranoid if they really are out to get you.
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Latest reply: Mar 21, 2003
Holy Smoking Trousers!
Posted Mar 19, 2003
One of the last things you want to notice while putting on your troursers in the morning is a warning label saying:
"Keep away from fire!"
One wonders if this is a general safety rule, like "Never run with scissors," or whether its specific to my highly flammable trousers.
I, personally, am not willing to experiment.
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Latest reply: Mar 19, 2003
Pliers
Posted Mar 17, 2003
A brief note on the dangers of DIY.
A call taken by one of my colleagues raised a few smiles in the office.
The customer was an edlerly lady reporting damage to the wiring in her socket. Apparently the entire socket front had fallen off and pulled out all the wires.
My colleague adked her is the wires were dangerous, she said they might hurt her grandson.
Customer: "Just a minute, I'll get some pliers."
And went off before my colleague could argue with her. Usually we don't recommend customers to attempt repairs themselves.
The next sound hear on the phone was; "Right, I'm going to try pushing them bac-CLICK DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR......."
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Latest reply: Mar 17, 2003
2 Into 1
Posted Mar 17, 2003
Strange notion some people have of how the BT netowrk works.
I got a call from a gentleman saying he heard ringing halfway through dialing a number on his phone.
I asked him for the number. (I've changed the numbers to protect the innocent.
Customer: "555 1234 224 5655. Its a local number."
Me: "I think you've got two number mixed up there. Its too long to be a local number."
Customer: "But this is the number he gave me..."
Me: "Well, I think you should call directory enquiries to get the numbner."
Customer: "Oh, I'm not PAYING to get it."
I had to explain to him that there was very little else I could do. I am after all a faults operator, not directory enquiries.
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Latest reply: Mar 17, 2003
Red Noses
Posted Mar 13, 2003
As part of Red Nose Day 2003, BT changed the voice on the talking clock to that of Lenny Henry, who did various characters on it. BT is donating some of the money raised from the speaking clock to Comic Relief.
One of those characters has an over-exaggerated London accent, missing out every "H" sound.
As a BT customer service assistant on the faults department, I was surprised to get a call from someone is Suffolk complaining at the offensive language on the speaking clock.
I was confused at first, then I remembered the article I had read about the change of voice for the charity.
I asked her what language he was using that offended her.
Customer: 'He keeps saying "At the turd stroke, the time will be...." '
I explained to the customer that it was comedian Lenny Henry and that he wasn't prenouncing his "H"s deliberatly, so he was actually saying: "At the tHird stroke, the time will be...."
The customer says they should get peple who can speak English properly, and then said I should do it as I had a nice voice.
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Latest reply: Mar 13, 2003
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